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[Humour] The Football Letters



gripper stebson

gripper stebson

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2004
6,657
Had the pleasure of doing the artwork / photoshoppery for this.

In the tradition of the Timewaster Letters. New one every week.

https://www.daverobertsbooks.com/football-letters

Fair play to Juan Mata!

header.jpg
 






lawros left foot

lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969
Jun 11, 2011
13,718
Worthing
Hiney said:
Brilliant.

Who was the guy back in the 70s who used to write to loads of random people, enclosing a pound with each letter?
Click to expand...


Henry Root.

His letter to the Queen

I appreciate that under the constitution you cannot poke your nose into things too directly, but I do have a small suggestion to make.

You’re always opening things: hospitals, schools, theatres, factories, fly-overs, playgrounds, etc.

Why don’t you close a few things?

I have in mind such blemishes on the face of our society as The National Liberal Club, BBC 2, Soho’s ‘foreign’ cinemas and so-called massage parlours, the National Council for Civil Liberties, subversive periodicals such as ‘The New Statesman’ and ‘Time Out’, which are devoted to the understanding and our British institutions.

And the new white tile universities, which see it as their function to stuff the impressionable young students with half-baked left-wing notions.



Quite appropriate at the present time.
 


Barham's tash

Barham's tash

Well-known member
Jun 8, 2013
3,613
Rayners Lane
lawros left foot said:
Henry Root.

His letter to the Queen

I appreciate that under the constitution you cannot poke your nose into things too directly, but I do have a small suggestion to make.

You’re always opening things: hospitals, schools, theatres, factories, fly-overs, playgrounds, etc.

Why don’t you close a few things?

I have in mind such blemishes on the face of our society as The National Liberal Club, BBC 2, Soho’s ‘foreign’ cinemas and so-called massage parlours, the National Council for Civil Liberties, subversive periodicals such as ‘The New Statesman’ and ‘Time Out’, which are devoted to the understanding and our British institutions.

And the new white tile universities, which see it as their function to stuff the impressionable young students with half-baked left-wing notions.



Quite appropriate at the present time.
Click to expand...

That’s simply a work of genius. Thanks for sharing!
 








Cadiz Seagull

Cadiz Seagull

Grey bearded old man
Jul 7, 2003
5,990
Between Haywards Heath and Trujillo, Extremadura,
Henry Root alias William Donaldson (who I think may have been editor of Punch at some time).

He wrote spoof letters to public figures but always included a pound donation so they would reply.

His correspondence with Esther Rantzen was hilarious. His books were really funny but I don't think they are widely available now. I just looked but not on Kidle but there is a paperback version at £34.93!!

He would have LOVED Twitter!
 
Last edited:


D

darkwolf666

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2015
7,576
Sittingbourne, Kent
Clearly I don't understand every other countries sense of humour, but there is something bizarrely British about this, a bit like writing ludicrous letters to the editor of your local newspaper - brilliant and indeed hats off to Mr Mata.
 






lawros left foot

lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969
Jun 11, 2011
13,718
Worthing
A very funny twitter account is Sir Michael, [MENTION=15331]Michael1979[/MENTION]. I actually laugh out loud at this fella.
 














Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
49,927
Faversham


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
49,927
Faversham
darkwolf666 said:
Clearly I don't understand every other countries sense of humour, but there is something bizarrely British about this, a bit like writing ludicrous letters to the editor of your local newspaper - brilliant and indeed hats off to Mr Mata.
Click to expand...

My little brother, a Leeds (FFS) supporter, has had several furious letters published over the years in the Leeds local rag. Sadly all his were sincere :lolol:
 


vegster

vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
27,892
The late Spike Milligan used to delight in writing letters to companies and organisations with a starting point of " Re Your letter of 23/06 on the subject of..... " He would then write an amazing written reply to a letter that had not been sent all on the hoof.

He said it was great fun thinking of this company desperately trying to find an original letter that they had not sent!
 


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