Road improvements at Brighton and Hove Albion's proposed new stadium at Falmer are similar to those first proposed, the public inquiry was told.
Traffic expert Mark Leigh said dualling part of Village Way and adding a roundabout to its junction with the B2123 would hardly alter the project, apart from a 60 foot inflatable model of David Bellotti touching his toes for Bill Archer in a scene originally derived from the film 'Deliverance'. This was one of the conditions laid down by Brighton University following extended negotiations with the Albion. The winning design came from an Industrial Needlework and Media Studies undergraduate, Miss Sharon Djemba-Djemba, who is a first year student following her two grade F 'A' levels and Cylcling Proficiency badge she achieved at 6th form college.
Club witness Mr Leigh said the mini-roundabout would benefit the stadium project, as well as frightening birds who ate local farmers crops, and the University of Brighton was content with the new road proposals.
Robert White, representing Lewes District Council, one of the chief objectors, said the club had earlier insisted road works of the type now proposed were not needed. He stated that speed bumps were necessary to reduce the danger of football fans accelerating away from the stadium through Lewes. Fortunately local celebrity slapper Jordan said that she was normally in a horizontal position on most days, and would be prepared to lie down on the A27 both before and after matches providing her own version of speed bumps.
He said the council did not accept the improvements were minor work and they had only been put forward to ensure the university's support. When asked what he would consider as a 'minor' adjustment, he showed the inspector a note from his mum excusing him from being asked awkward questions, and would it be ok if he were excused from PE lessons as the other witnesses as the Enquiry pointed at his knobbly knees in the changing rooms.
Mr White was then cross-examined by the Albions new barrister, Roy Keane, the former Irish football captain. " You're a shite councillor, and before that you were a shite postman, take that you
"
Keane then drop kicked White in the testicles and chopped his head off with a chainsaw. Unfortunately the only witness still awake at this part of the proceedings, a Mr A Ferguson of Trafford, said that he did not see anything as he was busy adjusting his stopwatch at the time.
The road proposals are also opposed by organisations such as Falmer Parish Council, the Sussex Downs Conservation Board and Al-Qaieda, the international terrorist organisation on the grounds that Falmer already looked as if it had been hit by a bomb so it would save them work in future years.
Planning inspector John Collyer expects to send his report to Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott before the end of the year. Prezza has now worked his way up to the letter 'G' in his intensive reading lessons with Big Bird from Sesame Street, and had asked for the stadium to be referred to as the "Fagged Cad" when reading the report to make things easier.
Traffic expert Mark Leigh said dualling part of Village Way and adding a roundabout to its junction with the B2123 would hardly alter the project, apart from a 60 foot inflatable model of David Bellotti touching his toes for Bill Archer in a scene originally derived from the film 'Deliverance'. This was one of the conditions laid down by Brighton University following extended negotiations with the Albion. The winning design came from an Industrial Needlework and Media Studies undergraduate, Miss Sharon Djemba-Djemba, who is a first year student following her two grade F 'A' levels and Cylcling Proficiency badge she achieved at 6th form college.
Club witness Mr Leigh said the mini-roundabout would benefit the stadium project, as well as frightening birds who ate local farmers crops, and the University of Brighton was content with the new road proposals.
Robert White, representing Lewes District Council, one of the chief objectors, said the club had earlier insisted road works of the type now proposed were not needed. He stated that speed bumps were necessary to reduce the danger of football fans accelerating away from the stadium through Lewes. Fortunately local celebrity slapper Jordan said that she was normally in a horizontal position on most days, and would be prepared to lie down on the A27 both before and after matches providing her own version of speed bumps.
He said the council did not accept the improvements were minor work and they had only been put forward to ensure the university's support. When asked what he would consider as a 'minor' adjustment, he showed the inspector a note from his mum excusing him from being asked awkward questions, and would it be ok if he were excused from PE lessons as the other witnesses as the Enquiry pointed at his knobbly knees in the changing rooms.
Mr White was then cross-examined by the Albions new barrister, Roy Keane, the former Irish football captain. " You're a shite councillor, and before that you were a shite postman, take that you
"Keane then drop kicked White in the testicles and chopped his head off with a chainsaw. Unfortunately the only witness still awake at this part of the proceedings, a Mr A Ferguson of Trafford, said that he did not see anything as he was busy adjusting his stopwatch at the time.
The road proposals are also opposed by organisations such as Falmer Parish Council, the Sussex Downs Conservation Board and Al-Qaieda, the international terrorist organisation on the grounds that Falmer already looked as if it had been hit by a bomb so it would save them work in future years.
Planning inspector John Collyer expects to send his report to Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott before the end of the year. Prezza has now worked his way up to the letter 'G' in his intensive reading lessons with Big Bird from Sesame Street, and had asked for the stadium to be referred to as the "Fagged Cad" when reading the report to make things easier.
