KZNSeagull
Well-known member
What's all that got to do with English Elephants? 
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[Humour] The perils of English Elephant Jokes Abroad
- Thread starter Ken Livingstone Seagull
- Start date
Much as I love an obscure joke that no-one understands because it's distinctively English and I'm on the other side of the world, imagine the frustration at explaining the following side-splitter to a colonial colleague:
Me: What's black, steaming, and comes out of Cowes backwards?
Colonial: Blank stare. Cow Poop?
Me: Ha ha. No. The Isle of Wight Ferry.
Colonial: Blank Stare. The what?
Me: The Isle of Wight Ferry.
Colonial: What the **** is the Hilerwite Very?
Me: It's a ferry, a boat, that starts in Cowes and ends up on the Isle of Wight.
Colonial: Why is it black?
Me: The ferry is painted black.
Colonial: What do Cowes got to do with it ? What's the Hilerwite?
Trust me it was a looong conversation that was seriously not worth the wind-up in the first place. But more fool me, I persisted with another side-splitter.
Me: Man goes into the butchers shop and asks the butcher for a pound of steak and kiddley. Butcher says, do you mean a pound of steak and kidney? Man says, I said steak and kiddley, diddle I?
Colonial: What's kiddley? and later, Why would you want steak AND kiddley? (Side note: Steak and Kidney is not popular in this manor, squire).
The whole process is worse than presenting a Joke du Jour to NSC. And plus I'm wasting valuable tanning time. Cah, bloomin' Colonials...I fear my rib-ticklin' days are clearly over in this benighted neck of the woods.
Brilliant
Hope all's well with you
Much as I love an obscure joke that no-one understands because it's distinctively English and I'm on the other side of the world, imagine the frustration at explaining the following side-splitter to a colonial colleague:
Me: What's black, steaming, and comes out of Cowes backwards?
Colonial: Blank stare. Cow Poop?
Me: Ha ha. No. The Isle of Wight Ferry.
Colonial: Blank Stare. The what?
Me: The Isle of Wight Ferry.
Colonial: What the **** is the Hilerwite Very?
Me: It's a ferry, a boat, that starts in Cowes and ends up on the Isle of Wight.
Colonial: Why is it black?
Me: The ferry is painted black.
Colonial: What do Cowes got to do with it ? What's the Hilerwite?
Trust me it was a looong conversation that was seriously not worth the wind-up in the first place. But more fool me, I persisted with another side-splitter.
Me: Man goes into the butchers shop and asks the butcher for a pound of steak and kiddley. Butcher says, do you mean a pound of steak and kidney? Man says, I said steak and kiddley, diddle I?
Colonial: What's kiddley? and later, Why would you want steak AND kiddley? (Side note: Steak and Kidney is not popular in this manor, squire).
The whole process is worse than presenting a Joke du Jour to NSC. And plus I'm wasting valuable tanning time. Cah, bloomin' Colonials...I fear my rib-ticklin' days are clearly over in this benighted neck of the woods.
To be fair, the correct answer is the Queen Elizabeth II, and 'out of Cowes' was often used as a euphemism. I attach a helpful picture for you.
Ken Livingstone Seagull
Well-known member
- Thread starter
- #24
What's all that got to do with English Elephants?
That's easy KZ. In a related Hawaiian "joke":
How does an English elephant climb a Palm Tree on Maui?
Sits on a coconut and waits til spring
How does an English elephant get down from a Palm Tree on Maui?
Sits on a coconut and waits til fall.
How can you tell if an English elephant has been in your fridge, in Hawaii?
Footprints in the poi.
As you can see, braddah, English-Hawaiian humor (sic) translates brilliantly.
Juan Albion
Chicken Sniffer 3rd Class
Technically, I get it. But I do think the English elephant would say, "autumn, old boy, autumn."
Icy Gull
Back on the rollercoaster
- Jul 5, 2003
- 72,015
A man was sitting on the underground tearing up bits of paper. When asked by another passenger why he was doing it he replied “to keep the elephants away” “But there aren’t any elephants on the underground” said the second man “Exactly, so you can see how well it works” replied the man tearing up the paper.