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[Humour] 'What The Public Really Want To Hear Is.....'



Eeyore

Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
23,587
As another crisis hits the government's many faces, the inevitable sponge of ''What the public really want to hear is.....' will doubtless wipe the residue and the silliness of accountability will slide away as our attentions are re-focused on what really matters.

But the question is.

What DO the public want to hear ?

Ben White in the starting line-up on Tuesday ?

When a sign says roadworks on the motorway that there might be an indication that some work is actually going on ?

Quality Street produced with a least 25% being the purple wrappers ?

What is it that we want to play such sweet music to our ears ?
 




Barham's tash

Barham's tash

Well-known member
Jun 8, 2013
3,615
Rayners Lane
Personally announcement of a 4 day week to improve productivity and work life balance.

Financial relief back dated to beginning of the pandemic for those who took the plunge, like my wife, and started their own business in January last year only to be told when lockdown stopped her working (she’s a reflexologist/holistic therapist) sorry because you weren’t doing this for the previous 3 years there is NO financial support for you.

Better accountability for the shocking way the NHS were forced to down tools on critical care* for non Covid patients at the time of the pandemic as I certainly feel my brother in law might still be here if that wasn’t the case.

*this then led to hundreds of specialist doctors twiddling their thumbs as their patients died or conditions worsened to such an extent that we now have a backlog on critical care pathways akin to ten years underinvestment.

Sorry I know that’s all a bit me me me. But lack of sleep and lots of thinking time last night!
 


C

Cheeky Monkey

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2003
23,037
In vaguely unrelated news, do cab drivers, big rig drivers and Range Rover drivers know something the rest of us don’t in ignoring the speed restrictions through motorway roadworks that are overseen by average speed check cameras?
 


Icy Gull

Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster
Jul 5, 2003
72,015
You can go to the Amex and watch the mighty Albion play in front of 30k fans, that will mean that so many other things are going well too.
 


AmexRuislip

AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,823
Ruislip
That the HS2 is actually a conservation exercise, to build tunnels across the UK for the animals to use, so they don't get hit by drunk drivers....
 




M

m@goo

New member
Feb 20, 2020
1,056
That the government and monarchy has been overthrown and we've put Sir David Attenborough in charge.
 




el punal

el punal

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2012
11,790
Bitterne,Southampton. In the land of wrong stripes
Brighton Lines said:
As another crisis hits the government's many faces, the inevitable sponge of ''What the public really want to hear is.....' will doubtless wipe the residue and the silliness of accountability will slide away as our attentions are re-focused on what really matters.

But the question is.

What DO the public want to hear ?

Ben White in the starting line-up on Tuesday ?

When a sign says roadworks on the motorway that there might be an indication that some work is actually going on ?

Quality Street produced with a least 25% being the purple wrappers ?

What is it that we want to play such sweet music to our ears ?
Click to expand...

Amazing scenes at the Amex as Brighton and Hove Albion are crowned Premier League Champions for the 2021/22 season with a record number of wins, unbeaten, and the highest ever number of goals scored.
 




Westdene Seagull

Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Patron
Oct 27, 2003
21,027
The arse end of Hangleton
Kelly Brook to be in Hangleton for the night. The public would love to hear that .... well everyone bar Mrs WS :whistle:
 




zefarelly

zefarelly

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
21,824
Sussex, by the sea
AmexRuislip said:
That the HS2 is actually a conservation exercise, to build tunnels across the UK for the animals to use, so they don't get hit by drunk drivers....
Click to expand...

I'd prefer the Euro way, build bridges and tunnels, leave nature largely to their own devices.
 




zefarelly

zefarelly

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
21,824
Sussex, by the sea
Barham's tash said:
Personally announcement of a 4 day week to improve productivity and work life balance.


Sorry I know that’s all a bit me me me. But lack of sleep and lots of thinking time last night!
Click to expand...

I did 2 months of 4 day week, got loads of work done on the house at home, daog walkes, down time, workshop time etc, it really is the nuts compared to a 5 day week. If I could negotiate an extra 1/2hr a day and a small pay cut for a 4 day week I'd be in like FLynn

Several colleagues approaching or past first retirement do 3 and 4 day weeks. It is the way forward.

It seems to fit the bill financially as well, a lot of people can't afford to fully retire, but are at an age where they probably don't need the stress and strain of a 5 day week
 


A1X

A1X

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 1, 2017
17,836
Deepest, darkest Sussex
"Piers Morgan today announced his immediate and total withdrawal from public life"
 






Knocky's Nose

Knocky's Nose

Mon nez est en Valenciennes..
May 7, 2017
4,137
Eastbourne
"In an unprecedented interview with an actual Virus today COVID 19 declared it was bored and wanted to go back to the Lab in Wuhan where it was safe and warm..."
 


Blue Valkyrie

Blue Valkyrie

Not seen such Bravery!
Sep 1, 2012
32,165
Valhalla
What I really want to hear of is a cabinet level resignation.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
50,142
Faversham
'We' are far too diverse for there to be one (or even 5) things that we are all hankering for above all others.

Unfortunately however there does still seem to be a majority (shrinking I hope) that really want to hear nothing more than these five jems....

1. We have a world-beating vaccination programme

2. Freedom day is just around the corner

3. We shouldn't be talking this great country down

4. Controlling our borders, free to trade with whoever we like

5. Whereas under Corbyn Labour.....
 


studio150

studio150

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2011
29,628
On the Border
Brighton Lines said:
What DO the public want to hear ?
Click to expand...

The truth from politicians combined with no false promises.
And although it's probably asking too much, politicians always to give full answers to the question asked.

Oh and,

Toblerone reverts back to the its original shape.
Snickers and other chocolate bars revert back to their original names.
All football games that are moved from 3pm Saturday and 7.45pm on Tuesday/Wednesday for television coverage become free games for all fans attending and refunds are issued with 24 hours of the fame.
No more serious of Mrs Browns Boys are aired and all existing shows are wiped clean never to be shown again.
 






Barham's tash

Barham's tash

Well-known member
Jun 8, 2013
3,615
Rayners Lane
studio150 said:
The truth from politicians combined with no false promises.
And although it's probably asking too much, politicians always to give full answers to the question asked.

Oh and,

Toblerone reverts back to the its original shape.
Snickers and other chocolate bars revert back to their original names.
All football games that are moved from 3pm Saturday and 7.45pm on Tuesday/Wednesday for television coverage become free games for all fans attending and refunds are issued with 24 hours of the fame.
No more serious of Mrs Browns Boys are aired and all existing shows are wiped clean never to be shown again.
Click to expand...

Have you considered running for office?!
 


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