[Finance] I'm never going to buy my own house am I?

spongy · Jan 17, 2021

I'm 42 sodding years old.

I've come to the conclusion that I should just ****ing give up on the whole dream.

As some of you know I've been saving for the best part of 10 years for a deposit for a house and have a sizeable deposit so it was time to start looking and applying for mortgages.

This was back in March just before the world decided to shit itself to death with Covid19.

Ever since then its just been let down after let down or problem after problem.

The Mrs was due to go back to work part time on April 1st 2020 after her maternity leave had finished so I was desperate to get one before that happened as in doing so her income dropped by £8k a year severely affecting our LTV figures.

Over the next few months all my overtime disappeared as the company I worked for began to struggle costing me over £8k in yearly o/t earnings. Basically the £16k a year we are down has hit us really hard and put paid to any chance of being able to borrow enough to buy anywhere.

So I got a new job in December that involved a big rise in my basic pay and we thought we could be back in the game and be looking at houses now.

I went back to work after Christmas feeling positive and hopeful for the future on the 4th Jan.

On the morning of 5th Jan my car broke down driving to work (£450 for a new alternator). At 10am the MD of the company called me into his office to say they were shutting down due to Lockdown 3 being announced the previous evening and furloughing all staff.

Because I only started in December I couldn't be furloughed so they terminated my employment (I was on 3 month probationary period) so there was **** all I could do but go home and tell the wife.

That afternoon I had an emotional call from my mum to say that Dad (who had been in hospital over christmas) wasn't doing well as they'd had a meeting with Oncology at RSCH and that there was nothing more they could do about his brain tumours and that The Martletts would be taking over palliative care moving forward.

I say luckily in a very ironic way that I've worked quick despite this year being worse than 2020 already that I've managed to find another job so am back into work but its a 30 mile round trip in the car compared to a short bike ride or 3 mile round trip to the last job.

Because of my increased commuting costs I'm actually in a worse off place than I was before I left my other job to take a chance to buy my own place. Now I'm having to use the deposit money to live temporarily and top up our earnings just to keep this rented place over my familys head and pay to get to work.

I've been renting for 10 years and spent over £120,000 paying off other peoples ****ing mortgages instead of my own and its really dragging me down to the depths of despair and depression.

Just how do you do it?

I have a deposit, no loans, credit cards, HP or PCP on cars, we are debt free, we both have good credit ratings and still can't get someone to lend us enough to buy a house as we just don't earn enough money.

It makes me feel physically sick to the pit of my stomach knowing I'm doing a shit job of providing my family with a stable life.

Now things are seriously deteoriating with Dad I just don't know what to ****ing do any more.

Only I could take a shot at doing the best for my family and ending up in a ****ing worse position than when I started.

I've started going down a very dark hole in my mind lately that I can't seem to find a way out of yet and I'm starting to have some intrusive thoughts creep in.

Harry Wilson's tackle · Jan 17, 2021

Very sorry to read that. First off, don't beat yourself up. Your missus will appreciate you're staying phlegmatic, if not exactly cheerful. I'll put together a sensible reply in a bit.

HantsSeagull · Jan 17, 2021

i presume you have been to a mortgage broker?

Wozza · Jan 17, 2021

Really sorry to hear about your troubles.

Can't help with specific property/mortgage advice, but I'll say this: you have to try really hard not to stack issues into a pile. Stacking problems in your head can easily make things overwhelming.

spongy said:
I've been renting for 10 years and spent over £120,000 paying off other peoples ****ing mortgages instead of my own and its really dragging me down to the depths of despair and depression.

It's a shame you've calculated this. Better to remind yourself that the majority of people rent in Germany and Switzerland.

It makes me feel physically sick to the pit of my stomach knowing I'm doing a shit job of providing my family with a stable life.

That's a typical feeling for anyone with a family who is having financial/employment problems.

Keep going. Things will get better.

Paulie Gualtieri · Jan 17, 2021

spongy said:
I'm 42 sodding years old.

I've come to the conclusion that I should just ****ing give up on the whole dream.

As some of you know I've been saving for the best part of 10 years for a deposit for a house and have a sizeable deposit so it was time to start looking and applying for mortgages.

This was back in March just before the world decided to shit itself to death with Covid19.

