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[Help] Divorce help
- Thread starter Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms
- Start date
fanseagull
New member
- Dec 18, 2018
- 228
This......
If your ex is keen to avoid paying lmediation fees then she's not seen anything yet when it comes to solicitors fees !!!! Mediation was about £150 a session and took about 4 sessions for me. With solicitors you're looking at over £200 an hour ( remember you will both have a solicitor unlike mediation ) and the bills can run in to thousands each.
We started with a mutual friend sitting down with us and getting the main details down on paper - what we each wanted to do about the house, what we both expected around access to the children, schooling expectations, what would happen to pensions etc. Then you have a good starting point for mediation.
GT49er
Well-known member
The problem is not the solicitor, it's the bloody courts. We had a separation agreement drawn up more than ten years ago; both parties adhered to it scrupulously. We now each have a house, we each have a pension, the kids have grown up and left and we both have some savings. Neither of us wants anything from the other.
That's not good enough for the court to grant a divorce, though. They will not do so until they have received very detailed financial statements (including stuff like the cash value of the pensions we are receiving, the interest on our savings and the value of our houses). We also have to sign to say we have seen the other's financial details, and agree with them. The court will then decide if they think it's fair, or if they want to force us to shuffle assets around to B]their[/B] satisfaction (regardless of our wishes). We're seriously considering telling them to stuff it, and not bother with the formality of a divorce.
That seems very strange - I have the a similar issue at the moment with the ex wanting a consent order and the court haven't granted it ( not that I care ). The divorce itself was easy .... wait five years and it's as good as automatically granted.
GT49er
Well-known member
Yeh, it's not what I expected either - we've lived apart and independently for over ten years, and frankly I don't think anything other than that is any of the court's damn business.
Arthritic Toe
Well-known member
Echo those words already posted - avoid using a solicitor if you possibly can. They will bleed you dry and will attempt to create conflict where there is currently none.
If it is amicable, it is a case of researching what a fair settlement will look like and then making your own agreement along those lines. You can then formalise this into a Consent Order which goes in front of the divorce court. There are various fixed price online services that will put together the Consent Order for you once you have agreed it. I used wikivorce who were very good.
Best of luck,
If it is amicable, it is a case of researching what a fair settlement will look like and then making your own agreement along those lines. You can then formalise this into a Consent Order which goes in front of the divorce court. There are various fixed price online services that will put together the Consent Order for you once you have agreed it. I used wikivorce who were very good.
Best of luck,
Oh yes times are better, it took 2 years from start to finish because the ex wife kept doing everything to delay proceedings. I did my part as quickly as I could so the Judge could not award additional costs.
Just remembered it was CLOCK who helped me free of charge, website below. They will even come into court with you for support. They are brilliant.
http://www.sussex.ac.uk/lps/internal/departments/law/clinical-legal-education/clock
The other thing I did half way through and before CLOCK was to get 30 minutes free legal advice from a Solicitor, this also helped as he told me one of the forms I completed was not the correct form.
Sheebo
Well-known member
- Jul 13, 2003
- 29,287
Been going through this for nearly 2 years now - worst and most stressful time of my life. Dealing with tit for tat rubbish from a nasty person and very poor solicitor is horrible. I have a very good one who is honest and not interested in playing games. If you want his info email me.
Actually got a court date for a months time re the littlen and feeling extremely scared and exhausted. Yet all I’m asking for is the 50/50 care for my daughter we’ve always had. Worst thing is my ex got solicitors involved and then tried to change the childcare arrangements. I’ve lost people in the past as we all have in life but this is a completely different kind of grief and depression. Found it so hard. Sorry to be a downer but feel better typing this. Basically keep it as amicable as you can and use mediation rather than solicitors if you can. Someone using a child as a weapon is absolutely sick and those who do are disgusting people.
Actually got a court date for a months time re the littlen and feeling extremely scared and exhausted. Yet all I’m asking for is the 50/50 care for my daughter we’ve always had. Worst thing is my ex got solicitors involved and then tried to change the childcare arrangements. I’ve lost people in the past as we all have in life but this is a completely different kind of grief and depression. Found it so hard. Sorry to be a downer but feel better typing this. Basically keep it as amicable as you can and use mediation rather than solicitors if you can. Someone using a child as a weapon is absolutely sick and those who do are disgusting people.
Been going through this for nearly 2 years now - worst and most stressful time of my life. Dealing with tit for tat rubbish from a nasty person and very poor solicitor is horrible. I have a very good one who is honest and not interested in playing games. If you want his info email me.
Actually got a court date for a months time re the littlen and feeling extremely scared and exhausted. Yet all I’m asking for is the 50/50 care for my daughter we’ve always had. Worst thing is my ex got solicitors involved and then tried to change the childcare arrangements. I’ve lost people in the past as we all have in life but this is a completely different kind of grief and depression. Found it so hard. Sorry to be a downer but feel better typing this. Basically keep it as amicable as you can and use mediation rather than solicitors if you can. Someone using a child as a weapon is absolutely sick and those who do are disgusting people.
Sorry to hear that, I hope you get what you want. Completely normal emotions. At least you know that you won’t have to spend the rest of your life with that other person.
Love your quality NSC avatar btw.
Try to do a deal dirctly. Solicitors are adversarial. And costly. I have two personal expriences. Mind you if the other party is a nutter, get a solicitor.
Been going through this for nearly 2 years now - worst and most stressful time of my life. Dealing with tit for tat rubbish from a nasty person and very poor solicitor is horrible. I have a very good one who is honest and not interested in playing games. If you want his info email me.
Actually got a court date for a months time re the littlen and feeling extremely scared and exhausted. Yet all I’m asking for is the 50/50 care for my daughter we’ve always had. Worst thing is my ex got solicitors involved and then tried to change the childcare arrangements. I’ve lost people in the past as we all have in life but this is a completely different kind of grief and depression. Found it so hard. Sorry to be a downer but feel better typing this. Basically keep it as amicable as you can and use mediation rather than solicitors if you can. Someone using a child as a weapon is absolutely sick and those who do are disgusting people.
Best wishes. PM me anytime. Love your NSC posts.
Sheebo
Well-known member
- Jul 13, 2003
- 29,287
Thanks both. I’m in a much better relationship now with someone 100 times better for me and have a lot of supportive friends who know and have seen the truth but the hardest thing was sharing my 7 year old for half her life - let alone the recent events of her trying to reduce my time. But I’m confident the truth will always come out and I’ll be completely free once everything is sorted. Whatever happens, my little girl is the most precious thing in my life by a mile and nobody will ever get in the way of our special father daughter relationship. Much love x
Indeed. And my 6 year old (now 33 yar old)....All the best x
Not said in a patronising way - simply tell the truth in legal proceedings, and the judge will warm to that. They really are highly intelligent and can always see through a liar (not you).
It’s healthy that you’re able to communicate your feekings friends and people here. That’ll keep you sane.