[Sussex] Artisan, Shoreham

[The Clamp]

I could never get along with Tom Foolery.

Always looked half finished. Especially down the back end. Looked like a squat.

Food was okay but way over priced.

Feel sorry for the owners and staff but it does go to show, having an ironic moustache and wearing vintage aprons does not guarantee success.

 

[The Clamp]

Tom foolery is closed. I always use Hector's. Unpretentious, but limited menu, great staff. Great coffee. I can virtually get away with murder in there ! I normally ask for lobster, or kangaroo steaks. They served me up a plastic lobster the other day ! What brilliant customer service.

Yes I like Hectors. It’s a tad small and can feel rather like you’re sharing the table with a stranger at busy times.

Which of course is fine if they’re clean and possess acceptable table manners

Unfortunately, I seem to invariably find myself next to rather large seated ladies with calamitous spatial awareness, a total lack of the concept of other people, and the table manners of a working class hippopotamus.

 

[CheeseRolls]

Yes I like Hectors. It’s a tad small and can feel rather like you’re sharing the table with a stranger at busy times.

Which of course is fine if they’re clean and possess acceptable table manners

Unfortunately, I seem to invariably find myself next to rather large seated ladies with calamitous spatial awareness, a total lack of the concept of other people, and the table manners of a working class hippopotamus.

Cue 1970's style Mother-in-law joke.