Essex Girl Joke

[The Wookiee]

A train hits a busload of Essex Schoolgirls and they all perish.

They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.

St Peter asks the girl from Southend, "Karen, have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger St. Peter says,

"OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."

St. Peter asks the girl from Chelmsford the same question, "Joanne have
you ever had any contact with a mans thing ?" The girl is a little reluctant but replies
"Well once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says "OK, dip your
whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, and
the girl from Basildon is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she
reaches the front of the line St. Peter says "Tracy! What seems to be
the rush?"

The girl replies... "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy water...I want
to do it before Lorraine sticks her arse in it!!"

 

[Juan Albion]

Damn, thought this was going to be about Watford O.

 

[perth seagull]

I heard this joke along time ago, except that it was a group of nuns.

 

[Hungry Joe.]

There's this Essex girl driving home to Romford (or where ever it is they live) and she gets a call on her mobile from her boyfriend saying "better be careful babe, just had a report of a car driving the wrong way down the A(whatever)" and she replies "One! There's fuckin hundreds of 'em babe".