Does anyone have mental health problems?

Weststander · Jul 9, 2019

In ACT Therapy (not a quack theory, peddled by scammers in it for the book sales, but a highly respected modern treatment practised by full blown psychologists and some counsellors), gives this reassuring take:

Those we consider to always be ‘happy’ and ‘lucky’, who we put on a pedestal, are actually all part of spectrum. They have ups and downs too. The difference is that they have learned, some possibly without even knowing it, not to be swamped by the never ending wave of negative thoughts or worries hitting our complex minds.

Knowing that alone gives comfort, by ending the unrealistic drive to be as perfectly happy as them.

The second bit of good news is that anyone, with work, can acquire those same (inherent or acquired) techniques, so not allowing the wave of thoughts to control your life.

In summary to answer your question, with work, you can become far happier the vast majority of the time.

JCL666 · Jul 9, 2019

TheJasperCo said:
Thought I'd bounce this thread. Like other posters on here in recent days, I've gone through a protracted phase of personal trouble. It's reassuring and depressing in equal measure knowing that many others are going through similar - or worse.

One question I do want to know from those of you who have in/directly experienced mental health difficulties...can I ask if the problems ever disappear completely? Like, do you know whether it's possible to be 'cured', with or without interventions? Or is it only ever 'managed'?

Thanks

Sorry to hear that.

I guess it depends on the severity and what the challenges you or anyone have, and also what may have caused them.

For me I've been really lucky as any issues I have had actually had an identifiable cause, which when removed resolved things.

Again due to luck and a decent network of family and friends I was able to do that without structured support.

My advice to anyone if that network isn't there or you feel you cannot open up/share things with them, is to seek help. There are numerous support services and also communities around, a lot of which are targeted at particular areas.

They can help you understand what's going on and may also be able to provide a pathway to either resolution or management.

Palacefinder General · Jul 9, 2019

Re: Weststander's post above: Yes there is ACT, but the comment 'The difference is that they have learned' in your post totally ignores those who were born with a generically inherited mental health issue as opposed to the people you talk about. THAT is often 'the difference' unfortunately.

Half Time Pies · Jul 10, 2019

Mental Health is a very broad area and I can only talk about what I have experienced in terms of my own anxiety and depression. I would say that unlike a lot of conditions that once cured are unlikely to reoccur, depression knows no boundaries, even if one episode is successfully treated there is always that chance that at some point it will return and sometimes for no apparent reason.

I have had significant bouts of anxiety and depression in my life, and I am at this moment not depressed or anxious, but I wouldn't say I was cured as there is always the chance that tomorrow things could be different.

What I have managed to obtain are ways of identifying potential trigger points and of managing any symptoms that may occur from time to time. For me part of the process has been the acceptance that anxiety and depression may come and go and not being fearful of it or trying to push it away, not identifying with myself as a depressed or anxious person but seeing it as a feeling that arises and will in my case eventually pass.

Last week for example I had an afternoon of feeling incredibly low, but that came and went in a few hours whereas in the past it may have lasted for a few days or weeks. Yesterday I felt some anxiety whilst making a phone call but was able to being my attention to where I felt the anxiety in my body and use a breathing technique which encouraged it to settle down.

The good news is that through the process of managing my depression and anxiety I have actually become more happier and contented with my life than I have ever been. My life is no less stressful and challenging (I run a business that employs 60 people and have 2 very young children) but the depression and anxiety prompted me to look at my life and work out the things I was doing that were helpful and do more of them and do less of the things that were unhelpful and damaging. As a result my relationships with those around me have improved massively and I have been able to find a sense of balance that I would never of thought was possible.

Stat Brother · Jul 10, 2019

TheJasperCo said:
Thought I'd bounce this thread. Like other posters on here in recent days, I've gone through a protracted phase of personal trouble. It's reassuring and depressing in equal measure knowing that many others are going through similar - or worse.

One question I do want to know from those of you who have in/directly experienced mental health difficulties...can I ask if the problems ever disappear completely? Like, do you know whether it's possible to be 'cured', with or without interventions? Or is it only ever 'managed'?

Thanks

I'll hazard a guess that depends on whether you were fine and dandy before your protracted bout of troubles, sorry to hear that.

