[Misc] wife away - house tidying

Normal Rob · Aug 15, 2022

Ok, my wife has been away for 4 days with our eldest daughter, leaving me at home with the 2 little ones. Over a text message exchange this morning i mentioned having to tidy the house before she returns tomorrow, especially as we have guests arriving in the evening for a couple of nights.

I explained that the house was ok (ish) but that I would need to run around for some time today making it right, to which she replied...

"OK, don't worry too much"

Have these words ever, EVER, been true

I've learnt from painful experience that acting on these words may be a big mistake...

Marshy · Aug 15, 2022

i think that sounds like a reasonable response from Mrs Rob. A general tidy up will do as long as it dosent look like a shit tip.

You have 3 kids the place will never be really tidy for more than 20 mins anyway.

Guinness Boy · Aug 15, 2022

How big is the pile of old pizza boxes?

nwgull · Aug 15, 2022

Normal Rob said:
Ok, my wife has been away for 4 days with our eldest daughter, leaving me at home with the 2 little ones. Over a text message exchange this morning i mentioned having to tidy the house before she returns tomorrow, especially as we have guests arriving in the evening for a couple of nights.

I explained that the house was ok (ish) but that I would need to run around for some time today making it right, to which she replied...

"OK, don't worry too much"

Have these words ever, EVER, been true I've learnt from painful experience that acting on these words may be a big mistake...

As long as it's as tidy as it was when she left, you can't argue with that.

As the owner of two small people myself, I can fully appreciate that looking after them yourself at home for 4 days will have been much more demanding than a trip away with an older child. Your wife will probably also recognise that so I'd take her words at face value!

Lenny Rider · Aug 15, 2022

Don't get a cleaner in thats for sure, did it once and Mrs H after consulatations with the rest of the Holiday Coven reckoned it was al part of some elborate cover up and we'd had brasses and wild parties at Casa Lenny.

Normal Rob · Aug 15, 2022

Lenny Rider said:
Don't get a cleaner in thats for sure, did it once and Mrs H after consulatations with the rest of the Holiday Coven reckoned it was al part of some elborate cover up and we'd had brasses and wild parties at Casa Lenny.

yeah i can understand that. On a similar note never, ever, wash the bedsheets just before the wife comes back from having been away :lolol:

Eric the meek · Aug 15, 2022

Here's my tip - heat up a bit of furniture wax before they're due home.

They'll walk in and say 'Ooh, that smells nice!'.

And put a single red rose on the wife's pillow. Job's a good'un.

Dick Knights Mumm · Aug 15, 2022

I reckon kitchen sink and surfaces. Hallway and living room hoovered. Bathroom if you have time. Bed made. One hour max.

Superficial stuff that looks welcoming when you return home.

And Ice cubes at the ready for a G&T (may be just us).

jakarta · Aug 15, 2022

You clearly need this man...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOZB6mNqhuA&t=221s

dsr-burnley · Aug 15, 2022

Dick Knights Mumm said:
I reckon kitchen sink and surfaces. Hallway and living room hoovered. Bathroom if you have time. Bed made. One hour max.

Superficial stuff that looks welcoming when you return home.

And Ice cubes at the ready for a G&T (may be just us).

Hoovered? For four days? Unless the OP has really excessive dandruff, hoovering isn't necessary.

"Tidying" means putting four days' newspapers into the bin, putting the children's toys into a box, and doing the washing up. Everything else is "cleaning" and that wasn't the question!

The Clamp · Aug 15, 2022

My house has always been tidier when they other half is away. Contrary to popular belief, I think women are generally messier than men. The lack of logical thinking results in lots of piles of things on once clear surfaces and items left where they fell.

Herr Tubthumper · Aug 15, 2022

Dick Knights Mumm said:
I reckon kitchen sink and surfaces. Hallway and living room hoovered. Bathroom if you have time. Bed made. One hour max.

Superficial stuff that looks welcoming when you return home.

And Ice cubes at the ready for a G&T (may be just us).

If I did all of this my wife would be suspicious.

Icy Gull · Aug 15, 2022

The Clamp said:
My house has always been tidier when they other half is away. Contrary to popular belief, I think women are generally messier than men. The lack of logical thinking results in lots of piles of things on once clear surfaces and items left where they fell.

Really? I know where I leave things, my wife tidies them away and sticks them in drawers, cupboards or wherever. When I can’t find something she will deny hiding it. We have had so many arguments about this over the years! I KNOW where I leave things (except car keys and my phone of course) so if they aren’t there I know she has moved them!

Anyway back on topic, the OP is gonna get it, however well he thinks he’s tidied up, I reckon :lolol:

Nobby Cybergoat · Aug 15, 2022

Icy Gull said:
Really? I know where I leave things, my wife tidies them away and sticks them in drawers, cupboards or wherever. When I can’t find something she will deny hiding it. We have had so many arguments about this over the years! I KNOW where I leave things (except car keys and my phone of course) so if they aren’t there I know she has moved them!

Anyway back on topic, the OP is gonna get it, however well he thinks he’s tidied up, I reckon

Or not going to get it more likely!

beorhthelm · Aug 15, 2022

"dont worry too much"... because no matter what you do, it wont be up to standard.

Gabbafella · Aug 15, 2022

B-right-on · Aug 15, 2022

Gabbafella said:
View attachment 150883

This.

She's in 'holiday mode' which will last anywhere between 0.25 and 7.5 seconds after walking through the door. Then it's back to business as usual, nothing you can do will be right.

So a quick 5 mins wipe down max. Anything else is a waste of time and effort.

Tim Over Whelmed · Aug 15, 2022

Never a more accurate statement THIS IS A TRAP, what this actual means is this had better be up to standard or you'll be on "Show Parade at 22:00hrs".

I have teenage Sons and when Mrs OW is away we adopt a two bin policy, one bin is used pretty much as normal and the second bin contains the takeaway wrappers etc

PILTDOWN MAN · Aug 15, 2022

Just make sure the kids are in clean clothes.

Oh and clean the toilet seat

Worried Man Blues · Aug 15, 2022

Do nothing expect and get bolloking, take it like a man.......... oh and keep beer handy

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