[Help] Sad, but necessary advice needed. Dog put to sleep..

Knocky's Nose · Feb 9, 2021

Not the cheeriest of posts, but our (specifically Mrs Nose's as she has always been her dog) Cavalier King Charles Spaniel is a month away from being 14 years old - and has had a degenerative condition where her head tilts and her back legs are losing control. The vet thinks she may have had multiple mini-strokes, along with a common syndrome where the spine and rear legs start losing communication with the brain, and she's not living a life I would call fulfilled in any sense. She keeps losing bladder and bowel control every few days - and it's making the old girl thoroughly miserable, even though she doesn't appear to be in 'pain' as such.

We've used that last sentence for a few months now, but the old girl just hobbles around and falls over all the time - along with the messy accidents, and she can't walk more than 100 metres any more. She sleeps most of the time and when she's awake she gets no real pleasure from life. She's been such an active, happy, mischievous, loving, agile, active dog her whole life - and part of a loving family who adore her. It can't be pleasurable for her any more to be like this.

The time is coming where we need to start thinking of having the old lady (her name is Poppy) put to sleep, but it's not something I've been through before.

I'm looking for practical advice from people who have experienced the same thing. Do you 'book a time / day' - or do you make the wait as short as possible and just say to the vet 'what have you got, and soon'?

After the deed has happened, do you literally get presented with your dead pet? Does the vet 'store' the pet for you? (we want her cremated at Raystede), or do we have to ring Raystede and get them to liaise with the vet? Or, do we take her straight to Raystede for 'storage'?

I literally have no idea, so I'd really appreciate a plan of action from someone who has been through this... I'd usually just hit Google for my problems, but this is different.

I don't often ask for help here, but you're good and caring people and I'm sure you can help in what is going to be a real wrench for the whole family...

Miximate · Feb 9, 2021

We said goodbye to our lovely lab early last year. The Vet was wonderful and came to the house. We were all there with him at the end. Whilst an awful experience, it was done with utmost dignity in familiar surroundings. The vet took him away , but only after we had time with him. We wanted him cremated with his ashes returned in a small wooden box. A really difficult time but it was totally the right thing to do. You cannot let the dog suffer. Good luck

Silverhatch · Feb 9, 2021

At this Covid time will Vets come to your house? That's what we've done in the past. If not call your vet and get them to advise you of the best way to proceed. If you're thinking about it (to help with the dog's suffering) just make a firm decision and get on with it. I've been guilty of holding on and on - and it doesn't do the dog or you any favours.

Leekbrookgull · Feb 9, 2021

In August last year we had to have our cat put down Dusty 22yo cat at least she had been with us that long the kids had grown with up her and simply part of the family of which if you want a animal/pet that is what they are. To see her fade away on her last day is not nice. However on a good note we had a pet portrait of her a year or two earlier well worth the money.

Knocky's Nose · Feb 9, 2021

We've only been in our new house since November, so the dog has no real affinity with the place as it's been a bomb site since we've moved in anyway. She also quite likes the vets as she always gets treats and they make a fuss of her - so she won't be stressed going there. Quite the opposite.

Thanks for the advice on waiting. My wife cries most days about this whole scenario now.

So, we book a time with the vet, the vet stores her for a day or two, and I assume it'll be my job to take her body to Raystede?

dejavuatbtn · Feb 9, 2021

Had to go through this three times and whilst the decision each time was a no brainer because of the sickness and lack of any quality of life for the dogs concerned, but it was so hard to be responsible for ending the life of a pet.

Saltydog · Feb 9, 2021

Our last experience was the same as Miximate. We have taken dogs to the vets in the past but it is so stressful. The last 2 best pals that we lost we too had the vet come to our home. It also allowed our remaining dog to see its pal and understand that he was gone so she could grieve.

Remember that you need to do what needs to be done with strength, love and compassion. Not a pleasant place to be and my thoughts are with you and Mrs Nose. Stay strong brother.

Knocky's Nose · Feb 9, 2021

dejavuatbtn said:
....but it was so hard to be responsible for ending the life of a pet.

This... Nail on the head. The logistics during and afterwards are so cold, but necessary - and that's what I'm asking for, really... a bit of guidance from experienced hands.

shwoody1 · Feb 9, 2021

im sure alot of us have been through this, its a horrible time for all the family bt it sounds like you know its time.the vets are brilliant when it come to it, They will give you time and options. We went knowing it was her time which sort of made it a liitle more bearable when they said wed made the right descion. afew days later we recieved a card with a footprint of old ruby which i thought was a nice touch.Good luck with it mate.

dejavuatbtn · Feb 9, 2021

Knocky's Nose said:
This... Nail on the head. The logistics during and afterwards are so cold, but necessary - and that's what I'm asking for a bit of guidance from experienced hands for really.

We dealt with it by talking about the good life our pets had, how mad they were, the disasters they caused, the affection they showed and how they enhanced our lives. Each one is always fondly remembered and whilst we had had pets since, none will replace those that have passed. It’s tougher on the kids because they don’t always understand why - which means talking about it.
Thoughts are with you and yours.

Cheshire Cat · Feb 9, 2021

With our cats it has been our decision when to let go, but always with the vets advice. The procedure is quick, quiet and painless (albeit awful). Vets know when animals are suffering and have had enough, and actually you will too although you may not wish to admit it.
The vet will usually arrange for a cremation if that is what you want, or something else depending on your wishes. It's a bit like the experience with a funeral director

Weststander · Feb 9, 2021

Hi.

