[Cricket] Two in two balls?

thedonkeycentrehalf;9961 805 said:

To get hit once is unfortunate, but in successive balls....

[video]https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/cricket/58139504[/video]

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Poojah said:

I think the most painful experience of my life, and something I reminded my wife of when she was being a bit wimpy during childbirth, was during a game of five aside footy a number of years ago.

I distinctly remember going to block a shot on the edge of the D, but had to stretch a little to get my body in the way. So I've gone in sort of leaning back, legs probably wider than they should have been. In terms of what specifically happened I've only got the excruciating physical pain I endured to go on, but I'm fairly sure that as the bull is struck, my penis has basically flung itself into a flaccid yet upright position (whether it sensed the danger, I'll never know), leaving my dear old danglies completely exposed save for the fabric of my lightweight training shorts.

Had it been a kind of full on, clean impact like in the video above I don't think it would have been that bad. Instead though, it basically 'pinged' right off the bottom tip, kind of how a boxer pounds a speed bag - something like this:

View attachment 139361

Of course, they only took a single pounding, but once was enough. More than enough - I was on the deck, utterly incapacitated, unable to speak, unable to breathe. It's hard to express just how inhumanely painful it was, though bizarrely not actually in my bollocks. They were numb, to the best of my recollection, the real pain was radiating somewhere between my stomach and my lungs. It felt like my diaphragm was now on the moon.

Then came the projectile vomiting. As I was virtually paralysed by the experience, I was only able to divert my gargantuan chunder a few inches away from my face, amidst the delirious background noise of people pissing themselves with laughter at my unfortunate demise. My abiding memory of the ordeal is mound after mount of regurgitated, semi-digested tagliatelle making its way from where my stomach used to be (a space now apparently occupied by two black and swollen testacles) to nestle neatly in the unnecessarily sandy surface of an early millennium five aside pitch.

As things began to fade between a dizzy, spinning technicolour and the blackest black I've ever seen, I simply heard a voice utter the immortal words:

"Play on".

Click to expand...

dadams2k11 said:

What we all want to know is....

..... Do you play on? [emoji846]

And how long was you out of action in the bedroom?

Click to expand...

Poojah said:

I think the most painful experience of my life, and something I reminded my wife of when she was being a bit wimpy during childbirth, was during a game of five aside footy a number of years ago.

I distinctly remember going to block a shot on the edge of the D, but had to stretch a little to get my body in the way. So I've gone in sort of leaning back, legs probably wider than they should have been. In terms of what specifically happened I've only got the excruciating physical pain I endured to go on, but I'm fairly sure that as the bull is struck, my penis has basically flung itself into a flaccid yet upright position (whether it sensed the danger, I'll never know), leaving my dear old danglies completely exposed save for the fabric of my lightweight training shorts.

Had it been a kind of full on, clean impact like in the video above I don't think it would have been that bad. Instead though, it basically 'pinged' right off the bottom tip, kind of how a boxer pounds a speed bag - something like this:

View attachment 139361

Of course, they only took a single pounding, but once was enough. More than enough - I was on the deck, utterly incapacitated, unable to speak, unable to breathe. It's hard to express just how inhumanely painful it was, though bizarrely not actually in my bollocks. They were numb, to the best of my recollection, the real pain was radiating somewhere between my stomach and my lungs. It felt like my diaphragm was now on the moon.

Then came the projectile vomiting. As I was virtually paralysed by the experience, I was only able to divert my gargantuan chunder a few inches away from my face, amidst the delirious background noise of people pissing themselves with laughter at my unfortunate demise. My abiding memory of the ordeal is mound after mount of regurgitated, semi-digested tagliatelle making its way from where my stomach used to be (a space now apparently occupied by two black and swollen testacles) to nestle neatly in the unnecessarily sandy surface of an early millennium five aside pitch.

As things began to fade between a dizzy, spinning technicolour and the blackest black I've ever seen, I simply heard a voice utter the immortal words:

"Play on".

Click to expand...

thedonkeycentrehalf;9961 805 said:

To get hit once is unfortunate, but in successive balls....

[video]https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/cricket/58139504[/video]

Click to expand...

