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[Misc] The last time I spoke to a copper….



Codner's Wallop

Codner's Wallop

Well-known member
Sep 11, 2013
1,431
I was taking an early stroll along the beach yesterday morning and when I walked back up the shingle, I saw a copper standing, looking out to sea. He asked me about the area in which I lived and we had a brief and pleasant chat before he drove away. Previous to that I’d spoke to a guy dressed as a copper returning from a fancy dress party. It was around three years ago. I was a radio show producer for many years and it reminds me of the occasion we asked our audience ‘When was the last time to you spoke to a copper?’. Predictably many routine answers, a couple more serious responses and also some very funny and obscure answers. My favourite being ‘in an Ann Summers shop after being called out to a disturbance’. Called explained he had been the only one in the shop, along with his very bemused and embarrassed wife. It transpired the copper had gone to the wrong shop. Wife was holding up some saucy undies when the copper walked in…

So….THE LAST TIME I SPOKE TO A COPPER WAS…..
 
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Westdene Seagull

Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Patron
Oct 27, 2003
21,003
The arse end of Hangleton
How do you "stand out to sea" ? Last fella that did that got nailed to a cross !
 












jakarta

jakarta

Well-known member
May 25, 2007
15,623
Sullington
I do Sussex, Surrey and Hants TFI Firing Ranges for ventilation tests & lead exposure monitoing so several times a year, think the last range I did was Gatwick in May.

Those G36's have quite a crack to them!
 


phoenix

phoenix

Well-known member
May 18, 2009
2,605
He said to me .Were you at Centenary hose last year ?
 




elwheelio

elwheelio

Amateur Sleuth
Jan 24, 2006
1,892
Brighton
I've got a mate who is a detective in the MET. It sounds horrendous.
 


Justice

Justice

Dangerous Idiot
Jun 21, 2012
18,609
Born In Shoreham
About two weeks ago it was a hot day and we both had our windows down, the copper said ‘ you could do with some air in your back tyre’ I replied with ‘ mind your own f…..g business ‘ :D
Back to reality I said cheers I will sort it and off he went.
 


Official Old Man

Official Old Man

Uckfield Seagull
Aug 27, 2011
8,542
Brighton
First weekend after freedom day. Armed guys had parked at the Palace Pier entrance and were leaning on their car. I had to swing the van round hard to miss them, driving very very slowly. As a joke, and we all do it, I put one hand up to my face as an exclamation of being close to his car (I wasn't). He came up to me and said 'I could do you for driving without due care and attention' and he was very serious. I opened my mouth to speak but thought better of it. Closed the window, put on my flashers and sat very still for a minute. Then decided I'd not stay but just drove off. Think he was having a bad day.
 






Gabbafella

Gabbafella

Well-known member
Aug 22, 2012
4,683
A couple of years back we had some pathetic little scrote running around the flats, shooting out windows with an air rifle, so I called the police. As soon as a gun was mentioned, the urgency in which they responded was unreal.
Within 3-4 minutes, the road was cordoned off, armed response vehicles at the entrance to the building, people looking out the windows being shouted at to close the windows and stay indoors, floor by floor searches with armed officers covering exits. They eventually knocked on my door and asked what happened, I showed them all the holes in the windows and then proceeded to have a lengthy conversation with one of them about his H&K G36, it was lovely but he wouldn't let me hold it for some selfish reason.
Amazing service, obviously very serious faces all-round but extremely thorough and professional.
 


B

Bodian

Well-known member
May 3, 2012
11,801
Cumbria
Justice said:
About two weeks ago it was a hot day and we both had our windows down, the copper said ‘ you could do with some air in your back tyre’ I replied with ‘ mind your own f…..g business ‘ :D
Back to reality I said cheers I will sort it and off he went.
Click to expand...

I once saw a police car brake and turn round, on of the lights didn't work, so when it came back up past me I flagged him down. I said 'Are you aware Officer, that your offside brake-light isn't working and needs replacing - I think that's an offence'. He told me to f-off and drove off at speed.
 






BN9 BHA

BN9 BHA

DOCKERS
NSC Patron
Jul 14, 2013
21,530
Newhaven
Gabbafella said:
A couple of years back we had some pathetic little scrote running around the flats, shooting out windows with an air rifle, so I called the police. As soon as a gun was mentioned, the urgency in which they responded was unreal.
Within 3-4 minutes, the road was cordoned off, armed response vehicles at the entrance to the building, people looking out the windows being shouted at to close the windows and stay indoors, floor by floor searches with armed officers covering exits. They eventually knocked on my door and asked what happened, I showed them all the holes in the windows and then proceeded to have a lengthy conversation with one of them about his H&K G36, it was lovely but he wouldn't let me hold it for some selfish reason.
Amazing service, obviously very serious faces all-round but extremely thorough and professional.
Click to expand...

Did they catch the scrote with the air rifle?
 


Justice

Justice

Dangerous Idiot
Jun 21, 2012
18,609
Born In Shoreham
Another occasion I got pulled for speeding about 2am elephant and castle area, they were serious until he noticed I was a sparks true story he booked me in for some outside lighting in his garden. Needless to say I didn’t get done for speeding.
 






Gabbafella

Gabbafella

Well-known member
Aug 22, 2012
4,683
bn9 bha said:
Did they catch the scrote with the air rifle?
Click to expand...

Not sure, they couldn't really tell me too much. The windows being shot out stopped that evening though so if they weren't caught, they were sufficiently scared enough into not doing it again.
 




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