Congrats for making the decision to do something about it, and feeling able to admit that you're scared of the consequences. What is it (about stopping) that scares you? Maybe if you can articulate it, some people here can reassure you and give you tips.
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[Drinking] Alcoholic/like a beer or two too much?
- Thread starter StillHateBellotti
- Start date
Knocky's Nose
Mon nez est en Valenciennes..
I drank way too much last year (and the 30 years previous to that 
), so decided to do "Dry January". I was very, very nervous. In the end it went so well it went into February and March... It wasn't easy, but I did it.
Then in early April I went out and had a few one night, then the next night, then the next.... That was me 'back on it' - and I was just as bad as before.
On August 31st I said "Right, as of tomorrow - no more alcohol whatsoever until late November when we go on holiday". That was 19 days ago and I'm finding it so much easier as I know what to expect, how to curb the cravings, and what to drink instead of alcohol.
It's not easy fella. Really, it isn't - but if you get support and the right mindset it can be done. The Alcohol Experiment (Google it) worked for me.
I'm an 'all or nothing' personality, and at 48 years old I doubt it'll change - so I'll just drink for a bit, stop for a while, drink for a bit - and so on. That's the intention, but the dream would be to be able to dip in and dip out at will, like Bozza.
If I can tell you just one thing which stopping drinking does - it's the sleep you get. Oh, the sleep. The sleep. It's bloody amazing. I wake up in the mornings and after 10 minutes my eyes are wide, my head is clear, and the day is a doddle.
Go to the Dry January thread, read it all, and post on there. I'll certainly help you, as will others on here. We're a good bunch really
), so decided to do "Dry January". I was very, very nervous. In the end it went so well it went into February and March... It wasn't easy, but I did it.Then in early April I went out and had a few one night, then the next night, then the next.... That was me 'back on it' - and I was just as bad as before.
On August 31st I said "Right, as of tomorrow - no more alcohol whatsoever until late November when we go on holiday". That was 19 days ago and I'm finding it so much easier as I know what to expect, how to curb the cravings, and what to drink instead of alcohol.
It's not easy fella. Really, it isn't - but if you get support and the right mindset it can be done. The Alcohol Experiment (Google it) worked for me.
I'm an 'all or nothing' personality, and at 48 years old I doubt it'll change - so I'll just drink for a bit, stop for a while, drink for a bit - and so on. That's the intention, but the dream would be to be able to dip in and dip out at will, like Bozza.
If I can tell you just one thing which stopping drinking does - it's the sleep you get. Oh, the sleep. The sleep. It's bloody amazing. I wake up in the mornings and after 10 minutes my eyes are wide, my head is clear, and the day is a doddle.
Go to the Dry January thread, read it all, and post on there. I'll certainly help you, as will others on here. We're a good bunch really
I don't think it's about being a martyr, I think some people just find it too difficult (read impossible) to have a 2 glasses of wine or beer and then stop. Once they've had a couple, they're enjoying it and want another. And then they'll do the same the next day, and the next. Of course everyone is different, but many do find completely stopping more achievable than drinking moderately.
Is it? I didn't know that. If 35 is fine, why have they reduced the recommended limit from 21 down to 14 for men?
Knocky's Nose
Mon nez est en Valenciennes..
That's me. One glass of wine with dinner when i get in, one an hour later sat in the bath amongst the bubbles watching the iPad, one watching TV with the Missus an hour or two later. Boom... bottle of wine gone. Then you're all relaxed, weak willed, and it's a can or two of beer - then the Vodka and Coke starts waving at you, then the Gin shows you it's boobies, and so on... Before you know it, you're falling into bed for a crap 'drunk sleep'.
My trick was to have no alcohol in the house apart from that one bottle of wine, but you then start thinking about alcohol for the rest of the night and feel something is missing when you're sat there with a diet coke. You build up such a tolerance for alcohol it just takes more and more to get you where you want to be.
This time around I'm not really missing it at all and it's been a doddle to just stop on a sixpence. Strange to feel like that as I was expecting the worst.
Good luck. Try to find something to fill the void / occupy the mind, when you would’ve been drinking.
Is it because for many alcohol is an an all or nothing addiction? Jimmy Greaves always admitted that if he started again with drinks on just “that one special occasion”, then he would be instantly hooked again.
Some of us might have the willpower (or lack of interest in booze) to not exceed the threshold you mention, but others can’t do that.
I think for the majority of us it's a lack of interest in booze. And I don't mean not liking the stuff - I like a nice glass (or two) of red, or (not and) a couple of beers, or maybe some whisky - but I'm just not that bothered. I don't need it to de-stress, or get merry. I also like a good night out with friends and a bit too much alcohol, but again, I wouldn't mind if I couldn't drink (eg driving). So I don't need to have great willpower.
Shuggie
Well-known member
This abstinence thing ... for me it means waking up with a clear head able to look the world in the eye, always being there for family, friends and colleagues. Good health, contented with my lot and (mostly) going through life with a smile on my face.
This martyrdom thing ... I knew what it was like to be a martyr to drink for 20 years. It took me 8 years of trying before I eventually gave up. Homeless, friendless, wifeless, kids gone, penniless. That was 8,628 days ago. What have I lost? No trail of devastation in my wake. No avoiding the neighbours, bosses, colleagues. No fear of the postman. No "Oh my God, did I really do that?" moments. No humiliating myself and losing control of bodily functions. No getting beaten up without knowing who, when, how or where it happened. No borrowing off mates unable to pay them back. No more conniving, controlling, deceitful manipulation of parents, family and friends. That's proper martyrdom, that is!
We should all try to avoid asking why others can't be like ourselves. We need to accept, even if we don't understand, that for some people one drink is never enough - they're not doing us any harm and they might be doing themselves a lot of good by putting the drink down. Live and let live.