Poojah said:

I think the most painful experience of my life, and something I reminded my wife of when she was being a bit wimpy during childbirth, was during a game of five aside footy a number of years ago.

I distinctly remember going to block a shot on the edge of the D, but had to stretch a little to get my body in the way. So I've gone in sort of leaning back, legs probably wider than they should have been. In terms of what specifically happened I've only got the excruciating physical pain I endured to go on, but I'm fairly sure that as the bull is struck, my penis has basically flung itself into a flaccid yet upright position (whether it sensed the danger, I'll never know), leaving my dear old danglies completely exposed save for the fabric of my lightweight training shorts.

Had it been a kind of full on, clean impact like in the video above I don't think it would have been that bad. Instead though, it basically 'pinged' right off the bottom tip, kind of how a boxer pounds a speed bag - something like this:

View attachment 139361

Of course, they only took a single pounding, but once was enough. More than enough - I was on the deck, utterly incapacitated, unable to speak, unable to breathe. It's hard to express just how inhumanely painful it was, though bizarrely not actually in my bollocks. They were numb, to the best of my recollection, the real pain was radiating somewhere between my stomach and my lungs. It felt like my diaphragm was now on the moon.

Then came the projectile vomiting. As I was virtually paralysed by the experience, I was only able to divert my gargantuan chunder a few inches away from my face, amidst the delirious background noise of people pissing themselves with laughter at my unfortunate demise. My abiding memory of the ordeal is mound after mount of regurgitated, semi-digested tagliatelle making its way from where my stomach used to be (a space now apparently occupied by two black and swollen testacles) to nestle neatly in the unnecessarily sandy surface of an early millennium five aside pitch.

As things began to fade between a dizzy, spinning technicolour and the blackest black I've ever seen, I simply heard a voice utter the immortal words:

"Play on".

Click to expand...

Poojah said:

I think the most painful experience of my life, and something I reminded my wife of when she was being a bit wimpy during childbirth, was during a game of five aside footy a number of years ago.

I distinctly remember going to block a shot on the edge of the D, but had to stretch a little to get my body in the way. So I've gone in sort of leaning back, legs probably wider than they should have been. In terms of what specifically happened I've only got the excruciating physical pain I endured to go on, but I'm fairly sure that as the bull is struck, my penis has basically flung itself into a flaccid yet upright position (whether it sensed the danger, I'll never know), leaving my dear old danglies completely exposed save for the fabric of my lightweight training shorts.

Had it been a kind of full on, clean impact like in the video above I don't think it would have been that bad. Instead though, it basically 'pinged' right off the bottom tip, kind of how a boxer pounds a speed bag - something like this:

View attachment 139361

Of course, they only took a single pounding, but once was enough. More than enough - I was on the deck, utterly incapacitated, unable to speak, unable to breathe. It's hard to express just how inhumanely painful it was, though bizarrely not actually in my bollocks. They were numb, to the best of my recollection, the real pain was radiating somewhere between my stomach and my lungs. It felt like my diaphragm was now on the moon.

Then came the projectile vomiting. As I was virtually paralysed by the experience, I was only able to divert my gargantuan chunder a few inches away from my face, amidst the delirious background noise of people pissing themselves with laughter at my unfortunate demise. My abiding memory of the ordeal is mound after mount of regurgitated, semi-digested tagliatelle making its way from where my stomach used to be (a space now apparently occupied by two black and swollen testacles) to nestle neatly in the unnecessarily sandy surface of an early millennium five aside pitch.

As things began to fade between a dizzy, spinning technicolour and the blackest black I've ever seen, I simply heard a voice utter the immortal words:

"Play on".

Click to expand...

Baldseagull said:

Perry Digweed in goal for Albion played on, after a hammering to the nuts, until blood started running down his leg.

Click to expand...

happypig said:

I was watching a match, early 80s, when one of the australians took one in the spuds and Richie Benaud's first words were "There's one ball left"

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Superphil said:

Think it was his chap and his kids. Gary Chivers said it looked nasty, but the swelling was impressive. IIRC we didn't have a keeper on the bench so one of the outfield players went in goal while our reserve keeper who was in the stands eating a pie legged it to the dressing room got changed and finished the game, or is that fanciful Gary Chivers embellishment?

Click to expand...