[Help] Spreading butter and margarine.

Psychobilly freakout · Oct 22, 2021

This may seem an odd thing to ask the good folks of NSC, but where better can one ask a simple question and get flamed in a light hearted way.

Now for nearly a year now, I have noticed that when making sandwiches I struggle with the butter or margarine right from the get go of scooping it out, not only does it just now seem to just slide off the knife hitting the counter or floor, but I have difficulty spreading it to my satisfaction, it is uneven and I feel it extra slippery, I just don't know what is wrong, I fear it is old age as I do not seem to recall this problem a few years ago. The butter just does not spread evenly across the bread anymore.

Do they now put extra slippery stuff in butter and margarine ?

Or should I just take myself down the day centre or go to a quite wood and just hang myself, as it nothing more than old age (52) and it is just one long slippery slope from here on in ?

The Rattler · Oct 22, 2021

North Stand Pat?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Cowfold Seagull · Oct 22, 2021

Old? I only wish that l was 52 again!

PeterOut · Oct 22, 2021

Try using a spoon?
Lift it out of the container carefully, tip it onto the bread, and spread it with the back of the spoon?

Alternatively, just hold the tub over the bread, flip the tub over and let the heat of your hands soften the contents so that the whole lump falls onto the bread. Add your sandwich filling, put another piece of bread on top (unless you are going for a fancy 'continental' open sandwich), and away you go.

You will need very, very thick bread for the second approach to work well - and perhaps put your cardiologist on speed dial on your phone?

Happy to have been of service

zefarelly · Oct 22, 2021

What about drizzling Garlic infused extra virgin oil on your bruschetta?

chiedendo per un amico

Is it PotG? · Oct 22, 2021

Eric the meek · Oct 22, 2021

Unevenly spread butter?? You're just playing at it.

It's when you step out of the house with one shoe on and one slipper on, that you know you're approaching the finishing line.

Stat Brother · Oct 22, 2021

F**kin hell wot is this shite.

We've got our biggest game EVER, tomorrow.
This is a Brighton forum.
To talk about Brighton.
And we've got 'I now can't spread margarine on my arse'.

It makes my pi$$ boil.

Keep up the good work.

TWOCHOICEStom · Oct 22, 2021

Max 10 posts until our resident Swede is here recommending one of THESE bad boys.

If you know. you know.

Is it PotG? · Oct 22, 2021

Stat Brother said:
F**kin hell wot is this shite.

We've got our biggest game EVER, tomorrow.
This is a Brighton forum.
To talk about Brighton.
And we've got 'I now can't spread margarine on my arse'.

It makes my pi$$ boil.

Keep up the good work.

I Can't Believe (1) you're being an Anchor (2) about this, it would be Utterly (3) brilliant and we'll all be in Clover (4) if we win. We don't know what's Lurpaking (4½) around the corner.

Psychobilly freakout · Oct 22, 2021

Stat Brother said:
It makes my pi$$ boil.Keep up the good work.

Ooooo...

Hot piss, you must be old as well.

Cowfold Seagull · Oct 22, 2021

zefarelly said:
What about drizzling Garlic infused extra virgin oil on your bruschetta?

chiedendo per un amico

Or lard perhaps? That definately won't slide off the spoon.

Swansman · Oct 22, 2021

TWOCHOICEStom said:
Max 10 posts until our resident Swede is here recommending one of THESE bad boys.

If you know. you know.

View attachment 141461

What? You dont have that in England??

I knew that cheese cutters...

... are unusual outside of Scandinavia. But how is butter knives not a thing over there?

BN9 BHA · Oct 22, 2021

Leave the butter out of the fridge for half and hour to an hour before using, this is what I do before making a sandwich.

Stat Brother · Oct 22, 2021

Psychobilly freakout said:
Ooooo...

Hot piss, you must be old as well.

Where's the off button?

studio150 · Oct 22, 2021

Psychobilly freakout said:
Do they now put extra slippery stuff in butter and margarine ?

If you are using spreadable butter, then yes they do, as it includes rapeseed oil to enable you to spread straight from the fridge.

Although of being of a certain age, I would have thought that when most homes only had larders rather than fridges you would have been a dab hand at spreading butter during the summer months when you could basically just pour it onto bread.

Still this is all far better than trying to spread butter which was rock solid from the fridge, which for me anyway, always seemed to result in a slice of bread that was just hanging together with holes everywhere.

Psychobilly freakout · Oct 22, 2021

bn9 bha said:
Leave the butter out of the fridge for half and hour to an hour before using, this is what I do before making a sandwich.

I do, it is actually left in a butter dish & top on the counter all the time.

TWOCHOICEStom · Oct 22, 2021

Swansman said:
What? You dont have that in England??

I knew that cheese cutters...

View attachment 141462

... are unusual outside of Scandinavia. But how is butter knives not a thing over there?

You forget I am also here in the land of the enlightened. Sending thoughts and prayers to all those back at home who don't have access to these life changing tools.

grubbyhands · Oct 22, 2021

I used to know a girl called Flora.....she used to spread'em

happypig · Oct 22, 2021

Stainless steel washed in a dishwasher will become very "slippery"; the butter slides off it.
Use a carbon steel or rough it up a bit with a brillo pad.

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[Help] Spreading butter and margarine.

HellBilly

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Staring at the rude boys

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