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[Misc] My wife threatened me with



Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
59,195
The Fatherland


Grassman

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2008
2,550
Tun Wells
Genuine story. I had a bit of a tumultuous relationship with my old man growing up, particularly in the months leading up to me finally moving out when I was 18. On one particular occasion, he came home on his lunch break to find me undressed and rolling a joint in the living room (I always smoked 'em outside).

An argument ensued and culminated in him properly losing his shít and beginning to throw the contents of the kitchen fruit bowl at me - there were literally apples and pears flying everywhere. I successfully managed to dodge everything with the exception of a piece of flesh from the banana he was eating at the time, which caught me square on the eyeball, which was surprisingly painful.

This caused me some temporary sight loss which required me to wear an eye patch for a couple of weeks. Bad enough in itself, but compounded by the fact that a few months earlier one of my mates had very sadly permanently lost the use of his eye in a hit and run accident in which he was nearly killed, and had been forced to wear an eye patch himself. Naturally, everyone thought I was taking the píss, and it didn't go down well.

"How did you hurt your eye then, you dickhead?"

"Erm, my dad hit me in the eye with a banana."

You probably had to be there, but my life in those crazy days was very surreal.

A genuine I shouldn’t laugh but......
 












Sussexscots

Fed up with trains. Sick of the rain.
Maybe she'd like something with a strong blue vein running through it. There's Stil tons of puns left.

Albeit they're not as runny as they used to be.
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
59,195
The Fatherland
Is “........staying” the answer?
 




PTC Gull

Micky Mouse country.
NSC Patreon
Apr 17, 2017
1,188
Florida
Wouldn't have happened in Allgäu. Could have been worse...you might of Spundekäs it all up Bruder Basil. These are all for Herr Tubthumper!
 


Pavilionaire

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
30,521
An Austrian smoked cheese last week. She held it like a dagger and snarled at me over something ( don’t ask me what)

It's "Goodnight Vienna" for you.

Sounds like she camembert it any longer.
 








hart's shirt

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
10,123
Kitbag in Dubai
My wife threatened me with an Austrian smoked cheese last week.

You probably shouldn't have responded by offering her a packet of Jacob's with the comment, "Your crackers".

And since she chose Austrian cheese over Swiss, she's clearly struggling with her emmental health.
 






bhafc99

Well-known member
Oct 14, 2003
7,049
Dubai
As long as she doesn’t Dairyleave you for another guy, it’ll be ok.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,331
Faversham
Good thread this. I'm grinning like a Cheshire cat.
 









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