Bell Cheeses at work

[schmunk]

Has anyone else noticed the phrase "piece of work" as being a really annoying bit of corporate speak that has grown in popularity over the last couple of years?

 

[erkan]

Yes, that is exactly what I now think about people using this phrase for their latest important project...

 

[Fignon's Ponytail]

Our BC is the gift that keeps on giving.
Came in to work today angry that his car tyre had a screw in it when he left work last night & got a puncture - but is insisting that someone here at work put it there on purpose, and wants the boss to go through the CCTV footage to see who it was.
Boss has told him he doesn't have time to sit through 10hrs of film, so will try to put it on a disk for BC to watch at home (is that even allowed with GDPR?)

The guy has gone total fruit loop & living in Cuckooland.

 

[beorhthelm]

Our BC is the gift that keeps on giving.
Came in to work today angry that his car tyre had a screw in it when he left work last night & got a puncture - but is insisting that someone here at work put it there on purpose, and wants the boss to go through the CCTV footage to see who it was.
Boss has told him he doesn't have time to sit through 10hrs of film, so will try to put it on a disk for BC to watch at home (is that even allowed with GDPR?)

The guy has gone total fruit loop & living in Cuckooland.

no, and surprised the Boss didnt tell him to fudge off on this basis,

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

I have tried to google the following but am still none the wiser.

During a work conference call between myself, a colleague and an external party yesterday, I was “constructively” challenged over some of the content of a report I had produced. I explained the reasoning and logic to my comments which appeared to be accepted by the other party with the comment, ok, “That’s native”.

Anyone know what this means?!

 

[timbha]

I have tried to google the following but am still none the wiser.

During a work conference call between myself, a colleague and an external party yesterday, I was “constructively” challenged over some of the content of a report I had produced. I explained the reasoning and logic to my comments which appeared to be accepted by the other party with the comment, ok, “That’s native”.

Anyone know what this means?!

Similar to “a load of bollox” perhaps??

 

[Change at Barnham]

I have tried to google the following but am still none the wiser.

During a work conference call between myself, a colleague and an external party yesterday, I was “constructively” challenged over some of the content of a report I had produced. I explained the reasoning and logic to my comments which appeared to be accepted by the other party with the comment, ok, “That’s native”.

Anyone know what this means?!

Clearly grounds for an enquiry as it could be construed as racist. Best flag it up to HR for their best Bell Cheese to get their teeth into.

 

[Pondicherry]

Not really a bell cheese story but an amusing incident in our office the other day. I work in a secure area (because of the data not because we are a danger to the public) and to get into our area you need to ring a bell outside the door and then be beeped in via a remote (unless your pass lets you into our area) by someone inside.

Anyway there are some people who work in our area who have not been security cleared yet so their passes don't let them in or out so they have to be beeped in and out.

The other day the remote beeper was all the way down the other end of the office (I don't like it anywhere near me as I it means constantly beeping people in and out). A newbie (I presume) beeped the beeper and then jogged the 30 yards to the door by which time the door had reset and locked. Undeterred he walked back, beeped again and then ran slightly faster to try and make the door before it locked again. He failed. Still undeterred he had a third go, this time at full sprint through the office but alas was still too slow. I should point out that this bloke was on the larger side so some considerable effort was required on his part.

When I was able to stop laughing I suggested that he bring the remote with him, beep it whilst at the door and then leave it on the desk by the door. He was so happy when he got out. I think he needed the toilet.

 

[Badger]

Not really a bell cheese story but an amusing incident in our office the other day. I work in a secure area (because of the data not because we are a danger to the public) and to get into our area you need to ring a bell outside the door and then be beeped in via a remote (unless your pass lets you into our area) by someone inside.

Anyway there are some people who work in our area who have not been security cleared yet so their passes don't let them in or out so they have to be beeped in and out.

The other day the remote beeper was all the way down the other end of the office (I don't like it anywhere near me as I it means constantly beeping people in and out). A newbie (I presume) beeped the beeper and then jogged the 30 yards to the door by which time the door had reset and locked. Undeterred he walked back, beeped again and then ran slightly faster to try and make the door before it locked again. He failed. Still undeterred he had a third go, this time at full sprint through the office but alas was still too slow. I should point out that this bloke was on the larger side so some considerable effort was required on his part.

