[Misc] Christmas and mental health

Psychobilly freakout said:

It seems like this year has been relentless in disappointment nearly all of it linked to covid unfortunately. Like you in the construction industry it has been full steam ahead and then some, issues with labour and stock throughout my sector and beyond no doubt, putting extra pressure to meet expectations and demands. Holidays cancelled and re booked and re cancelled, Schooling changes and restrictions, covering childcare, and just everyday activities we all took for granted before the pandemic have become a chore, blighted with restrictions and perceived dangers, coupled with last minute changes to your day, such as excuses made using covid as a an excuse and because of covid results, sadly many of us have lost people we know, and some we could not say goodbye too.

The little pleasures we oh so took for granted, seem to be so awkward now, should I go ? should I risk it ?
I was so looking forward to this Christmas, trip to America on, off, on, Father in law then tests positive two days ago, so off again.
The wife & daughter now moody, which now has me starting to feel depressed, today on the drive to work, I caught myself thinking can't live like this much longer, I do not want to do this anymore.
There seems little to look forward too, can't plan anything with any positivity.

I know some folk will say, ah just do it, book it, you can go away, I've done it, ah you have so much to look forward too...
But I have booked several holidays, none of them came to fruition, gigs booked all cancelled, Tottenham cancelled, Boxing day probably cancelled, all small problems yeah, but they are what I look forward too, they keep me going through the exasperating job, of dealing with floor layers and site managers, drop off, pick up, shopping, cleaning cat sick, etc etc & the darkness of winter.

Christmas and Birthdays I always get anxious and expect to be disappointed, probably has a lot to do with being in care at such a young age, and not having anyone there for you when those links are made. So I fully understand the pressure of the holiday period.
I don't want to sound like a party pooper, or not grateful for what I have, I am well aware there are people in worse situations...

Just...

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Psychobilly freakout said:

It seems like this year has been relentless in disappointment nearly all of it linked to covid unfortunately. Like you in the construction industry it has been full steam ahead and then some, issues with labour and stock throughout my sector and beyond no doubt, putting extra pressure to meet expectations and demands. Holidays cancelled and re booked and re cancelled, Schooling changes and restrictions, covering childcare, and just everyday activities we all took for granted before the pandemic have become a chore, blighted with restrictions and perceived dangers, coupled with last minute changes to your day, such as excuses made using covid as a an excuse and because of covid results, sadly many of us have lost people we know, and some we could not say goodbye too.

The little pleasures we oh so took for granted, seem to be so awkward now, should I go ? should I risk it ?
I was so looking forward to this Christmas, trip to America on, off, on, Father in law then tests positive two days ago, so off again.
The wife & daughter now moody, which now has me starting to feel depressed, today on the drive to work, I caught myself thinking can't live like this much longer, I do not want to do this anymore.
There seems little to look forward too, can't plan anything with any positivity.

I know some folk will say, ah just do it, book it, you can go away, I've done it, ah you have so much to look forward too...
But I have booked several holidays, none of them came to fruition, gigs booked all cancelled, Tottenham cancelled, Boxing day probably cancelled, all small problems yeah, but they are what I look forward too, they keep me going through the exasperating job, of dealing with floor layers and site managers, drop off, pick up, shopping, cleaning cat sick, etc etc & the darkness of winter.

Christmas and Birthdays I always get anxious and expect to be disappointed, probably has a lot to do with being in care at such a young age, and not having anyone there for you when those links are made. So I fully understand the pressure of the holiday period.
I don't want to sound like a party pooper, or not grateful for what I have, I am well aware there are people in worse situations...

Just...

Click to expand...

DJ NOBO said:

Last year we had to cancel plans to stay with extended family and stayed at home.
What an eye-opener that was. It was way better. We could keep the focus on the children rather than getting frustrated by inlaws and parents.
So this year it’s same again. The four of us at home, making our own day and not being bound by other people’s traditions.
It’s a bit sad, in a way, but (as the OP suggested) when life is stressful enough as it is you can’t being spending holiday time being switched on for other people.
I know I am lucky to be in a position to plan a Christmas with others. It hasn’t always been the case. Best wishes to all

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Bry Nylon said:

Good thread [MENTION=36757]Happy Exile[/MENTION] and certainly one I shall be contributing to and reading with interest over the next couple of weeks.

I used to love this time of year - the build up to Christmas and the sense of one year drawing to a close and a new one just around the corner.

But I'll be honest, now that I live apart from my children I find the whole build up to Christmas and the day itself very difficult and something I try to ignore so far as I can (which obviously is impossible). I try telling myself that "it's just another day..." except well, it isn't is it?

It's silly, little things that make it hurt. Things like just getting up on Christmas Day and standing in the kitchen on my own and making a cup of coffee and wondering how to fill the day, acutely aware of the chaos and excitement that will be unfolding in homes up and down the country. Or even that BBC ident from a couple of years ago that was played between programmes throughout December with the strapline "Together at Christmas." (I told you they were silly little things, but they have the ability to cut to the core). Things like watching on enviously as everybody else builds up for the 'big day' and then feeling bad for being envious rather than happy for them.

I wouldn't say it is a mental health thing for me; it's just a sad, poignant time of year for me and frankly I'll be glad when it is all over. Having said that, I do love giving my kids their gifts and seeing how excited they get about Christmas - but I still feel bad that I can no longer give them the traditional family Christmas like the ones we used to have.

Thanks for the thread, HE.

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Barham's tash said:

Christmas is difficult for so many reasons on so many levels when you finally get to be the adult in charge but like others have already shared it’s the little things that sting the most sometimes. Having said that in no particular order here are the things that will make me feel a bit dead inside whilst outwardly projecting insane levels of happiness for my 4 year old and 6 month old girls.

Not sharing it with my dad - family politics - losing my mum at the age of 19 and finding Christmas was never the same since.

A big family issue arising some 25 years ago and knowing that it all started because two people met and connected during a family Christmas only to rip the family apart roughly a year later.

This year we went to Disneyland Paris two weeks ago and have about five or six other Christmas events in the diary between then and the bid day but each one I attend with a happy veneer and crumbling underneath because the stark reality is that I’d much rather hibernate and then re-emerge in mid January once all the fuss has died down.

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