Ever since then its just been let down after let down or problem after problem.

The Mrs was due to go back to work part time on April 1st 2020 after her maternity leave had finished so I was desperate to get one before that happened as in doing so her income dropped by £8k a year severely affecting our LTV figures.

Over the next few months all my overtime disappeared as the company I worked for began to struggle costing me over £8k in yearly o/t earnings. Basically the £16k a year we are down has hit us really hard and put paid to any chance of being able to borrow enough to buy anywhere.

So I got a new job in December that involved a big rise in my basic pay and we thought we could be back in the game and be looking at houses now.

I went back to work after Christmas feeling positive and hopeful for the future on the 4th Jan.

On the morning of 5th Jan my car broke down driving to work (£450 for a new alternator). At 10am the MD of the company called me into his office to say they were shutting down due to Lockdown 3 being announced the previous evening and furloughing all staff.

Because I only started in December I couldn't be furloughed so they terminated my employment (I was on 3 month probationary period) so there was **** all I could do but go home and tell the wife.

That afternoon I had an emotional call from my mum to say that Dad (who had been in hospital over christmas) wasn't doing well as they'd had a meeting with Oncology at RSCH and that there was nothing more they could do about his brain tumours and that The Martletts would be taking over palliative care moving forward.

I say luckily in a very ironic way that I've worked quick despite this year being worse than 2020 already that I've managed to find another job so am back into work but its a 30 mile round trip in the car compared to a short bike ride or 3 mile round trip to the last job.

Because of my increased commuting costs I'm actually in a worse off place than I was before I left my other job to take a chance to buy my own place. Now I'm having to use the deposit money to live temporarily and top up our earnings just to keep this rented place over my familys head and pay to get to work.

I've been renting for 10 years and spent over £120,000 paying off other peoples ****ing mortgages instead of my own and its really dragging me down to the depths of despair and depression.

Just how do you do it?

I have a deposit, no loans, credit cards, HP or PCP on cars, we are debt free, we both have good credit ratings and still can't get someone to lend us enough to buy a house as we just don't earn enough money.

It makes me feel physically sick to the pit of my stomach knowing I'm doing a shit job of providing my family with a stable life.

Now things are seriously deteoriating with Dad I just don't know what to ****ing do any more.

Only I could take a shot at doing the best for my family and ending up in a ****ing worse position than when I started.

I've started going down a very dark hole in my mind lately that I can't seem to find a way out of yet and I'm starting to have some intrusive thoughts creep in.

Have you looked at help to buy?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

WATFORD zero · Jan 17, 2021

spongy said:
It makes me feel physically sick to the pit of my stomach knowing I'm doing a shit job of providing my family with a stable life.

The single most important thing in providing a stable family life is you being there for them. The time you now spend with your wife and children is something that no amount of money, bricks or anything else can replace.

I'm sure you'll get lots of good advice on here, but the time with them is, in my experience, the most important and enjoyable thing you can ever have, and something no amount of money can buy.

Keep Safe

Icy Gull · Jan 17, 2021

What a shit year, feel for you :down:

I am no financial whizz but I think you need to have some sort of credit history to be considered a good risk, so maybe you should get a credit card and pay it off in full every month to build up credit history?

I had this problem when I started a business, but it was a long long time ago. I couldn’t even get credit on an office phone system as I had no cards and no other credit history.

Good luck, hopefully things will turn around for you shortly, sad story.

spongy · Jan 17, 2021

HantsSeagull said:
i presume you have been to a mortgage broker?

Yeah, my own one and also Uncle Spielberg. Just can't get the LTV based on earnings. Maximum term I can get is 27 years. Im running out of time here.

We could only borrow a max of £180k + £50k deposit.

Not enough to buy a run down house round here and I dont want to move up north away from all of my family and friends where houses are cheaper but I'll also earn less as well.

vagabond · Jan 17, 2021

Don’t beat yourself up on this. Last year has been brutal to a lot of people.

You still have time to get a house. The world should begin to settle down this year with multiple vaccines, hopefully we’ll see an economic boom as lockdowns end everywhere. Unfortunately in the meantime have to suck it up and accept it’s not great conditions for putting a deposit down on a house.

No shame in renting btw. You’re still providing for your family.