I hope you were and are in a period of 'why can't I just catch a break', I know that feeling.
I hope for you your perspective and situations change enough to have you back on your feet again, hopefully it might not take the big event you feel it needs and just a bit of time while small changes occur around you.

I've come to the conclusion I've always been depressed or I guess that should be unhappy.
I can think of a 5 year period when I was a better person, but that's it, not a great return on 49 years.
I stopped taking tablets a good few months ago coming to the realisation that actually this is me.
I can get very dark, but that still happened on the happy pills, who knows one day it may well get the better of me, but c'est la vie.
My grandfather had 'issues' - naturally they were never discussed.
In an odd way I take some comfort from the probability that my brain is just a 'family thing'.

Much like [MENTION=631]Kneon Light[/MENTION] earlier in the week NSC can be my undoing and salvation in equal measures
It's definitely my crux as I'm no longer a drinker and never was a smoker or fighter! so here I am attempting bad humour, trawling for singings, occasionally spoiling for a fight (which says more about me on those days than I'm prepared to admit to myself) just winding down the clock.

Oh shit sorry DJC my heartfelt sympathes for you rapidly turned into me, me, me
If your friends and family are strong enough lean on them and you'll be fine, eventually.
Try to do what I can't - think positively.

Now that's fudging funny coming from me.

Garry Nelson's teacher · Jul 10, 2019

Stat Brother said:
I'll hazard a guess that depends on whether you were fine and dandy before your protracted bout of troubles, sorry to hear that.

I hope you were and are in a period of 'why can't I just catch a break', I know that feeling.
I hope for you your perspective and situations change enough to have you back on your feet again, hopefully it might not take the big event you feel it needs and just a bit of time while small changes occur around you.

I've come to the conclusion I've always been depressed or I guess that should be unhappy.
I can think of a 5 year period when I was a better person, but that's it, not a great return on 49 years.
I stopped taking tablets a good few months ago coming to the realisation that actually this is me.
I can get very dark, but that still happened on the happy pills, who knows one day it may well get the better of me, but c'est la vie.
My grandfather had 'issues' - naturally they were never discussed.
In an odd way I take some comfort from the probability that my brain is just a 'family thing'.

Much like [MENTION=631]Kneon Light[/MENTION] earlier in the week NSC can be my undoing and salvation in equal measures
It's definitely my crux as I'm no longer a drinker and never was a smoker or fighter! so here I am attempting bad humour, trawling for singings, occasionally spoiling for a fight (which says more about me on those days than I'm prepared to admit to myself) just winding down the clock.

Oh shit sorry DJC my heartfelt sympathes for you rapidly turned into me, me, me
If your friends and family are strong enough lean on them and you'll be fine, eventually.
Try to do what I can't - think positively.

Now that's fudging funny coming from me.

That's just such a sad post (and I mean 'sad' in the traditional sense). 49 is not too late in life to have a realistic chance that things can take a turn for the better. It might not be of much comfort but there is that evidence that the happiness curve is 'U' shaped - and that you might be pretty near the bottom of the U round about now...………..

Chicken Run · Jul 10, 2019

Stat Brother said:
I'll hazard a guess that depends on whether you were fine and dandy before your protracted bout of troubles, sorry to hear that.

I hope you were and are in a period of 'why can't I just catch a break', I know that feeling.
I hope for you your perspective and situations change enough to have you back on your feet again, hopefully it might not take the big event you feel it needs and just a bit of time while small changes occur around you.

I've come to the conclusion I've always been depressed or I guess that should be unhappy.
I can think of a 5 year period when I was a better person, but that's it, not a great return on 49 years.
I stopped taking tablets a good few months ago coming to the realisation that actually this is me.
I can get very dark, but that still happened on the happy pills, who knows one day it may well get the better of me, but c'est la vie.
My grandfather had 'issues' - naturally they were never discussed.
In an odd way I take some comfort from the probability that my brain is just a 'family thing'.

Much like [MENTION=631]Kneon Light[/MENTION] earlier in the week NSC can be my undoing and salvation in equal measures
It's definitely my crux as I'm no longer a drinker and never was a smoker or fighter! so here I am attempting bad humour, trawling for singings, occasionally spoiling for a fight (which says more about me on those days than I'm prepared to admit to myself) just winding down the clock.