To every single one of you trying to cut down a little or a lot, successfully or not, for a day or for life, just keep buggering on. It's worth it!
I know this question was aimed at [MENTION=13052]narly101[/MENTION], rather than me, but the whole 'being scared' to stop dynamic is something I can certainly relate to, and was certainly a factor for me.
I know it sounds stupid but for me I was scared I wouldn't be able to sleep. I have a demon - flashbacks to a traumatic event - that has a habit of coming to find me in the wee small hours when sleep won't come. So I'd have a few beers every night to help get me straight off to sleep. The wierd thing is, since stopping drinking I sleep better than I have ever slept before.
Oh, and [MENTION=6886]Bozza[/MENTION] - if you read this, I sent you a PM the other evening. When you get a chance to read it, let me know what your plans are. Thanks.
About 9 years back I managed to do sober October, a full 31 days of no alcohol and I remember the fear of nearing the end of the month, and not wanting to drink again, knowing that I would pretty much fall back off the wagon which I did within a few early days of November. It's that fear that I remember, and the fear that I won't have the required willpower again to stop for 31 days, and letting others down, and then subsequently falling off the wagon again. It's quite a difficult thing to articulate.
BBassic
I changed this.
- Jul 28, 2011
- 12,308
I keep slipping up.
Started with my personal trainer on Sept 2nd and was very good for that first week. But since then I've had a couple of pints a week. Tonight, because I'd been stressed at work, I had a few pints and have just polished off a Chinese takeaway. Very frustrating!
Started with my personal trainer on Sept 2nd and was very good for that first week. But since then I've had a couple of pints a week. Tonight, because I'd been stressed at work, I had a few pints and have just polished off a Chinese takeaway. Very frustrating!
thedonkeycentrehalf
Retired
- Jul 7, 2003
- 8,609
I'm one of these. I have never felt the need to drink to de-stress or needed a drink to enjoy myself - it was probably more something I did as part of a crowd. I've never been a 'solo' drinker.
I've never been a big wine drinker, don't like bitter / hoppy beers, can't stand cooking lagers and realised more recently that I only have the premium bottle lagers as something to drink rather than because I enjoyed them. I have been through the phase of drinking craft beers - sour and fruity beers were my thing - but in the end, they are just alcoholic soft drinks.
Throughout the summer I just wasn't feeling the beer so stuck with soft drinks and can't say I have missed the booze. Even pre and post Albion games I have not drunk this season.
It's not martyrdom of any type, it is just one of those life phases - the same as when you decide to lose weight when you can't see your toes or grow a beard because you can't be arsed to shave. I'm not saying I won't drink again but at the moment, I'm just not fussed about it.
However, if people like me, Triggaar, Knocky's Nose, etc are able to share our stories and prove that you can go out and not drink booze then, to those who feel that they have had or got issues with drink, if that helps you in any small way then it is worth me typing for a few minutes.
I wasn't really thinking my situation would help others (I don't really have a story to share), as those that could do with some friendly support are affected by alcohol more than I am. I was just saying how it is for me, as it's not some superior willpower I have, and those who struggle shouldn't be too hard on themselves. You only have to read threads like this to realise it is really hard for a lot of people, so if you're one of them, you're not alone. By being open about the issue and brave enough to ask for help I believe everyone can make progress.
Regarding the Chinese takeaway (and weight gain/loss), don't worry about it, just get back on track now. A mistake many make is thinking they've blown it when they've eaten too much and since they've already blown it, it doesn't matter what they eat next. As long as you get back on track, that Chinese takeaway won't matter.
You seem to have articulated it pretty well. I don't know enough about alcohol addiction to give any advice, but I expect others here do, so hopefully you'll find some useful tips.
I think I might join this club. I’ve always liked a drink but over the last 5 years it’s been pretty much every night at home. Some nights quite ridiculous amount as well. Feel crap the next day as well of course.
My trouble is I can’t just have a single beer. It’s 4 cans, then my wife’s wine and then quite often the top shelf.
So going to miss the Fridat night drinking thread tonight as I have an early start taking my boy up to start at University of Bath and don’t want the day ruined and then try to keep off it over the weekend. I feel like I can do it of a morning but it’s when late afternoon comes that I so fancy a beer or 6.
The fact I’m writing this is a start.
My wife commented on me drinking malt whisky from my beer glass last night. Time to do something isn’t it ?
My trouble is I can’t just have a single beer. It’s 4 cans, then my wife’s wine and then quite often the top shelf.
So going to miss the Fridat night drinking thread tonight as I have an early start taking my boy up to start at University of Bath and don’t want the day ruined and then try to keep off it over the weekend. I feel like I can do it of a morning but it’s when late afternoon comes that I so fancy a beer or 6.
The fact I’m writing this is a start.
My wife commented on me drinking malt whisky from my beer glass last night. Time to do something isn’t it ?
This. The way to see it is simply as a slip up and a blip. Get back on track and it will be meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
yes 
Don't be too hard on yourself mate.
It sounds like you need a healthy reward. I had a job that made me get through about 20 pints and 4 grams of cocaine a weekend! Madness. Now I've cleaned up my act and only ever drink a couple of pints at football or family 'do's'.
Good luck with it and going by what you've said, I know you're strong enough to sort it all out.
Normal Rob
Well-known member
I have a been a heavy drinker for 30 years, and this month i stopped to see if i could (mainly because of this thread). For 2 weeks i did not touch a drop but them, last Saturday, we had an annual event/family day out. I drank at it, had a great time, and have not touched a drop since that day. I'm delighted, as i'm proving to myself that the drink does not control me, moreover it is the other way round. And i really was not sure.