FALMER POND - the poem!

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attila

1997 Club
Jul 17, 2003
2,278
South Central Southwick
FALMER POND.......


Upon approach, the stench of foetid mud.
If, undeterred, you head towards this place
Mosquito clouds fly up into your face:
A vampire squadron, hungry for your blood.
And then you see the rats. Their gimlet eyes
Bore through you, as if sizing up their prey.
But they are full: they have a meal today.
A local dog has just met its demise.
It decomposes while they gnaw its flesh.
Diseased and dying ducks are all around
Choking on the used condoms that they’ve found
Their scab-encrusted feet caught in a mesh
Of rusting supermarket trolleys. Worse!
A host of bats (protected species, these)
Each carrying a different foul disease
Rises on stinking wings to spread a curse
Across the innocent East Sussex sky.
A chill runs down your spine, the message clear.
Abandon hope, all those who enter here:
This is a place where creatures come to die.
Then, from the shadows, awful shapes creep forth.
Pale, hideous forms, by putrefaction scarred:
With querulous moans of ‘not in my back yard!’
The zombie hordes of Falmer Village North......!


But, Mr. Prescott, you are stout of heart.
You knocked that deadly Welsh egg thrower down
And didn’t let the crap canoeist drown.
We know your courage: you will play your part.
Outstanding Natural Beauty there will be
Next to that awful breeding place for flies.
So give the word, and we will claim our prize:
A Stadium for the City by the Sea.



ATTILA THE STOCKBROKER
 






itszamora

Go Jazz Go
Sep 21, 2003
7,282
London
:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

You make it sound like the middle of the amazon or something! Having said that I don't think I've ever been to the village itself so your description is probably pretty accurate
 
















Scotty Mac

New member
Jul 13, 2003
24,405
excellent:clap2: :clap2:
 




SussexSpur

New member
Jan 24, 2004
1,696
Finchley
Top stuff.
Have to admit, I wasn't that impressed by the one that was in The Argus the other day.
(Why do I imagine the word "Bothered" being uttered by all and sundry. . .? :) )

But this one - lovely stuff. :clap2:
 








Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,782
Location Location
attila said:
But, Mr. Prescott, you are stout of heart.
You knocked that deadly Welsh egg thrower down
And didn’t let the crap canoeist drown.
My favourite bit. Good stuff Atilla :clap:
 




Lady Whistledown

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
48,588
:clap2: :clap2:

"and didn't let the crap canoeist drown" :lolol:

Genius.
 




Titanic

Super Moderator
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
40,403
West Sussex
attila said:
Then, from the shadows, awful shapes creep forth.
Pale, hideous forms, by putrefaction scarred:
With querulous moans of ‘not in my back yard!’
The zombie hordes of Falmer Village North......!

Love it !!! :clap2:
 


Dave the OAP

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
47,237
at home
Good poem. Although slightly unfair on the Pond as it has been local govenrment ( council etc) that has let the pond go to rack and ruin...along with Sunday afternoon trippers allowing their children to chuck great lumps of bread into the pond for the ducks, thereby attracting rats!! ( I used to do this too)

In my days of youth ( before the war) I studied Falmer and the surrounding area for my history courses.

Did you know that Falmer Church and the lands around it, which are currently farmed, were "given" to Anne of Cleves by Henry V111?

Does anyone remember "Fred" the swann who lived on Falmer Pond. One of my fellow pupils from Falmer School was perstering the poor thing and it hit him with its wing and broke his arm

:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:
 




attila

1997 Club
Jul 17, 2003
2,278
South Central Southwick
Thanks everyone! I have sent it to the Argus..be interesting to see if they print it
(doubt if they will...)

The Nimbys have done a video to proclaim the 'beauty' of the dump, haven't they?
How about 'Falmer Pond - the Horror Video'.. Need a bit of help with the cast though. We have a pet rat ( he's not very scary though) and a snake....anyone got a few bats and a dead dog? The Falmer zombies could play themselves!
 




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