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[Albion] Getting an albion joke into a grooms speech



J

juliant

Well-known member
Apr 4, 2011
558
Northamptonshire
Hi Nsc,

Im due to get married in a few weeks and sat currently writing my speech. The wife to be has banned the Albion from all parts of the wedding, wouldnt even let me have a blue and white striped cake !

So i intend to do what most married men do and start as i intend to go on and ignore her. I want to try and get at least 1 witty albion reference in there somewhere so am turning to you for help as im not much good with these things....

Anyone done this before or got any good ones?

Cheers all
 




maltaseagull

maltaseagull

Well-known member
Feb 25, 2009
12,988
Zabbar- Malta
juliant said:
Hi Nsc,

Im due to get married in a few weeks and sat currently writing my speech. The wife to be has banned the Albion from all parts of the wedding, wouldnt even let me have a blue and white striped cake !

So i intend to do what most married men do and start as i intend to go on and ignore her. I want to try and get at least 1 witty albion reference in there somewhere so am turning to you for help as im not much good with these things....

Anyone done this before or got any good ones?

Cheers all
Click to expand...

How can you tell if an airplane is full of Albion fans?
You can still hear the whining after the engines have been shutdown.
 


dingodan

dingodan

New member
Feb 16, 2011
10,080
You stand up, you look lovingly into your misses eyes, you raise your glass...

"OLE OLE OLE OLE, BRUNO, BRUNO!"
 
















Biscuit

Biscuit

Native Creative
Jul 8, 2003
22,217
Brighton
I got married just after we got promoted to the Premier League, I included this in my speech,

"I'd like to talk to you all about my one true love. (Turns to wife). We've been through everything, the incredible highs, the testing lows, but finally we're going to the next level.. I can honestly say, being a Brighton fan has never been so much fun,"

Went down well. :thumbsup:
 


schmunk

schmunk

"Members"
Jan 19, 2018
9,488
Mid mid mid Sussex
"Let's hope this marriage lasts longer than Houghton's tenure"?

"I've spent £17,000 on this wedding, and it's looking almost as much of a waste as the £17M we spent on Jahanbakhsh"? (jk, he'll come good!)

"I call my wife's legs Dunk and Duffy, because (insert punchline)..."?
 


Gazwag

Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,136
Bexhill-on-Sea
"Andone more thing before we raise our glasses and Dunk biscuits in our tea and eat the complimentary Murray mints. I would like to thank the florists for the Button holes but don't Knock the outrageous 'aert's sitting in the fireplace, I hope they don't Burn. So as time is March ing on a Propper cheer please for my wife....."
 




A1X

A1X

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 1, 2017
17,743
Deepest, darkest Sussex
"I promise never to go on one of Shane Duffy's big promotion nights out"
 


Stato

Stato

Well-known member
Dec 21, 2011
6,580
You could say in your speech that she has forbidden you from making the wedding at all about the Albion and then say things like 'I can Ward off her fears.' 'Bruno I wouldn't try to sneak anything in.', 'I still agreed to Murray her.' or 'I'm not just going to go on about the Albion: - ThereZamora sides to me than that.'
 








Pavilionaire

Pavilionaire

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
30,564
My wife is not keen on football but after we're married I hope we can visit Anfield, Old Trafford, White Hart Lane and maybe she'll let me take her up the Arsenal?
 


J

juliant

Well-known member
Apr 4, 2011
558
Northamptonshire
Biscuit said:
I got married just after we got promoted to the Premier League, I included this in my speech,

"I'd like to talk to you all about my one true love. (Turns to wife). We've been through everything, the incredible highs, the testing lows, but finally we're going to the next level.. I can honestly say, being a Brighton fan has never been so much fun,"

Went down well. :thumbsup:
Click to expand...

Love this !

Appreciate all the replies , some are a little close to the mark with the audience but bravo nsc i knew you wouldnt let me down !
 


The Clamp

The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 11, 2016
24,472
West is BEST
Biscuit said:
I got married just after we got promoted to the Premier League, I included this in my speech,

"I'd like to talk to you all about my one true love. (Turns to wife). We've been through everything, the incredible highs, the testing lows, but finally we're going to the next level.. I can honestly say, being a Brighton fan has never been so much fun,"

Went down well. :thumbsup:
Click to expand...

I think something like this is best. No obscure references, simple to remember and a solid punchline. You’ll get your Albion reference in there , it won’t dominate the whole speech and you’ll get a laugh.
Go with this.
And congrats to the OP. Have a great day!
 




Tom Hark Preston Park

Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
70,150
Maybe delegate all Albion references to the Best Man. That's what they're there for after all. Tho prob best not to start with him serenading the bride with 'He's just too GOOD for you!' :moo:
 


happypig

happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
7,959
Eastbourne
"Talking of names, Mrs Anderson*, should we someday have a son, I hope we can agree that a good name is Matthew <pause> Bruno Gaetan Shane Lewis Bernardo Dale Yves Solomon Pascal Glenn Anderson*"

*obviously change Anderson to your name.
 


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