Ex has moved on.

[Uncle Spielberg]

I have heard today through a mutual friend my ex has found someone else 3 months after we split. I am finding this all hard to handle. I have been living in a time warp and still think of her everyday. I know it is not healthy. I just seem to be in a loop and have been for ages. Her friend says she is happy and likes the guy. What can I do to get myself back on track ?.

I knew she would not take long to find someone else but the 4 years we were together seems a total waste of time and I am back at square one.

My self esteem and self confidence is at rock bottom. I at the age of 47 cannot see a way forward.

It took a huge effort 5 years ago when my marriage ended to get myself out of my pit and get out there.

This is a big hit but one I knew was coming as she was to me gorgeous and this is the moment I have been dreading.

Anyone else been through this and can give me some advice ?.

 

[windowlicker]

go searching for better things shit happens. On the plus side if your single you have more money

 

[Philzo-93]

Deirdre says: Agreed, it can be hard moving on when you find yourself in these difficult situations but take it day-by-day. Do stuff that makes you feel good about yourself, take up a hobby maybe or consider just socialising with a few mates? My leaflet on "So your ex has moved on" should help into guiding your way


In all seriousness, I'm 16, love-life shit but i don't let that get me down, get on with your life mate, it's all we can do.

The longer we dwell on our misfortunes , the greater its power it is to harm us.

 

[The Wizard]

Seriously mate, I know you've had a rough time but you really need to sort yourself out. Easy for me to say I know but do you not feel at the point where you need to pull yourself out of the spiral? Do something to motivate yourself and get yourself outside!!

 

[Ernest]

Start training for the marathon

 

[The Peanut Roaster]

Lower your standards to rock bottom and go with anything.

Worked for me, except my mate Kev won't talk to me anymore

 

[wigman]

You have to remain positive and think of all the good things in your life.
Life has many twists and turns and it seems to you at present that the chips are down,keep your head held high mate and the good times will soon return.

 

[seagullsdaz]

Plenty more fish in the sea mate

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Single? Meet and chat with other singles looking for love - Free registration

...honestly. A friend of mine has used/is using them and apparently is finding several potentials. She is very choosy.

 

[Meade's Ball]

As cruel as it sounds, in some way this is good news. Not for me of course, but for you in terms of simply stopping thinking about her and wishing for another chance, if that's what you do. She's moved on and you have to take this as a nudge for you to do the same.
Moving on is not moving into the arms of someone else, but knowing you can get by without. And you shall, before tentatively finding someone new.

I had some thoughts recently. You know, since the accident thing, i'd longed and then semi-longed to be the man i was just before it, as bloated and sometimes creative as i was, with the same toolbox of blunted chisels and crackable hammers and rusty pins as i'd felt i had before. But attached to that was the image of me and my life then, uneventful and unspectacular as it was, being perfect. And that included the girlfriend i had at the time. I didn't consciously wish for her back, but my way of getting better somehow meant replicating that life i had, and her being there. We'd split, of course, inacrimoniously. Anyway, i was on facebook the other day when i saw her face there and wanted to look. She and i had chatted somewhat since splitting still and whilst there was no direct closeness she was dutybound to keep track of me despite me being with someone else then. I looked in her photo album briefly, which is generally a silly thing to do with ex's, and saw her with a new man. I thought i might crumple when viewing such a thing, but i didn't. I purely smiled at her merryment and without saying so wished her the best. Of course it took away that picture of what perfection might have been like as i'd loved her dearly and wanted to relive those feelings of depth and desperation, but seeing her in the slightest happy was far better and failed to crush me even slightly.
It was the memories of her i loved more than her over time. The two differ and recognising this mattered and helped.
People and what you remember of them are never the same.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

go searching for better things shit happens. On the plus side if your single you have more money

I have no money. My career is in tatters. I am 47. She was far better looking than me. Its far easier for Women. I am in a state. The facts are I am surplus to requirements now. The news today althoug inevitable still is a knife in the heart and so soon. She was on her own for 3 years after her last relationship. What does that say.

 

[Mackenzie]

You need to give it more time, and try to find a distraction. Ernest's suggestion is good. Keep fighting.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

You have to remain positive and think of all the good things in your life.
Life has many twists and turns and it seems to you at present that the chips are down,keep your head held high mate and the good times will soon return.

the thing is mate I have NO positives in my life anymore. I am really in meltdown.

 

[Whitterz]

Life is too short to think "oh what might have been..."

Pull your finger out, get out there and enjoy every minute of it.

If its women that you so desperately seek, then let her go looking for you, NOT vice versa.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Single? Meet and chat with other singles looking for love - Free registration

...honestly. A friend of mine has used/is using them and apparently is finding several potentials. She is very choosy.

I can't be arsed with that. The facts are single women will not go for my profile.

 

[empire]

spend less time on here,and more time getting yourself together,shit happens, i know been there and done it,try and move on,remember the good times but think of the future,remember your no1

 

[Whitterz]

the thing is mate I have NO positives in my life anymore. I am really in meltdown.

Its called a midlife crisis.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Not really.

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

Is there an Ethiopian aids orphan we can get in here to explain to US what he has going for him?