[Humour] Joke Du Jour

Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster

Jul 5, 2003

72,015

• Oct 20, 2020

• #1

A perv picks a random phone number and a little old biddy answers

Old biddy “Hello”

Perv “I bet you’d love me to come round to yours, rip your knickers off and make mad passionate love to you”

Old biddy “All this you can tell from “hello”?”

Pick that one to pieces NSC

 

Is it PotG?

Thrifty non-licker

Feb 20, 2017

23,307

Sussex by the Sea

• Oct 20, 2020

• #2

Personally I find the use of biddy offensive, when it generally points to being 'regarded contemptuously as annoying, gossipy, etc'.

She may well be a lovely, kind old lady who just needs a bit of how's yer father.

 

Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati

Helpful Moderator

NSC Patron

Jul 23, 2003

34,131

Up and Coming Sunny Portslade

• Oct 20, 2020

• #3

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He had his nob in the chicken.

 

schmunk

"Members"

Jan 19, 2018

9,496

Mid mid mid Sussex

• Oct 20, 2020

• #4

Icy Gull said:

A perv picks a random phone number and a little old biddy answers

Old biddy “Hello”

Perv “I bet you’d love me to come round to yours, rip your knickers off and make mad passionate love to you”

Old biddy “All this you can tell from “hello”?”

Pick that one to pieces NSC

Click to expand...

Is there a joke here?

 

mr sheen

Well-known member

Jan 17, 2008

1,552

• Oct 20, 2020

• #5

Guinness Boy said:

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He had his nob in the chicken.

Click to expand...

Topical

https://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co...chickens-while-his-wife-filmed-jailed-3008543

 

Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati

Helpful Moderator

NSC Patron

Jul 23, 2003

34,131

Up and Coming Sunny Portslade

• Oct 20, 2020

• #6

schmunk said:

Is there a joke here?

Click to expand...

I think it's that the "old biddy" is actually Yoda.

The question is whether the "pervert" would enjoy that more or less?

 

jakarta

Well-known member

May 25, 2007

15,623

Sullington

• Oct 20, 2020

• #7

mr sheen said:

Topical

https://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co...chickens-while-his-wife-filmed-jailed-3008543

Click to expand...

Wonder if he supports Dirty Dirty?

 

Gazwag

5 millionth post poster

Mar 4, 2004

30,137

Bexhill-on-Sea

• Oct 20, 2020

• #8

How did he know she was little, was it a video call

 

Tim Over Whelmed

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Jul 24, 2007

10,188

Arundel

• Oct 20, 2020

• #9

How would he know where she lives from a random phone number, there's something not right here? Also how would he know what the old lady was wearing?

 

Hugo Rune

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Feb 23, 2012

21,616

Brighton

• Oct 20, 2020

• #10

My theory is that the ‘Perv’ is actually the husband of the ‘biddy’. He is in another room and has pressed redial (to his wife’s mobile) instead of randomly ringing a number.

I can’t think of any other scenario where he knows that she is wearing knickers and is up for a bit of hanky panky.

 

Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati

Helpful Moderator

NSC Patron

Jul 23, 2003

34,131

Up and Coming Sunny Portslade

• Oct 20, 2020

• #11

mr sheen said:

Topical

https://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co...chickens-while-his-wife-filmed-jailed-3008543

Click to expand...

"While his wife filmed him......."

 

Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster

Jul 5, 2003

72,015

• Oct 20, 2020

• Thread starter
• #12

I am a little concerned that two of the replies are questioning the wearing of knickers. Do women tend to go commando these days?

Call me old fashioned but in these days of women wearing jeans or trousers that is an pretty unhygienic and grim thing to do

 

Jesus Gul

Well-known member

Feb 23, 2004

5,470

• Oct 20, 2020

• #13

Whatever happened to Stetson-wearing 80/90s Brighton Club scene face/doorman The Perv?

 

Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster

Jul 5, 2003

72,015

• Oct 20, 2020

• Thread starter
• #14

Jesus Gul said:

Whatever happened to Stetson-wearing 80/90s Brighton Club scene face/doorman The Perv?

Click to expand...

Making random phone calls to old biddies now?

 

Tim Over Whelmed

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Jul 24, 2007

10,188

Arundel

• Oct 20, 2020

• #15

Guinness Boy said:

"While his wife filmed him......."

Click to expand...

Did the Police suspect fowl play!

 

Hampden Park

Ex R.N.

Oct 7, 2003

4,989

• Oct 20, 2020

• #16

Tim Over Whelmed said:

Did the Police suspect fowl play!

Click to expand...

Not sure, he did get some tweetment though.

 

Tim Over Whelmed

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Jul 24, 2007

10,188

Arundel

• Oct 20, 2020

• #17

Bet someone "egg'ed" him on!

 

Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Jul 11, 2003

59,523

The Fatherland

• Oct 20, 2020

• #18

Guinness Boy said:

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He had his nob in the chicken.

Click to expand...

mr sheen said:

Topical

https://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co...chickens-while-his-wife-filmed-jailed-3008543

Click to expand...

Did you just Google knob and chicken?

 

Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Jul 11, 2003

59,523

The Fatherland

• Oct 20, 2020

• #19

Jesus Gul said:

Whatever happened to Stetson-wearing 80/90s Brighton Club scene face/doorman The Perv?

Click to expand...

Last seen working upstairs at The Albert.

 

ConfusedGloryHunter

He/him/his/that muppet

Jul 6, 2011

2,045

• Oct 20, 2020

• #20

Icy Gull said:

I am a little concerned that two of the replies are questioning the wearing of knickers. Do women tend to go commando these days?

Call me old fashioned but in these days of women wearing jeans or trousers that is an pretty unhygienic and grim thing to do

Click to expand...

It is very old fashioned to not use underwear.