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[Football] For what duration of a match could an elite side hide a pub player?



Guinness Boy

Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
34,187
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Random thought inspired partly by those subs where a substitute gets about 2 mins of added on time to play as the change is to waste time or give a player who has had a blinder an ovation by himself.

I've always thought the chances of the sub influencing play with running, let alone touching the ball in that time would be minimal and they could, in theory, be anyone.

So let's take me. Late 40s, overweight, best standard played Taipei Premier Pub and Expat League. I'm shit. Obviously if I came on in a Premier League or Champions League game, even for 2 minutes I'd have to be "hidden". Goalkeeper or wingback would be off the agenda. It would have to be up front or in the "make a nuisance of yourself" role. But pretty soon I'd be found out, as with any pub player.

So how long would it take before your average Sunday Leaguer or "never had been" came on and seriously ****ed shit up for an elite side running the clock down in possession of a desired result?
 




Eeyore

Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
23,578
If they have to play down to 10 men after a sending off I guess it could be possible. Best place would be up front as long as you stayed onside.
 


Swansman

Swansman

Pro-peace
May 13, 2019
22,320
Sweden
It depends on a lot of things. If anything was at stake, no one would pass you the ball, and if you ever for some weird reason got it it would be lost but there's always a chance of winning it back. Its basically like playing with ten men so the question is more "how long could a team play with ten men without losing?" and there's no real answer to it. In Swansea back in 18/19, Courtney Baker-Richardson was sent off in the fourth minute but Swansea still won 2-1.
 


Stat Brother

Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,715
West west west Sussex
Playing for City v Spurs probably about 90 minutes.
 


Beach Hut

Beach Hut

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 5, 2003
71,969
Living In a Box
Didn't Souness put on a sub when manager at Southampton claiming to be George Weahs brother who was so bad he was subsequently subbed therefore the answer is until you were found out then you would be subbed.

Unless you were the last sub played.......
 




Swansman

Swansman

Pro-peace
May 13, 2019
22,320
Sweden
Beach Hut said:
Didn't Souness put on a sub when manager at Southampton claiming to be George Weahs brother who was so bad he was subsequently subbed therefore the answer is until you were found out then you would be subbed.

Unless you were the last sub played.......
Click to expand...

While Ali Dia was a fraud I still think he would have been a pretty damn good pub player.
 








keaton

keaton

Big heart, hot blood and balls. Big balls
Nov 18, 2004
9,661
I'm sure Leon Best played a full 90 minutes for us at least once
 




T

timbha

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
9,901
Sussex
If you were sent on with the strict instruction to “take out” a particular player (in opponents half and when they had used all their subs) I reckon you could do a job. Just imaging the fun you’d have if your target was a certain Palace diver
 












hans kraay fan club

hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
61,322
Chandlers Ford
I fancy, up until about 10 years ago, I could have played in goal for the current Man City against a bottom three side, without getting found out.

Outfield, no chance.
 


R

Rogero

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2010
5,715
Shoreham
I few years ago there was a top player who insisted his best friend was also signed as part of the deal .I think they moved to several clubs with the latter not actually playing at all. Someone on NSC will know.
 


BNthree

BNthree

Plastic JCL
Sep 14, 2016
10,902
WeHo
Surely depends on fitness levels as unless the pub player is just stood still they’ll have to be running about. I’m late 40s and unfit so would be out of breath after jogging up and down for a minute.
 






S

scooter1

How soon is now?
Sep 12, 2006
4,731
Past the Leisure Centre, left at the lights
timbha said:
If you were sent on with the strict instruction to “take out” a particular player (in opponents half and when they had used all their subs) I reckon you could do a job. Just imaging the fun you’d have if your target was a certain Palace diver
Click to expand...

The chances are you'd never get near 'said' player.
When i was at my best, i reckon I could have lasted(and got away with 5 mins). Somewhere up front and out of the way. The speed at which players pass and move is never captured until you see them against pub players
 


Paulie Gualtieri

Paulie Gualtieri

Bada Bing
NSC Patron
May 8, 2018
9,231
Guinness Boy said:
Random thought inspired partly by those subs where a substitute gets about 2 mins of added on time to play as the change is to waste time or give a player who has had a blinder an ovation by himself.

I've always thought the chances of the sub influencing play with running, let alone touching the ball in that time would be minimal and they could, in theory, be anyone.

So let's take me. Late 40s, overweight, best standard played Taipei Premier Pub and Expat League. I'm shit. Obviously if I came on in a Premier League or Champions League game, even for 2 minutes I'd have to be "hidden". Goalkeeper or wingback would be off the agenda. It would have to be up front or in the "make a nuisance of yourself" role. But pretty soon I'd be found out, as with any pub player.

So how long would it take before your average Sunday Leaguer or "never had been" came on and seriously ****ed shit up for an elite side running the clock down in possession of a desired result?
Click to expand...

Ask Graham Souness


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