When I was able to stop laughing I suggested that he bring the remote with him, beep it whilst at the door and then leave it on the desk by the door. He was so happy when he got out. I think he needed the toilet.

I'd be a bit concerned letting someone with that little intelligence anywhere near secure data.

 

[Pondicherry]

I'd be a bit concerned letting someone with that little intelligence anywhere near secure data.

Good point but its very hard to find anyone who wants to work these day let alone someone who wants to work and has a brain. At least he tried. In addition at least he made it into the office unlike most other staff at our place.

 

[Sirnormangall]

I have tried to google the following but am still none the wiser.

During a work conference call between myself, a colleague and an external party yesterday, I was “constructively” challenged over some of the content of a report I had produced. I explained the reasoning and logic to my comments which appeared to be accepted by the other party with the comment, ok, “That’s native”.

Anyone know what this means?!

Yes, I googled it and it said it means “look at me I’m a pretentious tw*t”

 

[dazzer6666]

No, stopped being used in about 2005 as far as I remember

 

[Badger]

Got this beauty of a work invite today:

Join Terra and Thomas from DieUrbanisten for an interactive workshop on Upcycling. The workshop will illuminate the topic of upcycling from different sides and establishes connections between the buzzwords sustainability, organic & fair, as well as recycling and waste prevention.

During the workshop, you will have the opportunity to make a keyring. All you need is 2 bottle caps, 1 bicycle tube with a small hole in it, 1.5 cm long piece of cork, 20 cm cable remnant, 1 pair of scissors. We will record the session so you can revisit the video later should you not have these items at hand (after all, upcycling only makes sense if we use leftovers for it! )


I'm so happy we got bought by an American company

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

Got this beauty of a work invite today:

Join Terra and Thomas from DieUrbanisten for an interactive workshop on Upcycling. The workshop will illuminate the topic of upcycling from different sides and establishes connections between the buzzwords sustainability, organic & fair, as well as recycling and waste prevention.

During the workshop, you will have the opportunity to make a keyring. All you need is 2 bottle caps, 1 bicycle tube with a small hole in it, 1.5 cm long piece of cork, 20 cm cable remnant, 1 pair of scissors. We will record the session so you can revisit the video later should you not have these items at hand (after all, upcycling only makes sense if we use leftovers for it! )


I'm so happy we got bought by an American company

Ok, you need to explain the bicycle tube requirement for the key ring please!

 

[Badger]

Ok, you need to explain the bicycle tube requirement for the key ring please!

That would require me to attend. I think we all know that isn't going to happen.

Also, who has old inner tubes just lying around?

 

[The Fifth Column]

I read about 'collecting information in granular form' in a work communication today, no idea what it means and no desire to know either. Bags of sugar??

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

That would require me to attend. I think we all know that isn't going to happen.

Also, who has old inner tubes just lying around?

For the sake of the planet you really do need to attend that workshop. Think of the children .

 

[Badger]

For the sake of the planet you really do need to attend that workshop. Think of the children .

My friend has suggested the addition of alcohol would improve the event greatly. What could possibly go wrong at 11am on a Wednesday?

 

[dazzer6666]

Got this beauty of a work invite today:

Join Terra and Thomas from DieUrbanisten for an interactive workshop on Upcycling. The workshop will illuminate the topic of upcycling from different sides and establishes connections between the buzzwords sustainability, organic & fair, as well as recycling and waste prevention.

During the workshop, you will have the opportunity to make a keyring. All you need is 2 bottle caps, 1 bicycle tube with a small hole in it, 1.5 cm long piece of cork, 20 cm cable remnant, 1 pair of scissors. We will record the session so you can revisit the video later should you not have these items at hand (after all, upcycling only makes sense if we use leftovers for it! )


I'm so happy we got bought by an American company

Bottle caps ? I wouldn’t go on Health and Safety grounds - been repeatedly told how dangerous they can be.

 

[Fignon's Ponytail]

Also, who has old inner tubes just lying around?

*slowly puts hand up....