Oh shit sorry DJC my heartfelt sympathes for you rapidly turned into me, me, me
If your friends and family are strong enough lean on them and you'll be fine, eventually.
Try to do what I can't - think positively.

Now that's fudging funny coming from me.

A shit load of people on this forum are seemingly affected by mental health issues in some degree and I’m not sure that actually says more about the forum than the people, I’ve been posting on here 20 plus years and it’s only in the last 3 that the number of new posts related to this subject have intensified!

DJ NOBO · Jul 10, 2019

TheJasperCo said:
Thought I'd bounce this thread. Like other posters on here in recent days, I've gone through a protracted phase of personal trouble. It's reassuring and depressing in equal measure knowing that many others are going through similar - or worse.

One question I do want to know from those of you who have in/directly experienced mental health difficulties...can I ask if the problems ever disappear completely? Like, do you know whether it's possible to be 'cured', with or without interventions? Or is it only ever 'managed'?

Thanks

I’ve had bouts of depression and found thinking in terms of a cure didn’t help - it sets the bar too high. I now accept it goes in waves, and that has always been the case for me.

External factors like relationships, life successes, having money etc play a factor but I suspect if even I had everything material and emotional I could ever want, it would still be the same pattern - Periods of depression in waves. Some more intense than others, some longer than others.

I’ve found having a daily structure helps, not overthinking, keeping a ‘happy’ diary (recording one happy moment that happens per day), not drinking, exercising, spending time with family....

The black cloud will be back though. I don’t find that a depressIng prospect as such, it’s just how it is. Right now, I’m into a two-month spell of anxiety. I just try and live with it. I’ve learned to cover it up well and keep functioning.
it’s not all bad. I credit my depressive nature, with my creative side. They’re closely related.
Good luck

Stat Brother · Jul 10, 2019

Chicken Run said:
A shit load of people on this forum are seemingly affected by mental health issues in some degree and I’m not sure that actually says more about the forum than the people, I’ve been posting on here 20 plus years and it’s only in the last 3 that the number of new posts related to this subject have intensified!

It shows to how we live our lives and fortunately how more accepting we are of such issues, which can't be a bad thing.
I don't think I would have turned out so rotten, if I were growing up in this climate.
All my triggers are pretty 'standard', for a start I'd have got some grief counseling when my dad died instead of 15 year old me told to "man up now".

As said I think my grandfather had mental health issues, I don't know.
I do know he was estranged from his entire family, he was aloof and there were few photos of him, the only one I remember seeing was rather distant and glossed over when seen. (Nobody can accuse my family of not getting irony.)
As said history repeating!

I could 'yeah but...' my way through Stat Life pointing accusing fingers at everybody and have some justification in doing so but the bottom line is me.
Theres been far to much self sabotaging where negativity, emotional immaturity, not being honest and hiding from confrontation has me wallowing in pity.
Again as said, that's just me and how I have always been - so deal with it, "man up". :lol:

Chicken Run · Jul 10, 2019

Stat Brother said:
It shows to how we live our lives and fortunately how more accepting we are of such issues, which can't be a bad thing.
I don't think I would have turned out so rotten, if I were growing up in this climate.
All my triggers are pretty 'standard', for a start I'd have got some grief counseling when my dad died instead of 15 year old me told to "man up now".

As said I think my grandfather had mental health issues, I don't know.
I do know he was estranged from his entire family, he was aloof and there were few photos of him, the only one I remember seeing was rather distant and glossed over when seen. (Nobody can accuse my family of not getting irony.)
As said history repeating!

I could 'yeah but...' my way through Stat Life pointing accusing fingers at everybody and have some justification in doing so but the bottom line is me.
Theres been far to much self sabotaging where negativity, emotional immaturity, not being honest and hiding from confrontation has me wallowing in pity.
Again as said, that's just me and how I have always been - so deal with it, "man up".

I think I’m the same age as you (49) and I personally attribute the huge increase of MHI’s in the 16-30 age group directly to social media!

