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jonnyrovers

mostly tinpot
Aug 13, 2013
1,178
Shoreham-by-Sea
Ate asparagus at lunch.

Completely forgot.

Went to the loo.

Pungent piddle, mild confusion, moment of clarity as I remember, followed by total confusion as to how the heck it happens.

Can also be experienced with strong coffee (smells like rice krispies), beetroot (looks like Ribena), Berroca (orange syrup).

This is what it has come to. I've completed Netflix & Prime. The international break was boring as hell. I can't bear The News.

Anyone got any more I can try?
 


Poojah

Members
Nov 19, 2010
1,783
Leeds
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stool, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness might be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.
 

Jim Van Winkle

Members
Jul 14, 2010
3,119
Hawaii
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stools, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness may be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.

Remember the colour wheel. Sounds like she mixed in some yellow.
 

darkwolf666

Members
Nov 8, 2015
7,568
Sittingbourne, Kent
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stools, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness may be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.

Now we are on little one's bums!

Changed my little one's nappy and found what I thought was a tape worm, split second of panic, then remembered he eats his towel after a bath and was poohing out threads from that...

Oh the joys of caring for a child with pica!
 

Poojah

Members
Nov 19, 2010
1,783
Leeds
Now we are on little one's bums!

Changed my little one's nappy and found what I thought was a tape worm, split second of panic, then remembered he eats his towel after a bath and was poohing out threads from that...

Oh the joys of caring for a child with pica!

I don’t know very much about pica, and I’m really not sure about laughing, but that did trigger a genuine LOL. :lolol:
 

Mr Bridger

Sound of the suburbs
Feb 25, 2013
3,232
Earth
If we’re talking arses then we need natures toothbrush, or the projectile of choice for the casual during the 80’s.

559BBB74-D0A6-4AE0-A3A6-C8D833750724.jpeg
 


WATFORD zero

Members
Jul 10, 2003
21,989
Now we are on little one's bums!

Changed my little one's nappy and found what I thought was a tape worm, split second of panic, then remembered he eats his towel after a bath and was poohing out threads from that...

Oh the joys of caring for a child with pica!

Once had a cat that had eaten the string from a Sunday joint and ran round the kitchen with that hanging out it's arse. No real stories about the kids that I can remember :shrug:
 
Apr 5, 2019
2,592
What about Johnny Eck, lived to the age of 80 with no bladder, genitalia or arse. How is that even possible? To quote his Wikipedia page “Apart from having no lower half, he was otherwise completely healthy”

Johnny-Eck-signed.jpg
 

METALMICKY

Members
Jan 30, 2004
4,856
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stool, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness might be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.

The same colourant used in bubble gum flavour ice cream will produce a slimy green stool.
 

Knocky's Nose

Mon nez est in 'Uddersfield
May 7, 2017
3,975
Eastbourne
I can eat a bowl of Sugar Puffs, then around three hours later my pee smells exactly like Sugar Puffs. I have zero idea why... :shrug:

I no longer eat Sugar Puffs.
 


zefarelly

Members
Jul 7, 2003
19,517
Sussex, by the sea
Once had a cat that had eaten the string from a Sunday joint and ran round the kitchen with that hanging out it's arse. No real stories about the kids that I can remember :shrug:

Over 20 years ago visiting my brother on a farm in Kent, there was a dog , had eaten some crap our of a bag of rubbish apparently, kept licking its arse . . .. someone spotted something sticking out . . . . A bit of plastic . . . Someone got the dog and tugeed, and tugged . . . .and tugged . . . . A complete carrier bag! The dog didn't half pull some funny faces :lolol:

First day we got our dog from the rescue place he laid an egg in the back garden, resplendant with a shiny blue button in it. Flouro tennis ball fluff ued to be a common sight too
 

WATFORD zero

Members
Jul 10, 2003
21,989
Over 20 years ago visiting my brother on a farm in Kent, there was a dog , had eaten some crap our of a bag of rubbish apparently, kept licking its arse . . .. someone spotted something sticking out . . . . A bit of plastic . . . Someone got the dog and tugeed, and tugged . . . .and tugged . . . . A complete carrier bag! The dog didn't half pull some funny faces :lolol:

First day we got our dog from the rescue place he laid an egg in the back garden, resplendant with a shiny blue button in it. Flouro tennis ball fluff ued to be a common sight too

In my experience, after many years of trying to raise kids and pets, it is the major difference. The pets output is slightly less predictable :sick:

*edit* And, I forgot, pets are quieter and cost less
 
Last edited:

Dick Swiveller

Members
Sep 9, 2011
8,243
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stool, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness might be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.

I had that in Florida. They did Monsters Inc Ice Cream at McDonalds and the Blue dye did the same to me.
 

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