Genuinely sorry to hear about Poppy’s current ill health.

I’ve been there with two different cats, loved beyond belief.

I’m a softie, but on the decision itself I remember the words of one of the amazing vets that you wouldn’t want them to suffer any more in pain, what quality of life do they have just now? They left it to me, but the humane decision was obvious.

In the sad moment itself, you can be there and I was. Stroking and kissing goodbye. The first time it was to the family cat since I was a kid ... I was on my own as my parents were overseas unknowing. The second time just 5 years ago, none of my family could handle it, so again I was on my own with the vet. The pet just ‘goes to sleep’, there are no sounds or spasms.

The vets both times were compassionate. I think I may’ve collected the bodies the next day? With the last cat she was at home with us.

Then I dug a deep hole in the garden and we buried her with all her favourite blankets etc in a bundle. So many tears shed. Do you think you’ll stay in your home for many years to come, so might think about this?

She’s never forgotten, a couple of tears shed typing this.

A few weeks later we adopted gorgeous twin kittens from the RSPCA, who’d had a rough start in life. The best therapy.

For us, it’s nice having so many pics and videos of our last cat. Therapeutic to chat about her together.

All the best, I know how you all must feel.

Leekbrookgull · Feb 9, 2021

dejavuatbtn said:
We dealt with it by talking about the good life our pets had, how mad they were, the disasters they caused, the affection they showed and how they enhanced our lives. Each one is always fondly remembered and whilst we had had pets since, none will replace those that have passed. It’s tougher on the kids because they don’t always understand why - which means talking about it.
Thoughts are with you and yours.

Wonderful post. Thank-you.

Chicken Run · Feb 9, 2021

Can’t offer much advice but my thoughts are with you and your family and wonderful that you’ve given Poppy a wonderful life and created many wonderful memories

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PTC Gull · Feb 9, 2021

Sorry to hear this. Today its 1 year to the day one of our dogs (that we've had since we moved to the USA) passed away, thankfully at home, but still had to deal with logistics afterwards as it was a Sunday. My vet recommended an Emergency Vet to look after our girl overnight and then they took over on the Monday and handled the cremation. etc. It was weird putting my best friend for the last 12 years into the car to get her to the Emergency vets but as a parting gift she rode in the front as she always did. It will be tough for you but she will be in a better place.
I echo what dejavuatbtn wrote. Take care.

Brian Parsons · Feb 9, 2021

I've not had to deal with a dog but cats aplenty. Speak to your vet and ask for an evening appointment. Spend as mumuch time with your dog. I've always held my cat as the injection is given. You'll normally have time " time to say goodbye " one last cuddle and stroke perhaps. Most vets now have deals with the pet cremation companies, just ask and they'll take your pet and sometime later you'll receive an amazing presentation box with a letter of sympathy and the ashes in a lovely container.
First and foremost DON'T BE ASHAMED TO SHED A TEAR. Its only human.

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JonnyCLately · Feb 9, 2021

tough gig - I feel your pain. We said goodbye to our 13 year old
d Cocker Spaniel in December. Coastway Pets in Brighton put him down, it was compassionate and dignified. My eldest held him while Mrs JCL and I sobbed in a heap. They cremated him and gave us his Ashes. It was as good and experience as it can be I think, certainly more dignity than was afforded my parents

smeariestbat · Feb 9, 2021

I have grown up with dogs. Cavalier king charles spaniels in particular as my mum has bred them for the last 30+ years. As such i have had the good fortune of falling in love with many of these wondeful animals, and know first hand of the special love and attention a cavvy brings. Unfortunately I have had to say goodbye to just as many and it never gets any easier. My most recent was last year at this time and was especially difficult as she was ‘mine’. I had her from a puppy, i moved her to Norway with me and my daughter grew up with her. Saying goodbye to her was the hardest yet and we get through it by remembering the good times. My first experience was with ‘barney’ who was the dog i grew up with. The vet was kind enough to come to our house and gave him the injection whilst the old boy was eating steak, then took the body away. My mum has all of her dogs cremated and has in her will the dogs ashes are to be put in her coffin when she dies and they are all to be cremated together

Leekbrookgull · Feb 9, 2021

PTC Gull said:
Sorry to hear this. Today its 1 year to the day one of our dogs (that we've had since we moved to the USA) passed away, thankfully at home, but still had to deal with logistics afterwards as it was a Sunday. My vet recommended an Emergency Vet to look after our girl overnight and then they took over on the Monday and handled the cremation. etc. It was weird putting my best friend for the last 12 years into the car to get her to the Emergency vets but as a parting gift she rode in the front as she always did. It will be tough for you but she will be in a better place.
I echo what dejavuatbtn wrote. Take care.

You know She rode in the Front and simply as a driver by trade nothing is better for better to me than a dog 'wanting it outside a window' even better on the odd chance of a dog in a sidecar it amazing. By the way we don't have a dog or need/want one but like to observe.

The Andy Naylor Fan Club · Feb 9, 2021

I've been through this and it broke my heart. It's totally the right thing to do when your pet has no more quality of life. Book her in with the vet either at home or the surgery and make a real fuss of her, it won't be easy but then we only ever feel grief when we lose someone or something that we really love. We had our dog cremated and I buried her ashes under a bench that was a stop on our walk. I kept a small amount of her ashes along with her favourite toys and lead in a memory box. I open it from time to time and smile when I see her stuff.

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[Help] Sad, but necessary advice needed. Dog put to sleep..

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