closest you've got to death?
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Nobb Holder
New member
Celebrating the end of term at university in December '97, my colleagues and I went on a huge bender. Christopher Biggins was in panto so we went on the piss in Brighton instead. After zooming down North Road in a shopping trolley and playing football with anything spherical our fantastically inebriated group arrived at Preston Circus. A container lorry was at the lights and 5 of us hopped on the back.
The intelligent members of the party hopped off again on the green light and muggins stayed on waving like a plum. As it was 3 in the morning the driver floored it and I had to make a very fast deicision. Stay on to the next traffic lights or jump?
I dangled off the back and tried in vain to 'run' with the vehicle. Needless to say it didn't work and I stacked it. Landed on my head, and bounced along on my hip and collar bone.
My 'mates' had disappeared by this point and some bloke picked me up and dumped me in a shop doorway with the unforgettable line 'ere are mate, have some Tango that'll sort you out!'
The doctor's prodding my collar bone in hospital a few days later to ascertain the damage when it moves! f*** did that hurt. I screamed the ward down.
I fell down an escalator at Angel tube a few weeks later and smashed up me leg. Yep, that's right, I was f***ing battered!
The intelligent members of the party hopped off again on the green light and muggins stayed on waving like a plum. As it was 3 in the morning the driver floored it and I had to make a very fast deicision. Stay on to the next traffic lights or jump?
I dangled off the back and tried in vain to 'run' with the vehicle. Needless to say it didn't work and I stacked it. Landed on my head, and bounced along on my hip and collar bone.
My 'mates' had disappeared by this point and some bloke picked me up and dumped me in a shop doorway with the unforgettable line 'ere are mate, have some Tango that'll sort you out!'
The doctor's prodding my collar bone in hospital a few days later to ascertain the damage when it moves! f*** did that hurt. I screamed the ward down.
I fell down an escalator at Angel tube a few weeks later and smashed up me leg. Yep, that's right, I was f***ing battered!
alan partridge
Active member
Nobb Holder said:
My 'mates' had disappeared by this point and some bloke picked me up and dumped me in a shop doorway with the unforgettable line 'ere are mate, have some Tango that'll sort you out!'
was he a qualified gp?cheshunt seagull
Well-known member
- Jul 5, 2003
- 2,687
Driving on a road outside Moscow in 1976. Our car hit a patch of ice, skidded, hit a wall of snow and ice at the edge of the road and spun back. A bus had hit the same patch and was hurtling out of control towards the car and seemed sure to hit. It missed the car by a couple of feet and spun to a halt further down the road. Would have crushed the car if it had hit. It all seemed to happen in slow motion and it didn't really sink in until a couple of hours later, and I can relate to the feelig of detachment whilst it was happening that others have mentioned.
ate a whole bottle of junior disprin when I was 3 . . ..ambulance, smacking me to keep me awake, stomach pump, and they though I might have buggered my kidneys, but I survived . . . .to eat 8 bananas in one go when I was about 4 . . .dont remember that making me sick
came a blue rizla from a head on in a Lotus elise a few years ago . . . .dip in the road, looked flat, floored it past a Lada, then wham, another ca coming the otherway, I stamped on the anchors, locked the front right up, smoke bellowing, managed to tuck inside the lada just in time, shat me pants, I was shaking like a leaf . . . .the guy whos car it was was in the passenger seat, he shat himself too . . . .funnily enough he complemented me on my reactions, and still has every faith in my driving ability . . . .he must be mad
came a blue rizla from a head on in a Lotus elise a few years ago . . . .dip in the road, looked flat, floored it past a Lada, then wham, another ca coming the otherway, I stamped on the anchors, locked the front right up, smoke bellowing, managed to tuck inside the lada just in time, shat me pants, I was shaking like a leaf . . . .the guy whos car it was was in the passenger seat, he shat himself too . . . .funnily enough he complemented me on my reactions, and still has every faith in my driving ability . . . .he must be mad
T
Telscombe Seagull
Guest
Heart Attack, age 26, Last year scary shit!
berkshire seagull
New member
climbed up a cliff in ibiza pissed as hell and went to jump into 4ft of water until someone shouted thank god.
Got run over aged 5 and died for 3 mins but came back
On the m3 on way to brighton last time a few week ago and some prick put his breaks on and was doing 90mph and missed him by a foot and looked in my mirror to see several cars swerving and shite loads of smoke grrrrrr very close.
Got run over aged 5 and died for 3 mins but came back
On the m3 on way to brighton last time a few week ago and some prick put his breaks on and was doing 90mph and missed him by a foot and looked in my mirror to see several cars swerving and shite loads of smoke grrrrrr very close.
Shizuoka Dolphin
NSC M0DERATOR
Nobb Holder said:
I'm glad you laughed at it, because i just did - epscially the bit about the Tango!