[Humour] Predict the first game GPott has no available strikers, and why?

Stat Brother · Sep 1, 2021

Obviously route one is:-

Leicester (h)

Welbeck - injury.
Maupay - suspended.
Connolly - Hairdressers appointment.

But Shirley, to lift the gloom, we can be more creative than that.

Nobby Cybergoat · Sep 1, 2021

Norwich A

In the press conference after ... "Jakub is a player we know can play in a number of positions" ....

Is it PotG? · Sep 1, 2021

I can see a scenario where the WHOLE squad is crocked, where will we be then, eh?

BN9 BHA · Sep 1, 2021

Stat Brother said:
Obviously route one is:-

Leicester (h)

Welbeck - injury.
Maupay - suspended.
Connolly - Hairdressers appointment or court appearance.

But Shirley, to lift the gloom, we can be more creative than that.

Slight edit

sparkie · Sep 1, 2021

Connolly can let his hair down and really enjoy himself now.

We can hardly suspend him with only Welbeck and Maupay as alternatives.

Perhaps it would be a good idea not to sell Locadia until January.

Silverhatch · Sep 1, 2021

If this happens then Ferguson and or Emmerson will be the PL World feature because they’ll get a game.

Icy Gull · Sep 1, 2021

sparkie said:
Connolly can let his hair down and really enjoy himself now.

We can hardly suspend him with only Welbeck and Maupay as alternatives.

Perhaps it would be a good idea not to sell Locadia until January.

I would prefer to see Locadia in the team over Connolly, there I said it

Swansman · Sep 1, 2021

Most PL teams got two "established" strikers with one or two youngsters and/or one or two other players capable of playing in that position.

Most often that is enough but just like pretty much any other PL team, obviously it could happen that all three or four "main" options are injured. It happens, just like it sometimes happens that a team suffers a goalkeeper crisis. So it could obviously happen that Maupay, Welbeck, Connolly and Trossard are injured at the same time - its just not very likely and hence its not really worth making a prediction.

Stat Brother · Sep 1, 2021

Leicester (h)

We're 6-0 up v Brentford.
Inexplicably they're all on the pitch.
Even more bizarre they each have 2 goals.

On the 89th minute Lamptey gets upended for a penalty.

The resulting 3 way fight for the hattrick results in

1x career ender
1x season ender.
1x emergency trip to the hairdresser's.

(We go onto miss the penalty, but trot out winners 6-5, after a nerve jangling injury time)

5th up on MOTD.

Nobby Cybergoat · Sep 1, 2021

Swansman said:
Most PL teams got two "established" strikers with one or two youngsters and/or one or two other players capable of playing in that position.

Most often that is enough but just like pretty much any other PL team, obviously it could happen that all three or four "main" options are injured. It happens, just like it sometimes happens that a team suffers a goalkeeper crisis. So it could obviously happen that Maupay, Welbeck, Connolly and Trossard are injured at the same time - its just not very likely and hence its not really worth making a prediction.

But it is a bit more likely given what we know about these players in particular

I think they're weaknesses have been well written about on other threads, but we're now in a situation where we've got to get through a season without injury, suspension or disciplinary issues (as well as horrific losses of form) with players we know full well frequently suffer these things.

We've cocked this up

schmunk · Sep 1, 2021

FA Cup Final

They're all on strike. Or off strike. Errr...? :shrug:

Stat Brother · Sep 1, 2021

Nobby Cybergoat said:
But it is a bit more likely given what we know about these players in particular

I think they're weaknesses have been well written about on other threads, but we're now in a situation where we've got to get through a season without injury, suspension or disciplinary issues (as well as horrific losses of form) with players we know full well frequently suffer these things.

We've cocked this up

Don't bother Vagabond.

It's a thread in the subsection 'humour'.
The opening post has a less than funny 'hairdresser' joke.
Then asks for more creative writing.

Some posters would rather play the man not the ball, all rather sad really.

GT49er · Sep 1, 2021

What's that - no strikers? Doom and Destruction, despair and desolation! Barber/Potter/Ashworth/Bloom* out (* - pick your own selection). They don't know what they're doing, we're going down.

YAWN....................

METALMICKY · Sep 1, 2021

Stat Brother said:
Leicester (h)

We're 6-0 up v Brentford.
Inexplicably they're all on the pitch.
Even more bizarre they each have 2 goals.

On the 89th minute Lamptey gets upended for a penalty.

The resulting 3 way fight for the hattrick results in

1x career ender
1x season ender.
1x emergency trip to the hairdresser's.

(We go onto miss the penalty, but trot out winners 6-5, after a nerve jangling injury time)

5th up on MOTD.

Now that's a classic encounter!

ConfusedGloryHunter · Sep 1, 2021

Surely anyone on strike is by definition making themselves unavailable for work?

A1X · Sep 1, 2021

Palace (A)

Maupay suspended after giving Vardy a "Glasgow kiss" the week before
Welbeck injured after a gust of wind blows him over
Connolly side-lined with an unidentified "illness"
Locadia double-booked at PRYZM for a DJ set

Edouard scores a hat-trick

The resulting meltdown makes Chernobyl look like a Lidl own-brand firework going off

Stat Brother · Sep 1, 2021

A1X said:
Palace (A)

Edouard scores a hat-trick

The resulting meltdown makes Chernobyl look like a Lidl own-brand firework going off

Palace (A) - Good shout.

Rogero · Sep 1, 2021

Lamptey would be brilliant up front.

The Optimist · Sep 1, 2021

Swansman said:
Most PL teams got two "established" strikers with one or two youngsters and/or one or two other players capable of playing in that position.

Most often that is enough but just like pretty much any other PL team, obviously it could happen that all three or four "main" options are injured. It happens, just like it sometimes happens that a team suffers a goalkeeper crisis. So it could obviously happen that Maupay, Welbeck, Connolly and Trossard are injured at the same time - its just not very likely and hence its not really worth making a prediction.

Trossard is not a striker. Welbeck is injury prone. Therefore we just need Maupay and Connolly out at the same time to be at serious risk of not having a fit striker.

beorhthelm · Sep 1, 2021

Swansman said:
Most PL teams got two "established" strikers with one or two youngsters and/or one or two other players capable of playing in that position.

i wish we had two established strikers to start with.

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[Humour] Predict the first game GPott has no available strikers, and why?

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