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[Humour] Joke de jour….



G

gazingdown

Well-known member
Feb 26, 2011
1,055
My daughter just walked into the living room and said

"Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.

Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house.

Then disown me and never talk to me again.

And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.”



Well, she didn't put it quite like that... she actually said...



“Dad, this is my new boyfriend, he supports Crystal Palace"
 




Hugo Rune

Hugo Rune

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Feb 23, 2012
21,629
Brighton
She still has a stereo and an iPod?

I’m guessing she is in her early 50’s and you’re in your mid to late 70’s which begs the question, why hasn’t she moved out previously?

I think there is a lot more going on here than just her getting herself a new Palace boyfriend.

I’d recommend a reconciliation service specialising in families.

Best of luck sorting this all out.
 


B-right-on

B-right-on

Living the dream
Apr 23, 2015
6,177
Shoreham Beaaaach
Calls for a Child Disownment legal application.
 




BadFish

BadFish

Huge Member
Oct 19, 2003
17,119
As disappointing as this may be, I feel like you have some anger issues. This is a huge over reaction and you should probably seek counseling.
 




Albion my Albion

Albion my Albion

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Feb 6, 2016
17,895
Indiana, USA
Hugo Rune said:
She still has a stereo and an iPod?

I’m guessing she is in her early 50’s and you’re in your mid to late 70’s which begs the question, why hasn’t she moved out previously?

I think there is a lot more going on here than just her getting herself a new Palace boyfriend.

I’d recommend a reconciliation service specialising in families.

Best of luck sorting this all out.
Click to expand...


She might be in her 50's but the Palace boyfriend is probably 15.
 


Dr Q

Dr Q

Well-known member
Jul 29, 2004
1,793
Ilkley
Buy a dog and call it Millwall. Will sh*t him up every time you call it :ohmy:
 


ConfusedGloryHunter

ConfusedGloryHunter

He/him/his/that muppet
Jul 6, 2011
2,047
Well? What happened? Did you go to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters with the jewellery?
 




Hugo Rune

Hugo Rune

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Feb 23, 2012
21,629
Brighton
Albion my Albion said:
She might be in her 50's but the Palace boyfriend is probably 15.
Click to expand...

In which case, it’s a Police matter.

I can’t imagine what the poor OP is going through, whilst he has clearly kicked his daughter out of his home for noncing, should he now report her and her child boyfriend to the old bill? What a tough decision.
 








Stat Brother

Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,735
West west west Sussex
Dr Q said:
Buy a dog and call it Millwall. Will sh*t him up every time you call it :ohmy:
Click to expand...

Won't Millwall the dog end up thinking his name is double barreled?





The clock is ticking, who's gonna begrudgingly accept the tap in?
 


Stat Brother

Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,735
West west west Sussex
This is hardly a joke when members of this parish have actually bought palace fans into the world.
 










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