Good Friday and its message

[Questions]

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At this time of the year I think it important that we remember the words of Jesus who said to his disciples, '' Hands of my eggs you theiving gits, I`ll be back on sunday.''

 

[dougdeep]

A bloke could get crucified for a joke like that.

 

[Barry Izbak]

Or the one about JC storming into the Jerusalem Holiday Inn, slamming three nails on the reception and asking if they would put him up for the night?

 

[sod1]

"do pop down the pub, all are welcome"

 

[Barrow Boy]

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At this time of the year I think it important that we remember the words of Jesus who said to his disciples, '' Hands of my eggs you theiving gits, I`ll be back on sunday.''

I think that quote is from the Gospel according to St Cadburys chapter 2 verse 5 and is mentioned again in the 11th Commandment "Thou shall not covet thy neighbours easter eggs"

 

[dougdeep]

So Jesus went up to Heaven after his stay on Earth and started to look for his father, who of course he had never met. Just then an old man with a white beard shuffled along the road towards him.
Jesus asked the old man what he was doing there. I'm looking for my son, he has holes in his hands where the nails were, have you seen him?
"Father!" yells out Jesus.
"Pinocchio?" yells the old man.

 

[Cadiz Seagull]

Can you cross your legs please, we only have one nail left

 

[Marc]

can someone explain to me why the f*** easter keeps changing every year? its much better in April!

 

[dougdeep]

can someone explain to me why the f*** easter keeps changing every year? its much better in April!

It's the first Sunday after the first full moon in Lent.

 

[swindonseagull]

dont call the ticket office...its closed they are all at church

 

[Barrow Boy]

So Jesus went up to Heaven after his stay on Earth and started to look for his father, who of course he had never met. Just then an old man with a white beard shuffled along the road towards him.
Jesus asked the old man what he was doing there. I'm looking for my son, he has holes in his hands where the nails were, have you seen him?
"Father!" yells out Jesus.
"Pinocchio?" yells the old man.

Jesus is in his final sufferings on the cross with his desciples gathered at his feet when he calls to them one at a time with his last words of wisdom for them. He finally comes to Peter and says "Peter, come close to me for my voice is weakening", so Peter gets a ladder and climbs up to be nearer to Jesus and Jesus says "come even closer my son". So Peter leans even closer to Jesus and says "Yes my lord, what words do you have for me?" and Jesus takes a big breath and says "I can see your house from up here".

 

[Marc]

It's the first Sunday after the first full moon in Lent.

well thats just f***ing gay! in 50,000 years time the moons orbit would've altered enough to move full moon to another day so it's gonna ll be screwed up by then & easter might be in mid JULY or something

 

[Trufflehound]

It's the first Sunday after the first full moon in Lent.

Close. It's the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox.

The Spring Equinox and the full moon both being today, it's practically as early as it's possible to get this year.

Edit: nicked from Encyclopaedia Britannica:

"The Council of Nicaea in 325 decreed that Easter should be observed on the first Sunday following the first full moon after the spring equinox (March 21). Easter, therefore, can fall on any Sunday between March 22 and April 25."

 

[cannedheat]

Insulting someones belief is as bad as insulting there race, f***ing hypocrites.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Quite right, if we had a thread of jokes about blacks that had been hung in the Us South in the 19th century the pc lefties would be up in arms. I am not especially religous but respect today is very important to a lot of people as Christ was murdered today, my workplace is open today, I refused to go in as I do not believe it should be open today. Sorry to put a dampener on this hilarious thread

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

The relentless pursuit of the pound can be put on hold for one day surely.

 

[dougdeep]

Insulting someones belief is as bad as insulting there race, f***ing hypocrites.

Hypocrite= person who pretends to have higher standards or beliefs than is the case.

Are you sure you have the right word sir?

 

[cannedheat]

Hypocrite= person who pretends to have higher standards or beliefs than is the case.

Are you sure you have the right word sir?

I aint no sir and yes

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Easter is, of course, the first Sunday after the SECOND full moon in Lent.

But when's Lent?

It starts 40 days before Easter.

 

[dougdeep]

Close. It's the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox.

The Spring Equinox and the full moon both being today, it's practically as early as it's possible to get this year.

Edit: nicked from Encyclopaedia Britannica:

"The Council of Nicaea in 325 decreed that Easter should be observed on the first Sunday following the first full moon after the spring equinox (March 21). Easter, therefore, can fall on any Sunday between March 22 and April 25."

A popular misconception.