[Humour] The perils of English Elephant Jokes Abroad

Juan Albion said:

I'm confused as to why a ferry would be sailing from Cowes to the Isle of Wight.

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Ken Livingstone Seagull said:

Well, it's a round-trip, innit?

Maybe that accounts for the blank stares.

Never was good with punch lines.

I blame a surfeit of eels...and mai tais, m'lud

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Ken Livingstone Seagull said:

Much as I love an obscure joke that no-one understands because it's distinctively English and I'm on the other side of the world, imagine the frustration at explaining the following side-splitter to a colonial colleague:

Me: What's black, steaming, and comes out of Cowes backwards?

Colonial: Blank stare. Cow Poop?

Me: Ha ha. No. The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: Blank Stare. The what?

Me: The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: What the **** is the Hilerwite Very?

Me: It's a ferry, a boat, that starts in Cowes and ends up on the Isle of Wight.

Colonial: Why is it black?

Me: The ferry is painted black.

Colonial: What do Cowes got to do with it ? What's the Hilerwite?

Trust me it was a looong conversation that was seriously not worth the wind-up in the first place. But more fool me, I persisted with another side-splitter.

Me: Man goes into the butchers shop and asks the butcher for a pound of steak and kiddley. Butcher says, do you mean a pound of steak and kidney? Man says, I said steak and kiddley, diddle I?

Colonial: What's kiddley? and later, Why would you want steak AND kiddley? (Side note: Steak and Kidney is not popular in this manor, squire).

The whole process is worse than presenting a Joke du Jour to NSC. And plus I'm wasting valuable tanning time. Cah, bloomin' Colonials...I fear my rib-ticklin' days are clearly over in this benighted neck of the woods.

Click to expand...

Ken Livingstone Seagull said:

Much as I love an obscure joke that no-one understands because it's distinctively English and I'm on the other side of the world, imagine the frustration at explaining the following side-splitter to a colonial colleague:

Me: What's black, steaming, and comes out of Cowes backwards?

Colonial: Blank stare. Cow Poop?

Me: Ha ha. No. The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: Blank Stare. The what?

Me: The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: What the **** is the Hilerwite Very?

Me: It's a ferry, a boat, that starts in Cowes and ends up on the Isle of Wight.

Colonial: Why is it black?

Me: The ferry is painted black.

Colonial: What do Cowes got to do with it ? What's the Hilerwite?

Trust me it was a looong conversation that was seriously not worth the wind-up in the first place. But more fool me, I persisted with another side-splitter.

Me: Man goes into the butchers shop and asks the butcher for a pound of steak and kiddley. Butcher says, do you mean a pound of steak and kidney? Man says, I said steak and kiddley, diddle I?

Colonial: What's kiddley? and later, Why would you want steak AND kiddley? (Side note: Steak and Kidney is not popular in this manor, squire).

The whole process is worse than presenting a Joke du Jour to NSC. And plus I'm wasting valuable tanning time. Cah, bloomin' Colonials...I fear my rib-ticklin' days are clearly over in this benighted neck of the woods.

Click to expand...

Ken Livingstone Seagull said:

Much as I love an obscure joke that no-one understands because it's distinctively English and I'm on the other side of the world, imagine the frustration at explaining the following side-splitter to a colonial colleague:

Me: What's black, steaming, and comes out of Cowes backwards?

Colonial: Blank stare. Cow Poop?

Me: Ha ha. No. The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: Blank Stare. The what?

Me: The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: What the **** is the Hilerwite Very?

Me: It's a ferry, a boat, that starts in Cowes and ends up on the Isle of Wight.

Colonial: Why is it black?

Me: The ferry is painted black.

Colonial: What do Cowes got to do with it ? What's the Hilerwite?

Trust me it was a looong conversation that was seriously not worth the wind-up in the first place. But more fool me, I persisted with another side-splitter.

Me: Man goes into the butchers shop and asks the butcher for a pound of steak and kiddley. Butcher says, do you mean a pound of steak and kidney? Man says, I said steak and kiddley, diddle I?

Colonial: What's kiddley? and later, Why would you want steak AND kiddley? (Side note: Steak and Kidney is not popular in this manor, squire).

The whole process is worse than presenting a Joke du Jour to NSC. And plus I'm wasting valuable tanning time. Cah, bloomin' Colonials...I fear my rib-ticklin' days are clearly over in this benighted neck of the woods.

Click to expand...

Ken Livingstone Seagull said:

Much as I love an obscure joke that no-one understands because it's distinctively English and I'm on the other side of the world, imagine the frustration at explaining the following side-splitter to a colonial colleague:

Me: What's black, steaming, and comes out of Cowes backwards?

Colonial: Blank stare. Cow Poop?

Me: Ha ha. No. The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: Blank Stare. The what?

Me: The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: What the **** is the Hilerwite Very?

Me: It's a ferry, a boat, that starts in Cowes and ends up on the Isle of Wight.

Colonial: Why is it black?

Me: The ferry is painted black.

Colonial: What do Cowes got to do with it ? What's the Hilerwite?

Trust me it was a looong conversation that was seriously not worth the wind-up in the first place. But more fool me, I persisted with another side-splitter.

Me: Man goes into the butchers shop and asks the butcher for a pound of steak and kiddley. Butcher says, do you mean a pound of steak and kidney? Man says, I said steak and kiddley, diddle I?

Colonial: What's kiddley? and later, Why would you want steak AND kiddley? (Side note: Steak and Kidney is not popular in this manor, squire).

The whole process is worse than presenting a Joke du Jour to NSC. And plus I'm wasting valuable tanning time. Cah, bloomin' Colonials...I fear my rib-ticklin' days are clearly over in this benighted neck of the woods.

Click to expand...

Ken Livingstone Seagull said:

Much as I love an obscure joke that no-one understands because it's distinctively English and I'm on the other side of the world, imagine the frustration at explaining the following side-splitter to a colonial colleague:

Me: What's black, steaming, and comes out of Cowes backwards?

Colonial: Blank stare. Cow Poop?

Me: Ha ha. No. The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: Blank Stare. The what?

Me: The Isle of Wight Ferry.

Colonial: What the **** is the Hilerwite Very?

Me: It's a ferry, a boat, that starts in Cowes and ends up on the Isle of Wight.

Colonial: Why is it black?

Me: The ferry is painted black.

Colonial: What do Cowes got to do with it ? What's the Hilerwite?

Trust me it was a looong conversation that was seriously not worth the wind-up in the first place. But more fool me, I persisted with another side-splitter.

Me: Man goes into the butchers shop and asks the butcher for a pound of steak and kiddley. Butcher says, do you mean a pound of steak and kidney? Man says, I said steak and kiddley, diddle I?

Colonial: What's kiddley? and later, Why would you want steak AND kiddley? (Side note: Steak and Kidney is not popular in this manor, squire).

The whole process is worse than presenting a Joke du Jour to NSC. And plus I'm wasting valuable tanning time. Cah, bloomin' Colonials...I fear my rib-ticklin' days are clearly over in this benighted neck of the woods.

Click to expand...