Robinjakarta
Well-known member
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[Misc] Man goes to hospital with a mortar up his bottom
- Thread starter Frutos
- Start date
Jack Straw
I look nothing like him!
Yes. He was given the bullet.
Pavilionaire
Well-known member
- Jul 7, 2003
- 30,664
He sounds like one of those Suicide Bummers
maffew
Well-known member
Sounds like a complete WEAPON
horshamite
Now Saltdeanite.
- Nov 16, 2010
- 468
There's clearly mortar this than meets the eye.
clapham_gull
Legacy Fan
- Aug 20, 2003
- 25,466
Man goes to the doctors with a snake stuck up his backside.
The doctor says "yes this is very common sir. You firstly need to stick an apple up there, followed by an orange and finally a doughnut. Come back in a week."
The man follows the advice for a week, but still has a snake stuck up his backside and goes back to the doctors.
The doctor says "yes, this a very common complaint sir. But you need to follow my advice. You firstly need to stick an apple up there, followed by an orange and finally a doughnut."
After another week the snake is still stuck up his backside so he returns the doctor.
The doctor says "I'm sorry sir, but this is the only known cure. You firstly need to stick an apple up there, followed by an orange and finally a doughnut. Come back in a fortnight."
Two weeks go by and still the snake is stuck up his backside. The man very frustrated goes back to the doctor.
The doctor says "I'm sorry sir, but you have to be patient. You firstly need to stick an apple up there, followed by an orange. Come back tomorrow."
The man goes home and following the doctors advice, sticks an apple and an orange up his backside.
The snake springs out and says "Oi, where's my f******* doughnut?"
The doctor says "yes this is very common sir. You firstly need to stick an apple up there, followed by an orange and finally a doughnut. Come back in a week."
The man follows the advice for a week, but still has a snake stuck up his backside and goes back to the doctors.
The doctor says "yes, this a very common complaint sir. But you need to follow my advice. You firstly need to stick an apple up there, followed by an orange and finally a doughnut."
After another week the snake is still stuck up his backside so he returns the doctor.
The doctor says "I'm sorry sir, but this is the only known cure. You firstly need to stick an apple up there, followed by an orange and finally a doughnut. Come back in a fortnight."
Two weeks go by and still the snake is stuck up his backside. The man very frustrated goes back to the doctor.
The doctor says "I'm sorry sir, but you have to be patient. You firstly need to stick an apple up there, followed by an orange. Come back tomorrow."
The man goes home and following the doctors advice, sticks an apple and an orange up his backside.
The snake springs out and says "Oi, where's my f******* doughnut?"
- Thread starter
- #29
How rude.
Is it PotG?
Thrifty non-licker
Maybe he was simply trying to cement a new relationship.
clapham_gull
Legacy Fan
- Aug 20, 2003
- 25,466
Those clever researchers at The Sun have tracked down the shell.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/16923295/bomb-squad-hospital-bottom-shell/
Nothing really phases me after a friend took me to a famous "paraphernalia" in Amsterdam.
After you'd got over the thought of pain, even I had to admit that the tooling of some of the equipment was amazing.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/16923295/bomb-squad-hospital-bottom-shell/
Nothing really phases me after a friend took me to a famous "paraphernalia" in Amsterdam.
After you'd got over the thought of pain, even I had to admit that the tooling of some of the equipment was amazing.
el punal
Well-known member
A man goes to his doctor and says “I’ve got a golf ball stuck up my arse”.
The doctor tells him to drop his trousers and pants and bend over, whereupon examining the man the doc exclaims “You’re right it is a golf ball and it’s gone up a fairway”.
Reverting back to the OP - Boom! Boom!
The doctor tells him to drop his trousers and pants and bend over, whereupon examining the man the doc exclaims “You’re right it is a golf ball and it’s gone up a fairway”.
Reverting back to the OP - Boom! Boom!
Is it PotG?
Thrifty non-licker
"Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that".
Baldseagull
Well-known member
Explosive Diarrhoea?
lawros left foot
Glory hunting since 1969
Give the bloke a break.
He probably shelled out a lot of brass for that experience, and it ended up not being the blast he expected.
I don’t want to jump the gun, but I wouldn’t expect him to go another round with that thing. Although he could be a bit trigger happy and bite the bullet and give it another go.
He probably shelled out a lot of brass for that experience, and it ended up not being the blast he expected.
I don’t want to jump the gun, but I wouldn’t expect him to go another round with that thing. Although he could be a bit trigger happy and bite the bullet and give it another go.
Raleigh Chopper
New member
Typical of the service that GPs give today, shocking they just don't care and kept this poor bloke waiting for weeks with a snake up his arse.
The NHS is on its knees.
Tories out!
Winker
CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE
Being pedantic, that's not a mortar shell, it's an anti-tank shot. The 6pdr gun had a 57mm caliber.
British mortars were 2", 3" or 4.5".
British mortars were 2", 3" or 4.5".
clapham_gull
Legacy Fan
- Aug 20, 2003
- 25,466
Length isn't everything.