[Humour] Joke Du Jour.

Barham's tash · Feb 5, 2019

Goldstone1976 said:
Quorn is a mycoprotein made from a soil microfungus, and is not “mushroom-based”. Indeed, CSPI famously* said “Quorn’s fungus is as closely related to mushrooms as humans are to jellyfish”. For that reason, I’m out.

* relatively.

I thought humans and jellyfish shared something like 92% DNA?**

**hmm maybe that’s humans and snowflakes.

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Wellesley · Feb 5, 2019

Barham's tash said:
I thought humans and jellyfish shared something like 92% DNA?**

**hmm maybe that’s humans and snowflakes.

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I shared my DNA with a jellyfish once. (or maybe twice

)

Dick Swiveller · Feb 5, 2019

Frankie said:
I don't like the freezer section in sainsbury's , there never seems to be Mush Room .

Think you want the veg aisle. If you really want frozen mushrooms then Iceland is the place.

https://groceries.iceland.co.uk/iceland-frozen-for-freshness-mushroom-mix-500g/p/69755

Or Asda

https://groceries.asda.com/product/vegetables/asda-scratch-cook-sliced-mushrooms/910002344686

If you want to stay at the high end supermarkets then Ocado/Waitrose can also help

https://www.ocado.com/webshop/produ...y/61060011?from=search&param=frozen mushrooms

Looks like Sainsburys are missing a trick by not stocking frozen mushrooms.

Peter Ward · Feb 5, 2019

Wellesley said:
I shared my DNA with a jellyfish once. (or maybe twice )

Was he a Portuguese man of war? I hear the've got very long large tenticles.

Wellesley · Feb 5, 2019

Peter Ward said:
Was he a Portuguese man of war?

No, just some slippery f***er that I found hanging around the docks in Majorca. Best gelatinous member of the subphylum Medusozoa I've ever had.

Winker · Feb 5, 2019

I ate quorn once, it tasted like a toad's stool.

Peter Ward · Feb 5, 2019

Wellesley said:
No, just some slippery f***er that I found hanging around the docks in Majorca. Best gelatinous member of the subphylum Medusozoa I've ever had.

Wasn't a Red slapper then?

sydney · Feb 5, 2019

zefarelly said:
If a mushroom, grows on meaty manure . . . . is it vegan ? I know commercially they're grown on horse manure, but what if the horse had eaten some chicken first . . . .

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?...E4E333F620D9DBC9E471E4E333F620D9DBC&FORM=VIRE

i must admit .....i have seen a pig eat a rat and i have seen a goat eat a dead snake but i have never seen a horse eat a chicken .........how the **** does it get it out of the wrapper....??

sydney · Feb 5, 2019

Dick Swiveller said:
Looks like Sainsburys are missing a trick by not stocking frozen mushrooms.

well if twatts are going around buzzing them out of the freezer in the middle of the night i would say they are serving their shareholders diligently by refraining from offering such fare .

Publius Ovidius · Feb 5, 2019

You lot need to show some respect
[MENTION=2974]Jack[/MENTION]straw spent hours taking photos of the building of our home and all you do is take the piss out of his " jokes"

I am APPALLED and OUTRAGED thta our hero can be so cruelly savaged!

Norman Potting · Feb 5, 2019

Is it PotG? said:
In celebration of the two great Chappell brothers, Cricket Australia decided to have their photos heading the website for a period. They couldn't decide in which order to have them, so they alternated thus:

Monday : Greg

Tuesday : Ian

Weds : Greg

Thurs: Ian

Fri: Greg.

Hence the Gregorian Calendar was created.

..Is there a "groan" emoji ?

Juan Albion · Feb 5, 2019

That was no mushroom, that was Trump's todger.

Guy Fawkes · Feb 5, 2019

Jack Straw said:
I went to Sainsburys this morning. On the floor by the freezers were quite a few packs of a mushroom-based vegetarian mince product arranged in a large ring. A member of staff told me that it was a mysterious Quorn circle.

Did this occur in a Sainsbury's store where the freezers are in the 14th Aisle? If so, it's probably aisle-n visitors who were responsible

essbee1 · Feb 5, 2019

Guy Fawkes said:
Did this occur in a Sainsbury's store where the freezers are in the 14th Aisle? If so, it's probably aisle-n visitors who were responsible

One of the posts of the year for me.

The Rattler · Feb 5, 2019

Jack Straw said:
I went to Sainsburys this morning. On the floor by the freezers were quite a few packs of a mushroom-based vegetarian mince product arranged in a large ring. A member of staff told me that it was a mysterious Quorn circle.

I went in my local newsagents this morning. On the floor by the till were quite a few copies of Razzle. A member of staff told me that it was a mysterious Porn circle.

Saunders · Feb 5, 2019

The Rattler said:
I went in my local newsagents this morning. On the floor by the till were quite a few copies of Razzle. A member of staff told me that it was a mysterious Porn circle.

Not much mystery involved with Razzle though ...so ive heard

Bodian · Feb 5, 2019

Grombleton said:
No we are not.

In addition, if the item has been left out of the freezer for longer than 30 minutes it becomes a quality issue therefore it is unlikely it would be sold. This would have to be disposed of in the correct manner ensuring it is placed in the right disposal bags awaiting return to the depot.

The last time I checked, ritual shapes isn't the preferred method of disposal, however I will clarify this with senior management.

What was their answer?

Johnnyboy · Feb 5, 2019

Jack Straw in Sainsbury’s....I don’t think so!

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Bodian · Feb 5, 2019

Jack Straw said:
I went to Sainsburys this morning. On the floor by the freezers were quite a few packs of a mushroom-based vegetarian mince product arranged in a large ring. A member of staff told me that it was a mysterious Quorn circle.

Don't know what other posters are on about accusing staff and Mr Straw. Surely a ring of mushrooms is created by fairies, or possibly elfs - but not humans.

Jack Straw · Feb 5, 2019

MattBackHome said:
The stores are still relatively busy between the opening time (7am at West Hove) and the 8:37 posted by [MENTION=259]Jack Straw[/MENTION]. It's inconceivable that the pile wasn't seen by other shoppers and staff, and if it had been seen before would have been cleaned up immediately. It follows that the ring must have been laid immediately prior to the OP walking down the aisle; either that or it was JACK STRAW HIMSELF who created the circle. I know who I think dunnit, and I bet he's got an SLR hanging off his neck as he reads this post.

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