I can’t help thinking the negatives outweigh the positives the internet has given the world.

BBassic · Jul 10, 2019

TheJasperCo said:
Thought I'd bounce this thread. Like other posters on here in recent days, I've gone through a protracted phase of personal trouble. It's reassuring and depressing in equal measure knowing that many others are going through similar - or worse.

One question I do want to know from those of you who have in/directly experienced mental health difficulties...can I ask if the problems ever disappear completely? Like, do you know whether it's possible to be 'cured', with or without interventions? Or is it only ever 'managed'?

Thanks

Personally speaking my problems are always lurking about. Through counselling and self-care I've got methods and exercises designed to keep it all at bay. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. I just hope and try to have more days where they work than when they don't.

Whatever it is you're going through, they'll always be someone on NSC ready to lend an ear.

BBassic · Jul 10, 2019

Chicken Run said:
I think I’m the same age as you (49) and I personally attribute the huge increase of MHI’s in the 16-30 age group directly to social media!

I can’t help thinking the negatives outweigh the positives the internet has given the world.

I don't know about that. I definitely think it's a factor but to attribute the rise solely to social media seems a bit like how, when I was a kid in the 90's, every bit of youth related violent crime was attributed to metal music or video games. Or how in the 50's in America rock'n'roll was going to topple society. Or free love in the 60's. There's always something new that takes the brunt of the blame.

I'm 34 so just out of that age group but my problems have been there for as long as I can remember.

Half Time Pies · Jul 10, 2019

Chicken Run said:
A shit load of people on this forum are seemingly affected by mental health issues in some degree and I’m not sure that actually says more about the forum than the people, I’ve been posting on here 20 plus years and it’s only in the last 3 that the number of new posts related to this subject have intensified!

This is an important point. I think that the everyday demands of living in the modern world with 24/7 exposure to stresses through technology such as social media, emails coupled with the necessity for both parents to work full time, rise in debt levels and affordability of housing are huge contributors to this apparent mental health epedemic. However another big factor is that it is becoming more socially acceptable to talk about mental health. This is potentially massive for men in particular who have traditionally been told to 'man up' and as a result feel uncomfortable talking about their feelings.

My parents for example don't believe in depression, they think its an excuse that people use to avoid going to work! I am fairly certain however that my Dad has always suffered from some form of mental health issue, but instead of talking about his feelings with others he has withdrawn, become angry and aggressive, everyone in the family sees him as a bit of a git but in reality he probably needs some help and support. Tragedy is that he grown up in a generation where expressing any form of vulnerability has been seen as a weakness so he is never going to admit he has a problem, and that is always the first step.

Men could learn a lot from women in this respect, whenever I listen to my Wife talk to me or a friend about the stresses and issues that she is having in her life I wish that my friends and I could move on from "hello mate, you alright" "yes mate, could be worse"!

Mr Banana · Jul 10, 2019

Stat Brother said:
I'll hazard a guess that depends on whether you were fine and dandy before your protracted bout of troubles, sorry to hear that.

I hope you were and are in a period of 'why can't I just catch a break', I know that feeling.
I hope for you your perspective and situations change enough to have you back on your feet again, hopefully it might not take the big event you feel it needs and just a bit of time while small changes occur around you.

I've come to the conclusion I've always been depressed or I guess that should be unhappy.
I can think of a 5 year period when I was a better person, but that's it, not a great return on 49 years.
I stopped taking tablets a good few months ago coming to the realisation that actually this is me.
I can get very dark, but that still happened on the happy pills, who knows one day it may well get the better of me, but c'est la vie.
My grandfather had 'issues' - naturally they were never discussed.
In an odd way I take some comfort from the probability that my brain is just a 'family thing'.

Much like [MENTION=631]Kneon Light[/MENTION] earlier in the week NSC can be my undoing and salvation in equal measures
It's definitely my crux as I'm no longer a drinker and never was a smoker or fighter! so here I am attempting bad humour, trawling for singings, occasionally spoiling for a fight (which says more about me on those days than I'm prepared to admit to myself) just winding down the clock.

Oh shit sorry DJC my heartfelt sympathes for you rapidly turned into me, me, me
If your friends and family are strong enough lean on them and you'll be fine, eventually.
Try to do what I can't - think positively.

