crodonilson
He/Him
As this lockdown continues to drag on and looks like doing so for a few months more yet we all need something to make us laugh....
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
[Other Sport] February Funnies
- Thread starter crodonilson
- Start date
Is it PotG?
Thrifty non-licker
Years ago Liverpool tried to get Yul Brynner to advertise their aftershave.
But,
Yul never wore cologne
But,
Yul never wore cologne
maltaseagull
Well-known member
My local council have told me to remove the electric fence around my property.
Just because my neighbour is dead against it!
Just because my neighbour is dead against it!
Pint of Ale and a Burger
New member
pasty
A different kind of pasty
Nothing funny about this February. First time in about 40 years I won't be going to the pub for my birthday 
I’ve been telling people about the benefit of eating dried grapes,
it’s all about raisin awareness.
it’s all about raisin awareness.
pasty
A different kind of pasty
The Devon and Cornwall music festival has been cancelled. They couldn't decide who to put on first, The Jam or Cream.
AmexRuislip
Trainee Spy 🕵️♂️
Newcastle United are to punish Joe Linton after pictures appeared on Twitter showing him having a haircut.
A spokesman for the club said “ We have to hit him with the severest punishment we can, he’s back in the team for the next game”!
A spokesman for the club said “ We have to hit him with the severest punishment we can, he’s back in the team for the next game”!
el punal
Well-known member
Why did Humpty Dumpty push his wife off the wall ?
Because he wanted to see her crack.
Because he wanted to see her crack.
AmexRuislip
Trainee Spy 🕵️♂️
Scottish football is to start using the latest goal line technology.
Hawk eye, the new.
Hawk eye, the new.
Dorset Seagull
Once Dolphin, Now Seagull
(In a Scottish accent)
Whats the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
Bing sings and Walt disney
Whats the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
Bing sings and Walt disney
Gazwag
5 millionth post poster
An English cat called One two three and a French Cat called Un Deux Trois were in a swimming race - which cat won
The English cat of course as Un Deux Trois Cat cinq
The English cat of course as Un Deux Trois Cat cinq
Tom Hark Preston Park
Will Post For Cash
- Jul 6, 2003
- 70,151
(also in a Scottish accent, in a bakery in Glasgow)
- Excuse me, is that a doughnut or a meringue?
- You're no' wrang, it's a doughnut
Ⓩ-Ⓐ-Ⓜ-Ⓞ-Ⓡ-Ⓐ
Hove / Παρος
A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.' An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of taste.' Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.' Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is kerosene.' Chinese: 'Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.'
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money. Lawyer: 'I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.' Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.' Lawyer (annoyed): 'This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.' Chinese: 'Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.'
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100. Lawyer: 'My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.' Chinese: 'Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100.' Lawyer (staring at the note): 'But this is $20, not $100!!' Chinese: 'Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20'
Lawyer: 'I have lost my sense of taste.' Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth.' Lawyer: 'Ugh. this is kerosene.' Chinese: 'Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.'
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money. Lawyer: 'I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.' Chinese: 'Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.' Lawyer (annoyed): 'This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste.' Chinese: 'Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.'
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100. Lawyer: 'My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.' Chinese: 'Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100.' Lawyer (staring at the note): 'But this is $20, not $100!!' Chinese: 'Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20'