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  1. #41
    Nurse Laura
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    This has to be one of the funniest threads ive read in aaages
    Proud owner of a FIRST CLASS degree
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    • #42
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      Originally posted by ben andrews' girlfriend
      This has to be one of the funniest threads ive read in aaages
      You ain't kidding my sides are hurting and I've just been asked what I was crying about!
      The poster formerly known as Kaz
    • #43
      You can't change fighters Muhammed (im hard) Bruce Lee's Avatar
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      the peas are no longer in the equation, owing to the fact that the dish over balanced and they are now all over the draining board.







      and ive had a bit of a disaster with the spuds, owing to the fact that i put a bit too much milk in and its got the consistency of thick milk shake
      Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c'unt... me.
    • #44
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      Originally posted by 555kaz
      Once water is drained away, add knob of butter and small amount of milk and begin to mash. When they spuds are mostly mashed add a couple of spoons of mustard and some black pepper and carry on mashing/mixing in


      Now get yellow pages and look under T for take away restaurants, select type of menu required and call, not forgetting to give your order and your address. Upon hearing knock on the door, pay nice delivery man and apologise for the smoke. Unwrap the delivered package
      After that should all be ready to serve up, and sample the delights. Failing that retrieve your turkey steaks and mash from bin, place on a plate with peas from earlier and down with 20 "Andrews Antacid Pills" ;)
      The poster formerly known as Kaz
    • #45
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      0 Not allowed!
      Originally posted by seagullion
      the peas are no longer in the equation, owing to the fact that the dish over balanced and they are now all over the draining board.







      and ive had a bit of a disaster with the spuds, owing to the fact that i put a bit too much milk in and its got the consistency of thick milk shake


      The poster formerly known as Kaz
    • #46
      You can't change fighters Muhammed (im hard) Bruce Lee's Avatar
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      i give up. i have had an afternoon of culinary disasters.
      no peas
      no mash
      and just when im thinking to myself 'never mind, youve still got your turkey steaks' what happens? the element goes on the cooker and everything is cold. and thats not all



      as i was scraping said disasters into the dogs bowl my mobile fell out my top pocket into a heap of slushy mash and its blocked up all the speaker holes.
      Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c'unt... me.
    • #47
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      The poster formerly known as Kaz
    • #48
      It's all about the bikes Woodchip's Avatar
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    • #49
      Sussex born and bred
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      0 Not allowed!
      Originally posted by seagullion
      i give up. i have had an afternoon of culinary disasters.
      no peas
      no mash
      and just when im thinking to myself 'never mind, youve still got your turkey steaks' what happens? the element goes on the cooker and everything is cold. and thats not all



      as i was scraping said disasters into the dogs bowl my mobile fell out my top pocket into a heap of slushy mash and its blocked up all the speaker holes.
      The takeaway will be open soon.

      Talking of peas, on Friday evening I cooked Cumberland chipolatas, mash and marrowfat peas. I was coming through the double doors from the kitchen carrying both plates on a tray with cutlery and the tray slipped in my hand.
      I dropped both dinners on the living room floor (which fortnuately is laminated) We had to mop the floor after picking up broken plate and discarded food. The marrowfat peas went everywhere including inside one of the big speakers either side of the tv.
      I swore rather loudly and Ned laughed.
      Never argue with an idiot.
      They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
    • #50
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      0 Not allowed!
      Originally posted by Yorkie
      The takeaway will be open soon.

      Talking of peas, on Friday evening I cooked Cumberland chipolatas, mash and marrowfat peas. I was coming through the double doors from the kitchen carrying both plates on a tray with cutlery and the tray slipped in my hand.
      I dropped both dinners on the living room floor (which fortnuately is laminated) We had to mop the floor after picking up broken plate and discarded food. The marrowfat peas went everywhere including inside one of the big speakers either side of the tv.
      I swore rather loudly and Ned laughed.
      The poster formerly known as Kaz

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