[Humour] Scotland / Northern Ireland Tunnel

WATFORD zero · Feb 15, 2021

Don't know how long this will last on the main board, but thought it was too good to be hidden in the Bear Pit

'Put the hallucinogenics down': Prospect of undersea tunnel between Scotland and Northern Ireland debunked

Conservative MP Simon Hoare, chairman of the Northern Ireland Select Committee, yesterday dismissed the idea of an undersea tunnel as fanciful and said the government's focus should be on making the protocol work.

"The trains could be pulled by an inexhaustible herd of Unicorns overseen by stern, officious dodos," he tweeted."A PushmePullYou could be the senior guard and Puff the Magic Dragon the inspector. Let’s concentrate on making the protocol work and put the hallucinogenics down."

He later tweeted that there are several practical barriers in the way of the rail project.

"Also another 'minor hurdle' is the NI railway gauge is an 'all Ireland' gauge which is different to that used in GB," he tweeted. "I’m not Brunel but I think this might be a bit of a problem."

https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/19090665.put-hallucinogenics-down-prospect-undersea-tunnel-scotland-northern-ireland-debunked/

:lolol:

Tom Bombadil · Feb 15, 2021

Boris couldn't get a bridge built across the Thames, I don't think we need waste any time on his Irish tunnel scheme

ATFC Seagull · Feb 15, 2021

Completely pointless. If you look at the Channel Tunnel, it is a sensible route for pretty much anyone who is travelling from Europe to Britain or Ireland - unless you are travelling from Scandinavia and want to end up in the North of England/Scotland.

Whereas even travelling to Northern Ireland from most parts of England and Wales it would still be easier getting the ferry to Dublin and then driving up.

I bet it would be fun on Rangers-Celtic match days though.

hans kraay fan club · Feb 15, 2021

The sea there is 5 x deeper than the channel tunnel route, and is full of dumped WWII munitions.

File under "Utter nonsense, designed to distract the moronic masses"

Cheshire Cat · Feb 15, 2021

Where do we put the border?

Who would want to go anywhere. Regardless of getting to NornIron, you have to pass through Scottyland first - which is a long way from anywhere civilized.

Swansman · Feb 15, 2021

ATFC Seagull said:
Completely pointless. If you look at the Channel Tunnel, it is a sensible route for pretty much anyone who is travelling from Europe to Britain or Ireland - unless you are travelling from Scandinavia and want to end up in the North of England/Scotland.

Whereas even travelling to Northern Ireland from most parts of England and Wales it would still be easier getting the ferry to Dublin and then driving up.

I bet it would be fun on Rangers-Celtic match days though.

How would a tunnel between NI and Scotland help people travelling from Scandinavia?

ATFC Seagull · Feb 15, 2021

Swansman said:
How would a tunnel between NI and Scotland help people travelling from Scandinavia?

It wouldn't. The Channel Tunnel is the one between Folkestone and Calais.

Thunder Bolt · Feb 15, 2021

hans kraay fan club said:
The sea there is 5 x deeper than the channel tunnel route, and is full of dumped WWII munitions.

File under "Utter nonsense, designed to distract the moronic masses"

The seabed is also granite, not soft chalk like the English Channel seabed. It's a non starter.

This is a minor point (excuse the pun)

[tweet]1350769471942754305[/tweet]

Gwylan · Feb 15, 2021

hans kraay fan club said:
The sea there is 5 x deeper than the channel tunnel route, and is full of dumped WWII munitions.

File under "Utter nonsense, designed to distract the moronic masses"

[A pedant writes] It's not quite as bad as that, it's about three or four times deeper. Beaufort's Dyke is 300m below sea level while the Channel Tunnel at its lowest is 115m. Obviously an Irish tunnel would have to go deeper but not five times.

It's clearly a non-starter though. It's not just the depth and the munitions, there's also the lack of any infrastructure on either side and the lack of transport links. It would also take at least a decade to build, probably longer: NI and Scotland could be completely different countries by then.