Trevor · Jan 17, 2021

Very sorry to hear abou your story and your mood. I'm sure you are absolutely not doing a shit job for your family. These are problems that have happened despite your best efforts.
The main thing I wanted to say was "just keep going" and to try to say I hear you.

Had you thought about applying for jobs somewhere further away near or in an area where you could more realistically afford to buy? I hate to ask this really because it involves sacrifices that you don't want your loved ones to make.

spongy · Jan 17, 2021

Icy Gull said:
What a shit year, feel for you

I am no financial whizz but I think you need to have some sort of credit history to be considered a good risk, so maybe you should get a credit card and pay it off in full every month to build up credit history?

I had this problem when I started a business, but it was a long long time ago. I couldn’t even get credit on an office phone system as I had no cards and no other credit history.

Good luck, hopefully things will turn around for you shortly, sad story.

We've got really good credit scores, we have a couple of cards each that get minimal use and paid in full that month if we use them.

Mortgage repayments on a £250k mortgage (£300k house) is about £1,100 a month over 27 years.

I pay £1000 a month in rent but lenders deem it unaffordable. ****ing pisstake and laughable.

spongy · Jan 17, 2021

London Black Cab said:
Have you looked at help to buy?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Applies to new build only, try finding a new build in Burgess Hill or surrounding areas for under £350k.

Birdie Boy · Jan 17, 2021

I was really happy for you last year when you got the job. Very gutted that it hasn't worked out for you. Keep your chin up, it will get better and maybe when the firm you have just left reopens they may take you back on. This could be a temporary blip, I was out of work for 9 months last year, so I know it can. Best of luck.

Garry Nelson's Left Foot · Jan 17, 2021

Really sorry to hear that Spongy. Please do your best to keep those dark thoughts at bay. They're b*****d a***h***s that'll do nothing to help you.

If you can put food in your daughters belly, a roof over her head(regardless of wether it's rented or not), clothes on her back and raise her in a loving environment then there's no way you can call yourself a failure.

When she's old enough to understand she'll see her father as someone who thanks to circumstances beyond his control was dealt a shitty hand but busted a gut to get through it and provide for her and her mother. That will mean so much more to her than saying her dad bought a house ever will.

The Fits · Jan 17, 2021

Lately I've really been thinking about moving somewhere shit. Like, really, really shit.
I'm quite handy, so i can do it up. And if it's got an outside space you can create a little haven, even if you don't want to leave the house.
Lockdown has made me realise how important a 'home' is. Sick of living in other peoples spaces. But the reality is I can't afford to buy here (Bristol), or down there.

S.T.U cgull · Jan 17, 2021

spongy said:
We've got really good credit scores, we have a couple of cards each that get minimal use and paid in full that month if we use them.

Mortgage repayments on a £250k mortgage (£300k house) is about £1,100 a month over 27 years.

I pay £1000 a month in rent but lenders deem it unaffordable. ****ing pisstake and laughable.

How did you determine 27 years is the maximum term if you are 42 years of age? Some lenders will lend until you are 75 if it is credible that your profession would allow (ie office based as opposed to say a labourer).

Help to Buy scheme or now a lifetime ISA is valid on a first property purchase up to £250k and not just new property!! From memory you get a 25% boost on your savings up to £12k - ie £3k back.

I bought in B Hill last year using the above scheme at a similar price to your search; but there are other properties out there for less than 250k; you may just need to temporarily alter your requirements to a flat and then in a few years move up the ladder.

Harry Wilson's tackle · Jan 17, 2021

OK, first [MENTION=189]Wozza[/MENTION] said it all really, regarding keeping yourself level.

Others have offered some suggestions. Here's mine. If you really want to get on the property ladder then set all other considerations aside. I moved to north Kent because it was the closest place to my workplace (central London) I could afford. I did a 3 plus hour commute for 30 years. Worth it? Definitely.

So consider further afield. It may mean another job change. So be it. Your immediate family are clearly the most important thing to you so you can't 'yes but' about mates and in-laws. Stay determined, think laterally. You can do it.

Clive Walker · Jan 17, 2021

spongy said:
I'm 42 sodding years old.

I've come to the conclusion that I should just ****ing give up on the whole dream.

