Tom Bombadil
Well-known member
Mr. Burns: I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children.
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
The Simpsons Quotes
- Thread starter Basil Fawlty
- Start date
Tricky Dicky
New member
Homer : "Mmmm donuts, is there nothing they can't do"
Mr Burns
New member
"Well, that's odd ... I've just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers - have him beaten to a pulp."
Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
Mr. Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
Le Premier Cru
Member
A drunken stranger is making trouble in Moe's Bar...
Moe: Barney, show this gentleman the exit.
Barney: There's an exit??!!
Moe: Barney, show this gentleman the exit.
Barney: There's an exit??!!
Basil Fawlty
Don't Mention The War
- Thread starter
- #26
Homer- MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM something.
Tom Hark Preston Park
Will Post For Cash
- Jul 6, 2003
- 70,143
Alien: I bring you love!
Dr. Hibbert: [smoking a cigar] Is that the love between a man and a woman or the love of a man for a fine Cuban cigar? [chuckles]
Alien: Uh... I bring you love!
Lenny: It's bringing love! Don't let it get away!
Carl: Break its legs!
Dr. Hibbert: [smoking a cigar] Is that the love between a man and a woman or the love of a man for a fine Cuban cigar? [chuckles]
Alien: Uh... I bring you love!
Lenny: It's bringing love! Don't let it get away!
Carl: Break its legs!
Basil Fawlty
Don't Mention The War
- Thread starter
- #28
Homer- Hello, I'm Mr Burns. I think you have some Mail for me.
Post office guy- Ok, what is your first name?
Homer- I don't know.
Post office guy- Ok, what is your first name?
Homer- I don't know.
Mr Burns
New member
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Cheeky Monkey
Well-known member
- Jul 17, 2003
- 23,033
Tom Hark said:
Vintage Simpsons 
SussexSpur
New member
From probably my favourite episode, "Colonel Homer"...
Lurleen: "Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without... you know... wantin' somethin' in return."
Homer: "Well, I was going to ask you for a glass of water, but now I feel kinda guilty about it."
And from my second favourite... when a crowd of Springfieldianites join George Bush on his morning jog - including Santa's Little Helper...
Homer: "I guess you could say he's barking up the wrong Bush. Heh, heh..."
Homer's brain: "There it is, Homer - the cleverest thing you'll ever say, and no one heard it."
Homer: "D'oh!"
Lurleen: "Homer, no man has ever been this nice to me without... you know... wantin' somethin' in return."
Homer: "Well, I was going to ask you for a glass of water, but now I feel kinda guilty about it."
And from my second favourite... when a crowd of Springfieldianites join George Bush on his morning jog - including Santa's Little Helper...
Homer: "I guess you could say he's barking up the wrong Bush. Heh, heh..."
Homer's brain: "There it is, Homer - the cleverest thing you'll ever say, and no one heard it."
Homer: "D'oh!"
Classic Homer, something along the lines of:-
Homer:- But Marge when I learn something new, it pushes something old out of my brain.
Remember when I learnt how to make home-made wine, & forgot how to drive.
Homer:- But Marge when I learn something new, it pushes something old out of my brain.
Remember when I learnt how to make home-made wine, & forgot how to drive.
SussexSpur
New member
Marge: "That's because you were drunk!"
Homer: "And how........"
Homer: "And how........"
Mr Burns
New member
The X-files episode-
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
Another episode
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
Another episode
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
Lyndhurst 14
Well-known member
- Jan 16, 2008
- 5,125
Krusty the Clown to an Italian audience at the opera
"I know you're out there. I can hear you being greasy"
"I know you're out there. I can hear you being greasy"
I had a video snippet on my phone, my lad and I were pissing ourselves laughing . . .
Bart & Millhouse on baby bikes . . . . get stopped by Nelson and his gang on their big boy bikes (racers)
Nelson does the classic HAh Hah, pulls the tassles of Barts Grips and says' Thanks for the tassles, my Mom can use these on her boobs at work'
Bart & Millhouse on baby bikes . . . . get stopped by Nelson and his gang on their big boy bikes (racers)
Nelson does the classic HAh Hah, pulls the tassles of Barts Grips and says' Thanks for the tassles, my Mom can use these on her boobs at work'