[Humour] Joke Du Jour.

Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!

Jul 7, 2003

6,882

Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!

• Mar 29, 2021

• #1

A fanatical lady Leicester City supporter decided to immortalize her heroes by having tattoos of her favourite players. She had Jamie Vardy on the top of her left thigh and Kasper Schmeichel on the top of her right thigh.
She told her boy friend - also a big Leicester fan, that she had had some tattoos done, but didn't say who of. It was going to be a surprise.
He arrived at her house and couldn't wait to see the artwork.
She duly stripped naked in front of him and asked him what he thought.
He said "I can't make out the one on the left, and I'm not a hundred percent on the one on the right, but the middle one is definitely Hamza Choudhury!"

 

Titanic

Super Moderator

Helpful Moderator

Jul 5, 2003

39,098

West Sussex

• Mar 29, 2021

• #2

I had to google Hamza Choudhury, and I still don't understand this 'joke'.

Is it something to do with soreness/bruising around newly done tattoos?

 

Gazwag

5 millionth post poster

Mar 4, 2004

30,151

Bexhill-on-Sea

• Mar 29, 2021

• #3

Titanic said:

I had to google Hamza Choudhury, and I still don't understand this 'joke'.

Is it something to do with soreness/bruising around newly done tattoos?

Click to expand...

Choudhury isn't from Brazil

 

Questions

Habitual User

Oct 18, 2006

24,893

Worthing

• Mar 29, 2021

• #4

Well I quite enjoyed the joke but expected the punchline to contain a reference to ‘coming from behind’ or something 6/10

 

Prince Monolulu

Everything in Moderation

Oct 2, 2013

10,201

The Race Hill

• Mar 29, 2021

• #5

There must be a place down there for Ünder & Fuchs.

 

T

The Optimist

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Apr 6, 2008

2,611

Lewisham

• Mar 29, 2021

• #6

Titanic said:

I had to google Hamza Choudhury, and I still don't understand this 'joke'.

Is it something to do with soreness/bruising around newly done tattoos?

Click to expand...

Big bush

 

Frankie

Put him in the curry

May 23, 2016

4,145

Mid west Wales

• Mar 29, 2021

• #7

Pity she wasn't a Newcastle fan , Jon Jo would of been a doddle .

 

Titanic

Super Moderator

Helpful Moderator

Jul 5, 2003

39,098

West Sussex

• Mar 29, 2021

• #8

Gazwag said:

Choudhury isn't from Brazil

Click to expand...

The Optimist said:

Big bush

Click to expand...

Is it a tattoo of the top of his head? Seems a bit odd to me.

 

Live by the sea

Well-known member

Oct 21, 2016

4,718

• Mar 29, 2021

• #9

My joke - Not very PC but that’s why it’s funny !

I was walking down the street and I got into an argument with a white guy who I ended up punching and I was then arrested by a police officer for assault.

The next day after I got out of jail , I became involved in another argument , this time with a black guy and I ended up punching him I was then arrested again this time for impersonating a police officer.

 

Iggle Piggle

Well-known member

Sep 3, 2010

5,334

• Mar 29, 2021

• #10

The Brighton version would be "That's definitely Bruno in the middle"

 

Prince Monolulu

Everything in Moderation

Oct 2, 2013

10,201

The Race Hill

• Mar 29, 2021

• #11

Live by the sea said:

My joke - Not very PC but that’s why it’s funny !

I was walking down the street and I got into an argument with a white guy who I ended up punching and I was then arrested by a police officer for assault.

The next day after I got out of jail , I became involved in another argument , this time with a black guy and I ended up punching him I was then arrested again this time for impersonating a police officer.

Click to expand...

A bit like any subjective matter, what's funny to one person will not be at all to another.

 

Hampden Park

Ex R.N.

Oct 7, 2003

4,989

• Mar 29, 2021

• #12

That is not fanny at all.

 

AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️

Feb 2, 2014

33,810

Ruislip

• Mar 29, 2021

• #13

Live by the sea said:

My joke - Not very PC but that’s why it’s funny !

I was walking down the street and I got into an argument with a white guy who I ended up punching and I was then arrested by a police officer for assault.

The next day after I got out of jail , I became involved in another argument , this time with a black guy and I ended up punching him I was then arrested again this time for impersonating a police officer.

Click to expand...

Not PC enough

 

The Wookiee

Back From The Dead

Nov 10, 2003

14,853

Worthing

• Mar 29, 2021

• #14

You could change this to include palace players with the last one being Zaha because he is a cvnt

 

Tom Bombadil

Well-known member

Jul 14, 2003

6,033

Jibrovia

• Mar 29, 2021

• #15

Live by the sea said:

My joke - Not very PC but that’s why it’s funny !

I was walking down the street and I got into an argument with a white guy who I ended up punching and I was then arrested by a police officer for assault.

The next day after I got out of jail , I became involved in another argument , this time with a black guy and I ended up punching him I was then arrested again this time for impersonating a police officer.

Click to expand...

That's neither un pc nor funny, but apart form that top, top work.

 

hart's shirt

Well-known member

Jul 8, 2003

10,191

Kitbag in Dubai

• Mar 29, 2021

• #16

Live by the sea said:

My joke - Not very PC but that’s why it’s funny !

I was walking down the street and I got into an argument with a white guy who I ended up punching and I was then arrested by a police officer for assault.

The next day after I got out of jail , I became involved in another argument , this time with a black guy and I ended up punching him I was then arrested again this time for impersonating a police officer.

Click to expand...

You could make it more PC by using 'constable' instead of 'officer'.

 

Washie

Well-known member

Jun 20, 2011

5,498

Eastbourne

• Mar 29, 2021

• #17

Live by the sea said:

My joke - Not very PC but that’s why it’s funny !

I was walking down the street and I got into an argument with a white guy who I ended up punching and I was then arrested by a police officer for assault.

The next day after I got out of jail , I became involved in another argument , this time with a black guy and I ended up punching him I was then arrested again this time for impersonating a police officer.

Click to expand...

When are you going to tell your joke.

Sent from my SM-G781B using Tapatalk

 

LANGDON SEAGULL

Well-known member

Dec 9, 2004

3,424

Langdon Hills

• Mar 29, 2021

• #18

I know a Latin American singer who goes to the Kingpower stadium a lot . Gloria Leicester-fan


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Live by the sea

Well-known member

Oct 21, 2016

4,718

• Mar 29, 2021

• #19

Always liked her music .

 

S

Sirnormangall

Well-known member

Sep 21, 2017

2,969

• Mar 29, 2021

• #20

hart's shirt said:

You could make it more PC by using 'constable' instead of 'officer'.

Click to expand...

Yes, like Constable Savage.