Fixture joke Friday

[bailey]

One of my favourites from NSC over the years....

Bruce walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says...
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend who is lying in bed replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

 

[hans kraay fan club]

A man walks into a sandwich bar, and sees a sign that says "Cheese and Pickle Sandwiches £2, Hand-jobs 50p"....................................

 

[Buzzer]

This recruitment consultant's mother goes into a bar..

 

[Frutos]

Knock knock...

 

[Trufflehound]

I call it the "four-sprung duck technique."

 

[Mendoza]

A skeleton walks into a bar......asks for a pint...........and a mop

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

A man sits on someone elses seat at West Ham, then goes to an internet café to write to NSC about how he lent someone a car jack at the Bournemouth game.

Then Magoo was sacked by a recruitment consultant who now plays for MK Dons.

 

[Trufflehound]

Hey, I've just had a brilliant new idea. Why doesn't someone create a fixtures smiley we can all use when these jokes are repeated? I bet no one's thought of that before.

 

[Frutos]

Hey, I've just had a brilliant new idea. Why doesn't someone create a fixtures smiley we can all use when these jokes are repeated? I bet no one's thought of that before.

Was funnier the first time though.

http://www.northstandchat.biz/showthread.php?s=&threadid=102688

 

[Man of Harveys]

Is it PARMA ham?

 

[Trufflehound]

Is it PARMA ham?

There's a special offer on Serrano this week.

 

[Man of Harveys]

There's a special offer on Serrano this week.

Interesting...so who's washing their hands and giving us all a wank?

 

[Trufflehound]

Interesting...so who's washing their hands and giving us all a wank?

Only £7.50 this week. Did you bring the soap?

 

[Buzzer]

Is it PARMA ham?

Yes, yes it is.