WATFORD zero · Feb 15, 2021

Gwylan said:
[A pedant writes] It's not quite as bad as that, it's about three or four times deeper. Beaufort's Dyke is 300m below sea level while the Channel Tunnel at its lowest is 115m. Obviously an Irish tunnel would have to go deeper but not five times.

It's clearly a non-starter though. It's not just the depth and the munitions, there's also the lack of any infrastructure on either side and the lack of transport links. It would also take at least a decade to build, probably longer: NI and Scotland could be completely different countries by then.

Is everyone here on drugs ? I thought sourcing the PushmePullyou would be a problem and I'm sure Puff must be retired by now, he was working when I was a kid. These are the real issues

nwgull · Feb 15, 2021

As mentioned above, a tunnel across the narrowest part of the Channel comes out near Dover, which is already a very busy port and not far from London and worth spending the money on for both freight and passengers. The only feasible crossing for an NI - UK tunnel however, brings the tunnel out at Stranrear, which is in the middle of nowhere and a town that none of us had ever heard of outside of the classified football results read by James Alexander Gordon.

Tom Hark Preston Park · Feb 15, 2021

Sounds about the dumbest idea ever. Who would want such a thing, let alone pay for its construction? Sounds about as practial as the Newhaven-Dieppe ferry. Probably quite fun to use tho :thumbsup:

Gwylan · Feb 15, 2021

WATFORD zero said:
Is everyone here on drugs ? I thought sourcing the PushmePullyou would be a problem and I'm sure Puff must be retired by now, he was working when I was a kid. These are the real issues

Nah, the PushmePullyou can be found with the unicorns on the same sunlit uplands of Brexit

dazzer6666 · Feb 15, 2021

Don't need to go underground though - should just put in a nice glass tunnel resting on the sea bed (a larger version of the kind of thing you can walk through at Seaworld), so whilst the many millions making their usual journey from Scotland to NI can look at the abundant fish as they hurtle Westwards.

WATFORD zero · Feb 15, 2021

dazzer6666 said:
Don't need to go underground though - should just put in a nice glass tunnel resting on the sea bed (a larger version of the kind of thing you can walk through at Seaworld), so whilst the many millions making their usual journey from Scotland to NI can look at the abundant fish as they hurtle Westwards.

You should certainly be on the design team (maybe heading it up). Just the sort of positive thinking Johnson is looking for :thumbsup:

RexCathedra · Feb 15, 2021

By the time it gets past the planning stage, it will connect two EU member states.

dazzer6666 · Feb 15, 2021

WATFORD zero said:
You should certainly be on the design team (maybe heading it up). Just the sort of positive thinking Johnson is looking for

I can make myself available at the normal consulting rates the Government pays........

Thunder Bolt · Feb 15, 2021

nwgull said:
As mentioned above, a tunnel across the narrowest part of the Channel comes out near Dover, which is already a very busy port and not far from London and worth spending the money on for both freight and passengers. The only feasible crossing for an NI - UK tunnel however, brings the tunnel out at Stranrear, which is in the middle of nowhere and a town that none of us had ever heard of outside of the classified football results read by James Alexander Gordon.

I’ve been to Stranraer. I went to Larne on the ferry.

Gwylan · Feb 15, 2021

RexCathedra said:
By the time it gets past the planning stage, it will connect two EU member states.

Even now it's a bit of a mare. It would involve the devolved governments of NI. Scotland (no friend of Johnson there, so expect a lot of obstruction), ROI (because they're in customs market with NI) and the UK. It's possible the EU may be involved too.
That's a very different scenario from the Channel Tunnel which involved two states, both inside the EU and with a clear aim of getting things done quickly. That tunnel took eight and half years from award of contract to completion but a lot of the preparation work had already been done - the UK started digging in 1975 before a project was abandoned.

My estimate is that NI/Scotland tunnel would take at least 12 years but probably many more - it's fantasy land

Jeremiah · Feb 15, 2021

Can't see this being built as the West Stand slide takes priority - BTW what is happening to it ? Is it being built by the same people as Palace's Main Stand ?

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