Now that's fudging funny coming from me.

Good luck

If you've just stopped taking meds, be careful on the withdrawals - they suck

father_and_son · Jul 10, 2019

Quite timely that this thread has been bounced...

At 49 and having gone through a difficult few years I was just coming out the other end and feeling more positive about life. In the past month I was told there was a restructure for my area and that my job was going to be at risk. The alternative job they were offering was a step up but represented more of everything I didn't want (more stress, wider remit) and a whole let less of what I did (smaller team, indepth focus). As it happens I was unhappy with various thin about the company (they keeping cutting corners to save a few grand and wonder why it causes huge problems further down the line that end up costing 10 of thousands to resolve!) and so was disillusioned.

I chose not to apply to any of the new roles, not take on the additional responsibility (for no money... of course) and instead take a pay off and leave. Don't think its what the company were expected and certainly not what my team want but I have to look after myself and this was a chance at some cash to leave a job I probably would have left anyway.

So... this is something that would probably have sent me over the edge a couple of years ago, but I am feeling strangely refreshed and positive. I'm 49 and so not getting a job isn't an option and getting a job isn't easy (I have got "you are over qualified" for a good few years now!) but I am in a specialist role with a shortage of qualified/experienced people so I don't think I'll be out for long.

My message to others facing dark clouds or negative feelings is that there are good times and even when things actually look a little bleak and possibly rocky, with a better mindset you can see the positives and face your problems with an inner strength. I spent a lot of time in talking therapy courtesy of the Rock Clinic [https://www.rockclinic.org.uk/] in Brighton and if anyone else if struggling it is a relatively affordable way to access good support without the NHS wait or the painful fees of private help. (about £30 an hour is manageable when you consider the cost of not getting help).

father_and_son · Jul 10, 2019

Chicken Run said:
A shit load of people on this forum are seemingly affected by mental health issues in some degree and I’m not sure that actually says more about the forum than the people, I’ve been posting on here 20 plus years and it’s only in the last 3 that the number of new posts related to this subject have intensified!

I think this is because a large degree of the stigma has been removed over recent years and those of us who have struggled for 20+ years are only now feeling comfortable coming out and saying "I have a problem".

Just think where we might get to in another 3 years!

Stat Brother · Jul 10, 2019

Mr Banana said:
Good luck

If you've just stopped taking meds, be careful on the withdrawals - they suck

They weren't the strongest.
I went to the doctors a year or so earlier hardly able to string 2 sentences together (not for the first time) he prescribed whatever saying 'they're not strong and are only to get you pointing in the right direction'.

As time went by I could sense I'd passed their 'sweet spot' and figured I could either go back and up the strength or just bail out now, which I chose, and it was ok (ish)

At some point while taking them my back did it's usual kerblamo and I took a rhino of a colleagues painkillers.
That mixture of tablets sent me absolutely banzi - happy days!

Palacefinder General · Jul 10, 2019

father_and_son said:
I think this is because a large degree of the stigma has been removed over recent years and those of us who have struggled for 20+ years are only now feeling comfortable coming out and saying "I have a problem".

Just think where we might get to in another 3 years!

Agree, the thing is men in general don't talk about this stuff, I've never opened up to anyone about my MH issues, have lived a lie my entire life and still do, akin to those who had to conceal their homosexuality back in the day. People are certainly more understanding, but the majority arguably aren't, and I get that as I'm not sure how much I'd be able to comprehend and empathise with MH issues if I wasn't a sufferer myself.

Stat Brother · Jul 10, 2019

father_and_son said:
Just think where we might get to in another 3 years!

Finding a cure!

I'll happily have my brain sliced apart if the end result was 'we'll find out what makes you (not) tick, which will prevent many others from feeling like you do every day'.

Chicken Run · Jul 10, 2019

father_and_son said:
I think this is because a large degree of the stigma has been removed over recent years and those of us who have struggled for 20+ years are only now feeling comfortable coming out and saying "I have a problem".

Just think where we might get to in another 3 years!

Agreed 75 percent of the population will be be affected one way or the other

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Does anyone have mental health problems?

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