Falmer on 6-0-6

[El Presidente]

Caller 1 " I would like to plead with fans from other clubs to support our campaign in relation to John Prescott approving the stadium at Falmer"

Alan Green " I am sorry to hear that, but we have more important matters tonight as my main concern is who wears the best looking headband at Old Trafford, I used to prefer Ruud Van Nistelrooy, but now am torn between Diego Forlan and Ronanldo, text 85058 now with your views "

Caller 2 " I am a Hull City fan and we are lending our full support to Brighton's new stadium. The KCC stadium has made a huge difference.."

Alan Green " Sorry to interrupt, but there is hot news coming from Manchester, rumour has it that Sir Alex Ferguson has gone for the crispy duck in his main course at the Lucky Wok takeaway, how do listeners feel about that and the implications for the big match against Smegma Budapest in the third qualifying round of the Non Champions League next Tuesday?"

Caller 3 " We all hate the Albion at Palace, but we don't want to see them go out of business, even at Selhurst we want them to be given a new ground to play in......"

Susan Bookbinder " I must butt in. We have just had a text from the Man U megastore in Wakefield with terrible news as they have run out of Eric Djemba-Djemba duvet covers. They have asked us to put out an SOS to the nearest store in Rotherham to supply more to Wakefield"

Caller 4 " Every community deserves a stadium, we are all bricks in the same wall....."

Alan Green " I am sorry I have no idea what you are talking about, I was reading Wes Brown's autobiography the other day and it was fascinating, apparently when he was at school, he used to eat peanut butter sandwiches EVERY Tuesday, and marmalade on alternate Thursdays, it's available at all good bookstores price £15.99. And it's got a crazy title "Wes Brown, my autobiography" written by Greg Dyke and with a foreward by Bez out of the Happy Mondays. Once you pick it up you can't put it down until you have read all 27 pages"

Caller 5 " Can I wish Brighton good luck"

Alan Green " No you can't, we are now going over to Mark Lawrenson for his views on Liverpools unlucky defeat to St Winfred's school Under 12's team in the Cheshire inter schools cup competition"

Mark Lawrenson (in slightly fey Alan Bennett style voice) " I think this could be the turning point in Liverpools season, they can now concentrate on coming 17th in the Premiership, which under new UEFA rules will guarantee them a place in Europe next season, I once nearly joined Manchester United in 1981, when I was playing for a team on the South Coast whose name I can't remember, but I felt that the competition for places would be too great for me, with world class players such as Jim Holton, Kevin Moran and Arthur Albiston all competing for places in the back four"

Caller 6 " Are the BBC not ignoring smaller clubs in order to slavishly report only about Manches....."

Alan Green " Bye. We now must go across to Susan for a traffic report"

Susan Bookbinder " There are serious jams on the M6 and M25 going south all the way to Guildford from Manchester following todays exhibition match between Manchester United and a Leper Colony in Mozambique. United are trying to crack the important Mozambique market, and to celebrate the match Nike have brought out a new United kit in Lilac and Green hoops, to acknowledge the opposition the shirts only have one arm in them"

Alan Green " And thats all we have time for, tomorrow the show will be broadcast from Roy Keane's arsehole, which Spooney is currently cleaning with his tongue. Final results on the text vote, Christiano Ronaldo wins the best headband vote, next week it will be on whose should be the face of the Man United toilet duck, Tim Howard or Nicky Butt"

(is this ok, or do you want it emailed?)

 

[Turkey]

Great stuff. Although to be fair, they have given us some decent coverage haven't they?

This fanzine is looking pretty good content wise imo.

 

[El Presidente]

Mark Chapman has been great. Alan Green, however, has been an arse

 

[Turkey]

Ah okay.

 

[Virgo's Haircut]

Now, that is superb. You are a genius!

 

[El Presidente]

Clearly not funny enough to make the printed edition though. I am now officially seeing my arse and taking my ball home with me. Was it too libellous, boring, lacking in wit or has the editor got a secret vendetta against me because I once got Neil McNab's autograph? At least J.K. Rowling will be able to sleep soundly in her bed at night in the knowledge that a fladgling writing career has been crushed and my ambitions are now as aimless as a David Lee cross

 

[Lady Bracknell]

All I can say, El Pres, is that is a brilliant piece of work that should have been included. But I have been working - as sub-editor - on what I thought was the finished item. Unfortunately, when you posted this I was AWOL from North Stand Chat doing pantomime and hadn't expected to be involved in the fanzine. Hence not seeing this until tonight and realising that you've been done an injustice by its omission. If there was anything I could do to rectify this - short of offering to have the first-born children of the printer - I would do it but I doubt that I can this late on.

 

[Turkey]

Oh bugger!

It must have slipped through the net.

 

[El Presidente]

If we do get Falmer, don't let Richie organise the celebratory trip to a brewery

 

[Brighton Breezy]

Thats a bit harsh. I asked people to email me their articles, had load sof replies, this was not one of them. Am sorry for not putting it in but had so much emailed I didnt look any further.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother with the amount of stick I get..

 

[Turkey]

What happend to F.G's piece?

 

[Brighton Breezy]

FGs piece was the next to go in if we had some room. It wasnt really Falmer related so got put to the back of the pile, it was about tony adams.

 

[Turkey]

Ok. Does he know that it isn't included? Only polite to let him know.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but it does looks as if we could easily have had another 4 pages - which would have been at a minimal cost. When I produced Brighton Rockz, we only discounted truly dire stuff - and there were contributions that qualified for this harsh judgement - but everything else was included on the basis that people rarely write something twice. Especially when they've written something good that appears to have been rejected out of hand. Obviously there are limits to the size of the mag based on ability to meet the prodution costs but this is where serious time spent on the dark arts of design & layout pays off. And it's usually better to start on the assumption that everything gets included and a second editorial decision made to leave things out when it's clear that you are trying to get a quart into a pint pot. A pint pot which is going to overflow no matter how much magic you try and work on the layout.

Like I said, hindsight is a great thing but fanzines are always easier to plan than to produce and we found that a collective editorial team meant that we picked up each other's natural ability to forget stuff! Because nobody is perfect. However, being the editor of a fanzine is never going to win anyone popularity and you've just had the first taste, Richie, of what it feels like when the inevitable "pear-shaped" moment comes along.

And if producing a fanzine was a feast of fun there'd be an issue of Brighton Rockz on sale just outside the South Stand every month!!

At the end of the day this one is a very good mag and it'll sell. No great tragedies will result from these omissions. But useful lessons have probably been learnt about how it would be done again. Which,for anyone planning to work in any branch of the media/publishing industry is a lesson best learnt with a fanzine and not in front of an intolerant employer! Because, trust me, this is a world where intolerance comes as naturally as breathing!

 

[Turkey]

I've PM'd F.G.

 

[Turkey]

BOUNCE

Richie, you said on the main board you couldn't find this??

It was on page 2 of the Fanzine Forum

 

[Kryten]

just read it. Really funny, that must be put in it.

 

[Brighton Breezy]

Cheers.