Page 1 of 8 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 80
  1. #1

    Crap towns of Britain


    0 Not allowed!
    Anybody come across this site before? Some very amusing entries (see Darlington) and a number of Sussex towns on the list.

    crap towns

    • North Stand Chat

      advertising
      Join Date: Jul 2003
      Posts: Lots

        


    • #2
      Up the Albion! smudge's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2003
      Location
      On the ocean wave
      Posts
      7,158


      0 Not allowed!
      Love the one about Pompey, that place truly is Dog-Shit City!!

      Tiptoe, through the North Stand,
      Wiv yer boots on......
    • #3
      Native Creative Biscuit's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2003
      Location
      Brighton
      Posts
      21,652


      0 Not allowed!
      Crap town/village: Darlington

      Those who communicate in grunts and sniffs revel happily in the squalid surroundings. There is a night club called 'Mardi Gras' where squaddies from miles around congregate to chase fat single mums and stamp on peoples' heads. A small town with small minds, I challenge anyone to put 'darlo' in a positive light.

      Quality
    • #4
      Seagulls over Toronto
      Join Date
      Jul 2003
      Location
      Toronto
      Posts
      5,342


      0 Not allowed!
    • #5
      Members
      Join Date
      Aug 2003
      Location
      Worthing
      Posts
      303


      0 Not allowed!
      dont like Horley much, bugger all there! got stuck there one afternoon, it was not good.

      Crawley as well!!!!!!!
      Quick Stuart Munday to the Bat Mobil!
    • #6
      Team Behaving Badly Blackadder's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2003
      Location
      Haywards Heath
      Posts
      15,009


      0 Not allowed!
      I see Burgess Hill are in there Fran!

      No Haywards Heath though.



      And Crawley.

      I's say it's about right!
      "WINNERS FIND ANSWERS. PROMOTION CANDIDATES FIND THEIR SOLUTIONS. BRIGHTON HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER TONIGHT" Sky Sports commentator after Glen Murray scored 94th minute at Birmingham. 17.12.2016
    • #7
      Formerly "Sambo" Sam's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2003
      Location
      Oxfordshire
      Posts
      2,439


      0 Not allowed!
      Quote from the site:
      Go to Brighton, have a laugh by all means. But it isn't the Mecca of English cool. Ok??


      whats all that about?? ?? ??
      Last edited by Sam; 21-09-2003 at 19:01.
      Hello
    • #8
      Members
      Join Date
      Jul 2003
      Location
      Mid Sussex
      Posts
      2,410


      0 Not allowed!
      Originally posted by Buzza
      I see Burgess Hill are in there Fran!

      No Haywards Heath though.



      And Crawley.

      I's say it's about right!
      Haywards Heath is so crap it's unbelievable! Far worse than Burgess Hill!
      Admirer of Robbie Savage. Why won't women ever be equal to blokes? Because they'll never walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're beautiful.
    • #9
      Abi Fletchers Gimpboy Braders's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2003
      Location
      Brighton, United Kingdom
      Posts
      29,326


      0 Not allowed!
      Town/Village: Croydon - ******** of the southeast

      Amenities:
      Full of mockney wankers and Wetherspoon pubs. For those who are unfortunate enough to be born and raised in the locale all know of its perils and pitfalls.

      West Croydon bus station serves as a kind of halfway house for the mental health ward at Mayday hospital. The floor is littered with KFC chicken bones like some ancient caveman dwelling and the air stinks of piss and Vaseline. From here, if you avoid being chopped into bitesize chunks and stuffed into a second-hand suitcase, you can make your way up to the high street. Be careful not to look anyone in the eye or smile, this is often misconstrudled and could lead to verbal and even physical abuse. For example the offended party might say something along the lines of - "Whatchoo lookin' at you ****in' ****?" and then poke you in the eye with a half-snouted Lambert and Butler.

      You will see (out of the good eye) another side of Croydon folk at well-known Croydon nightspot 'The Blue Orchid'. This is not to be confused with 'The Meat Market' in Surrey Street, though the purpose is much the same. If you are lucky (depending on how you define lucky) you might spot page three-boob-cruise-Croydon-born Lindsey Dawn McKensie, (who I went to school with incidentally), or Beppe from EastEnders. However you are more likely to spot groups of middle-aged women on the pull and they'll probably be clad in leather and leopard-skin, chain smoking, laughing like drains and eating Scotch eggs and garlic bread. The toilets quite often have police incident boards in them but generally speaking if you stick to the 80s lounge you can avoid trouble. Just be careful no-one slips Rophypnol into your Bacardi Breezer, else you might not conciously find yourself being shagged senseless by someone almost certainly called Steve but whom you won't know from Adam.

      For fun,why not try the lift in the Drummond Centre (it's glass!) or indulge in a bit of thieving? Try on a variety of hats in Debenhams if the mood takes you. And it's always a good laugh to hang around at a bus stop for a few hours spitting at old people and drinking 20/20.

      Your social status in Croydon depends upon whether you live closer to the chocolate factory or shit works. The latter being the less desirable of the two. I lived closer to the shit works.

      Shit.

      Being Welsh does not automatically mean you are a Chav but it does make you strangeThimble Keegan
      NSC Minnesota StarsIN CHRIS WE TRUST
    • #10
      Abi Fletchers Gimpboy Braders's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2003
      Location
      Brighton, United Kingdom
      Posts
      29,326


      0 Not allowed!
      Town/Village: Croydon - ******** of the southeast

      Amenities:
      Full of mockney wankers and Wetherspoon pubs. For those who are unfortunate enough to be born and raised in the locale all know of its perils and pitfalls.

      West Croydon bus station serves as a kind of halfway house for the mental health ward at Mayday hospital. The floor is littered with KFC chicken bones like some ancient caveman dwelling and the air stinks of piss and Vaseline. From here, if you avoid being chopped into bitesize chunks and stuffed into a second-hand suitcase, you can make your way up to the high street. Be careful not to look anyone in the eye or smile, this is often misconstrudled and could lead to verbal and even physical abuse. For example the offended party might say something along the lines of - "Whatchoo lookin' at you ****in' ****?" and then poke you in the eye with a half-snouted Lambert and Butler.

      You will see (out of the good eye) another side of Croydon folk at well-known Croydon nightspot 'The Blue Orchid'. This is not to be confused with 'The Meat Market' in Surrey Street, though the purpose is much the same. If you are lucky (depending on how you define lucky) you might spot page three-boob-cruise-Croydon-born Lindsey Dawn McKensie, (who I went to school with incidentally), or Beppe from EastEnders. However you are more likely to spot groups of middle-aged women on the pull and they'll probably be clad in leather and leopard-skin, chain smoking, laughing like drains and eating Scotch eggs and garlic bread. The toilets quite often have police incident boards in them but generally speaking if you stick to the 80s lounge you can avoid trouble. Just be careful no-one slips Rophypnol into your Bacardi Breezer, else you might not conciously find yourself being shagged senseless by someone almost certainly called Steve but whom you won't know from Adam.

      For fun,why not try the lift in the Drummond Centre (it's glass!) or indulge in a bit of thieving? Try on a variety of hats in Debenhams if the mood takes you. And it's always a good laugh to hang around at a bus stop for a few hours spitting at old people and drinking 20/20.

      Your social status in Croydon depends upon whether you live closer to the chocolate factory or shit works. The latter being the less desirable of the two. I lived closer to the shit works.

      Shit.

      Being Welsh does not automatically mean you are a Chav but it does make you strangeThimble Keegan
      NSC Minnesota StarsIN CHRIS WE TRUST

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •