[Misc] 5Live now

I've always found that sticking to the "anyone within half your age plus 7" rule has served me well

I've also observed that most men have two states. One based on rationality, logic, empathy and compassion and one based on what millions of years of evolution has been telling us to do.

The great majority manage to suppress state 2 almost all the time, but then a day of drinking or an negative emotional experience you realise that it's not gone away, only suppressed

Just a little example. I fully admit to joining in a football chant "get you **** out for the lads" at some girl who was holding a hoarding at the Goldstone. Now I was a teenager when this song was seen by many as acceptable, but in my normal life I knew that to be wrong. Having a few beers and being in a crowd was enough to over-ride the upbringing which told me that behaviour was wrong. Different people are able to suppress their animal state more easily that others. Maybe some try to suppress too much and they snap? Who knows, I'm not an expert. I just have the impression that sort of thinking or behaviour is somewhere in each of us.

LlcoolJ said:

This is the angle that I used to see the issue from. Being brought up by a single parent mum who was pretty strong in her feminist beliefs (still is tbf although she has now been married for over 10 years and likes to be the doting housewife) I sort of presumed that women's issues with weight, looks etc were all down to men, although even as a kid, that never sat right in my head.

It's anecdotal I know, but basically every woman I have spoken to in depth about why they want to lose weight, wear nice clothes, have great hair and so on, it has nothing to do with men.

They want to look good to outshine their friends, sisters, mums even. And the friends, sisters and mums (even) are all the same.

I realise that I'm generalising massively. But it's just what I've learned from experience. And I've never been out with any fake / orange / plastic women, just intelligent ones who (normally) tell the truth.

I also get what you're saying about the competition being created by a patriachal society. But when it comes down to the reality of what is happening now, it is women who are perpetuating the situation far more then men. And from a very young age unfortunately.

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I can't claim to fully understand the incredibly complicated female mind, but yeh, my perception is that women seem to be competing for status with each other.

Again, this competing for status, men against men and women against women is behaviour we've been engaged in for millions of years

Great thread lads.....

No, seriously. Lucky I had my head deep in work today or I would have been up to my elbows in it....

We have a 9 year old girl. She has exclusively female pals, plus the one, very different, lad. So far, absolutely no pressures regarding clothes or appearance. But her fallings out with kids at school are few and far between, and quickly resolved. Pobably a bit early for the solids to hit the air con....

Regarding the general comments, I have always felt uncomfortable with categorising based on gender. A **** is a ****, not because he's a man or a woman.

I also think men and women aren't hugely different in their concerns, and their abilty to deal with stuff. I do appreciate that a large percentage of men and women want to fit in, so they will slip into whatever behaviour is predominant in their circle, which could be gender specific, and that may differ hugely between the male and female circles, especially when young.....

But....no. I prefer to strip out the gender stereotyping and deal with issues as issues.

At work, this is wholly easy and feels appropriate. More than half my academic colleagues are now women (up from just the one when I started out). My head of department is a woman (and is ten years my junior). I have my rows with her but she's probably the best head of department I've had (better training and clearer expectation help).

My missus would probably lamp me if I ever said anything predicated by some sort of gender stereotype. Or raise an eyebrow. Probably the latter, but with the imperative of the former

Life is very modern down here, though. It's easy to avoid folk who want to call spades spades, say it like it is, not mince their words, etc.

That said it may well be that the schools are not tolerating the crap that went on when I was a kid. The occasional bit of inappropriate behaviour at out kid's school is dealt with by confident kids snitching, praise for the snitching, swift action and proper and support for the transgressor. Probably not like this across the whole of the UK, though.

Anyway, in moments of doubt one can remind one's self that it is against the law to be put upon by dint of gender, sexuality, race or religion these days, and nobody need suffer in silence. I like that, even if it is hard to mitigate against the thunder***** as effectively, across the nation, as would be ideal.

Gwylan said:

I coach a girls rugby team and help adminster their Facebook page - which is private, for family members only. I was completely staggered by the number of blokes, with no connections to the girls, who tried to sign up to join this group. We were regularly blocking them - it was a real eye-opener for me.

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I'm a member of a large sea fishing group, the Mods have had to set up questions about fishing to thin out the scantily clad female applicants who strangely want to join a smelly group of fishermen?

Napper said:

just over 16 is a bit close to the mark unless the bloke is less than 21.

All a nonsense again and just another opportunity for a minority to get offended.

Women dress up , blokes audibly show their appreciation.

Mostly its delivered and accepted in the good fun its intended.

Always exceptions but blokes are blokes and the easily offended piping up wont change that

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Thankfully theses attitudes are on the wane.

Don't think I've ever met a woman who found this shit fun!

Sent from my Redmi Note 7 using Tapatalk

On a loosely related theme, this is one of the greatest infographics of all time imo.

Leonardo DiCaprio is 46, but never had a girlfriend over 25....

vegster said:

I'm a member of a large sea fishing group, the Mods have had to set up questions about fishing to thin out the scantily clad female applicants who strangely want to join a smelly group of fishermen?

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I got an extra 2 Fembot Twitter followers on Saturday after I referred to Martin Keown as a ****. I also got another one after tweeting about F1.

Amazing what scantily clad women find interesting nowadays.

Interesting thread this.

I’m sure that women feel anxiety about their appearance that is often driven by peer pressure. However, this is essentially just another case of “whataboutery”. Regardless of how women treat each other, it is entirely in men’s power to treat them respectfully. We have the means to put our own house in order.

LlcoolJ said:

I also get what you're saying about the competition being created by a patriachal society. But when it comes down to the reality of what is happening now, it is women who are perpetuating the situation far more then men. And from a very young age unfortunately.

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I understand why you've come to this conclusion, but I think what really needs to be exposed is the people behind the women that are perpetuating that situation in the mainstream media. That will be sleazy ad execs, tv producers, magazine editors, journalists, fashion designers. If you look behind the curtain, in many of these circumstances it is still men controlling the narrative that shapes the way young women and girls see their place in the world.

Wozza said:

On a loosely related theme, this is one of the greatest infographics of all time imo.

Leonardo DiCaprio is 46, but never had a girlfriend over 25....

View attachment 130762

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I imagine this strategy is based around getting as much as he possibly can

On a related note, anyone seen this story of a school in Ireland where girls have to wear loose fitting clothes for PE and can't show knees or collar-bones?

https://www.independent.ie/irish-ne...ar-tight-fitting-clothes-for-pe-39787071.html

I sometimes do wonder what century we're living in

jimhigham said:

Interesting thread this.

I’m sure that women feel anxiety about their appearance that is often driven by peer pressure. However, this is essentially just another case of “whataboutery”. Regardless of how women treat each other, it is entirely in men’s power to treat them respectfully. We have the means to put our own house in order.

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This.