[Help] Gold Digger Advice

Seagull · Apr 23, 2022

An octogenarian uncle, still got his marbles, currently doing all right after his wife died a few years ago, has picked up a girlfriend who is 25 years younger. He's a strong character, a difficult ******* in some ways and doesn't think it's a problem, thinks he's immortal, quite independent, does not feel vulnerable, enjoying larging it in his 80s! Good on him in one way.

The family are a tad concerned as this woman is quite brazen, a selfish sort perhaps, seems to have serious gold digger credentials and is quite happy to tell you about it! Two dead husbands, plenty of resulting cash, and six disinherited step-kids under her belt, with one deathbed marriage to achieve some of that! Bold as brass, and an old as the hills story I guess.

My uncle is quite well off and you might expect his kids to benefit at some point, but they are seeing the writing on the wall, with this woman's arrival, and don't know what if anything they can or should do about it. He looks as if he could be her next "victim", but he won't have a word said against her. Meanwhile she says she's thinking of selling her place and moving in with him.

Maybe none of anyone else's business but, murder aside, any advice, legal or otherwise, from the NSC cognoscenti?

HastingsSeagull · Apr 23, 2022

Fireman Dan potential for this thread :moo:

Boring serious answer though, compliment sandwich. We like her for ‘x’ and ‘y’ but are concerned. We don’t think she is a gold digger but could you make a cheap will so we don’t have that nagging 5% worry and can focus instead on embracing her and getting to know her if you’re moving her in and welcoming her to our family. Love you x

Icy Gull · Apr 23, 2022

Not the answer his kids will want to hear, but if he still has his marbles, it’s his money and he can leave it to whoever he wants, should he decide to leave it to the woman who is giving him joy in his latter years. It’s not a given that you have a RIGHT to inherit your parents money and property is it?

m@goo · Apr 23, 2022

She might be all those things but it's his life and his money. Are you really concerned about his happiness or his money?

deletebeepbeepbeep · Apr 23, 2022

If he's enjoying his life let him. It's his money and his kids or grandkids should have no expectation of his money anyway. He earnt it and he can do what he wants with it.

Paulie Gualtieri · Apr 23, 2022

Sounds like the family needs to introduce a NDP.

Drop Barbs an email for a detailed blueprint

Bold Seagull · Apr 23, 2022

who are the gold diggers in this story?

Westdene Seagull · Apr 23, 2022

Putting aside the 'who should get his assets' question - you do need to ensure he's made a will, it wasn't under duress and that you know where the original will is stored - probate is an absolute git of a process without one ( sometimes with one as I'm finding ) and you imply he has plenty of assets. Don't challenge him on who he plans to leave to - just that he has it all tied up in a will - an up to date will.

227 BHA · Apr 23, 2022

Bold Seagull said:
who are the gold diggers in this story?

Mmm, yeah that’s how I read it

Triggaaar · Apr 23, 2022

m@goo said:
She might be all those things but it's his life and his money. Are you really concerned about his happiness or his money?

deletebeepbeepbeep said:
If he's enjoying his life let him. It's his money and his kids or grandkids should have no expectation of his money anyway. He earnt it and he can do what he wants with it.

He probably wants to leave stuff to his kids. If he doesn't, that's cool, he shouldn't. But if he does, then what's wrong with enjoying his life with this new lady, and leaving his money to his kids after?

The issue is if she then tries to turn his mind against the kids, and get him to leave it to her. It seems from the OP that she has form.

dazzer6666 · Apr 23, 2022

Westdene Seagull said:
Putting aside the 'who should get his assets' question - you do need to ensure he's made a will, it wasn't under duress and that you know where the original will is stored - probate is an absolute git of a process without one ( sometimes with one as I'm finding ) and you imply he has plenty of assets. Don't challenge him on who he plans to leave to - just that he has it all tied up in a will - an up to date will.

This. If he ends up marrying her, he’ll need a new one too as marriage invalidates a will made before it (unless expressly written in contemplation of that marriage).

Clive Walker · Apr 23, 2022

This is a very worrying scenario. The treat of gold diggers is a concern that should be taken very seriously.

It’s so unfortunate that the gold diggers tend to always be the children that assume they are entitled to it.

Herr Tubthumper · Apr 23, 2022

Seagull said:
An octogenarian uncle, still got his marbles, currently doing all right after his wife died a few years ago, has picked up a girlfriend who is 25 years younger. He's a strong character, a difficult ******* in some ways and doesn't think it's a problem, thinks he's immortal, quite independent, does not feel vulnerable, enjoying larging it in his 80s! Good on him in one way.

Any advice

Given what you’ve said, I can’t help but think just let him get on with it. He seems perfectly able to make his own decisions and it’s his life and his money.

Kosh · Apr 23, 2022

I’d say, if she’s prepared to nosh of an 80+ year old she’s entitled to pretty much all the money in the world.

It’s very much like one of those classic sixth form conversations, “would you nosh off rob doggs grandad for a million?”

Then no.

Now, I’d consider it, and he’s been dead for 10 years*

*, based on a fictional scenario. Honestly.

The Antikythera Mechanism · Apr 23, 2022

HastingsSeagull said:
Fireman Dan potential for this thread

Depends whether he’s folded it in yet. :lolol:

Hugo Rune · Apr 23, 2022

We had a similar scenario in my family. My aunt (non-blood relative) and her sister got very upset when their 70 something father hitched up with what they considered a gold digger after the death of their mother.

This ended very sadly. Their father died about 5 years later but rather than inherit his wealth, the ‘gold digger’ committed suicide because she couldn’t live with out him.

You have to be very careful when labelling someone a gold digger. In all honesty, if they are making that person feel loved, if they are providing company and support for that person, you can’t begrudge the choice of the person you are worried about.

Motogull · Apr 23, 2022

Put her in the woodchipper. Pronto.

Icy Gull · Apr 23, 2022

I suggest that this thread is not going the way the OP expected!

Justice · Apr 23, 2022

Strange considering I couldn’t give a monkey’s on how my uncles live their life or how they spend their money.

Herr Tubthumper · Apr 23, 2022

Obvs I’d need to see a photo of this “brazen” young lady before I can make a full assessment of the situation.

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