As some of you know I've been saving for the best part of 10 years for a deposit for a house and have a sizeable deposit so it was time to start looking and applying for mortgages.

This was back in March just before the world decided to shit itself to death with Covid19.

Ever since then its just been let down after let down or problem after problem.

The Mrs was due to go back to work part time on April 1st 2020 after her maternity leave had finished so I was desperate to get one before that happened as in doing so her income dropped by £8k a year severely affecting our LTV figures.

Over the next few months all my overtime disappeared as the company I worked for began to struggle costing me over £8k in yearly o/t earnings. Basically the £16k a year we are down has hit us really hard and put paid to any chance of being able to borrow enough to buy anywhere.

So I got a new job in December that involved a big rise in my basic pay and we thought we could be back in the game and be looking at houses now.

I went back to work after Christmas feeling positive and hopeful for the future on the 4th Jan.

On the morning of 5th Jan my car broke down driving to work (£450 for a new alternator). At 10am the MD of the company called me into his office to say they were shutting down due to Lockdown 3 being announced the previous evening and furloughing all staff.

Because I only started in December I couldn't be furloughed so they terminated my employment (I was on 3 month probationary period) so there was **** all I could do but go home and tell the wife.

That afternoon I had an emotional call from my mum to say that Dad (who had been in hospital over christmas) wasn't doing well as they'd had a meeting with Oncology at RSCH and that there was nothing more they could do about his brain tumours and that The Martletts would be taking over palliative care moving forward.

I say luckily in a very ironic way that I've worked quick despite this year being worse than 2020 already that I've managed to find another job so am back into work but its a 30 mile round trip in the car compared to a short bike ride or 3 mile round trip to the last job.

Because of my increased commuting costs I'm actually in a worse off place than I was before I left my other job to take a chance to buy my own place. Now I'm having to use the deposit money to live temporarily and top up our earnings just to keep this rented place over my familys head and pay to get to work.

I've been renting for 10 years and spent over £120,000 paying off other peoples ****ing mortgages instead of my own and its really dragging me down to the depths of despair and depression.

Just how do you do it?

I have a deposit, no loans, credit cards, HP or PCP on cars, we are debt free, we both have good credit ratings and still can't get someone to lend us enough to buy a house as we just don't earn enough money.

It makes me feel physically sick to the pit of my stomach knowing I'm doing a shit job of providing my family with a stable life.

Now things are seriously deteoriating with Dad I just don't know what to ****ing do any more.

Only I could take a shot at doing the best for my family and ending up in a ****ing worse position than when I started.

I've started going down a very dark hole in my mind lately that I can't seem to find a way out of yet and I'm starting to have some intrusive thoughts creep in.

While I can’t offer you any specific advice beyond what you are already doing I will say this..........you sound like you are doing an absolutely f*****g great job at supporting your family and you sound like a very hard working individual and much better than many other blokes out there.

Biscuit Barrel · Jan 17, 2021

A quick look on rightmove suggests that there is a number of 2/3 bedroom houses available for £230k in Newhaven, Burgess Hill, Littlehampton and other areas of sussex.

I reckon you could afford something in your price range and you could always move if your financial situation improves in the future.

I know from your previous posts that it is really upsetting you not having your own property, so my advice is to buy a house as close to the area you want to be in.

The longer you are out of the market, the harder it will become to get into it.

spongy · Jan 17, 2021

Birdie Boy said:
I was really happy for you last year when you got the job. Very gutted that it hasn't worked out for you. Keep your chin up, it will get better and maybe when the firm you have just left reopens they may take you back on. This could be a temporary blip, I was out of work for 9 months last year, so I know it can. Best of luck.

I dont think I want to go back the way I've been treated. If they're that quick to just **** me over then who's to say they won't do it again? I need security first.

I spent 5 years as a mature student working up to HNC on day release gaining top marks throughout from work whilst working 12hr days and raising my daughter from birth (she's now 6 and another 18 month is here as well) to create an opportunity for myself and move up in the world.

All Ive done is go ****ing backwards. Just seems like a complete waste of my time and money getting ****ing nowhere.

If I had life insurance I'd ****ing drive off Ditchling Beacon at full speed if the wife and kids got a decent payout from it. Because I don't seem to be able to find the ****ing answers.

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