Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

[Humour] So what fantasy has not quite worked out for you...



LamieRobertson

Not awoke
Feb 3, 2008
46,485
SHOREHAM BY SEA
:moo:

From the bbc website


In a sex fantasy gone wrong, two men with machetes entered the wrong house in New South Wales, Australia, before quickly realising their error.
One of them has now been acquitted of entering a home armed with a weapon in July 2019, Australian media report.
They had been hired to carry out a client's fantasy of being tied up in his underwear and stroked with a broom.
The judge concluded that "the facts of the case are unusual".
The role play was arranged over Facebook by a man near Griffith, New South Wales, who provided his address to the hired pair.
"He was willing to pay A$5,000 if it was 'really good'," the judge said.
However, the client moved to another address 50km (30 miles) away without updating the two men. They then entered a home on the street of the original address.
When the resident noticed a light on in his kitchen at 06:15, he assumed it was a friend who came by daily to make morning coffee.
When the men called out the name of their client, the resident turned on the light and removed a sleep apnoea mask he was wearing.
It was then that he saw them standing above his bed with the machetes, which they appeared to have brought as props for the role play.
 


AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,727
Ruislip
I thought this was going to be one of your fantasies, where you finally admit to be a lothario driving your lawnmower around Shoreham, offering your services to cutting ladies bushes and designer garden merkins :lol:
 






Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
19,781
Playing snooker
I thought this was going to be one of your fantasies, where you finally admit to be a lothario driving your lawnmower around Shoreham, offering your services to cutting ladies bushes and designer garden merkins :lol:

I think he's still coming to terms with not getting cast for the Diet Coke ad.
 






WATFORD zero

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 10, 2003
25,662
Now who, hand on heart, can say that they haven't .......................

Calling [MENTION=7631]wellquickwoody[/MENTION], just checking everything's ok with you :wink:
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
19,781
Playing snooker
Never DID get to score that winning goal for Scotland v England to avenge all those years of Home International hurt :down:

:goal:

[MENTION=205]Tom Hark, Preston Park[/MENTION]'s last appearance at Wembley...
 

Attachments

  • 32140892-e1478376439629-1024x656.jpg
    32140892-e1478376439629-1024x656.jpg
    136.8 KB · Views: 135






Chicken Run

Member Since Jul 2003
NSC Patreon
Jul 17, 2003
18,277
Valley of Hangleton
:moo:

From the bbc website


In a sex fantasy gone wrong, two men with machetes entered the wrong house in New South Wales, Australia, before quickly realising their error.
One of them has now been acquitted of entering a home armed with a weapon in July 2019, Australian media report.
They had been hired to carry out a client's fantasy of being tied up in his underwear and stroked with a broom.
The judge concluded that "the facts of the case are unusual".
The role play was arranged over Facebook by a man near Griffith, New South Wales, who provided his address to the hired pair.
"He was willing to pay A$5,000 if it was 'really good'," the judge said.
However, the client moved to another address 50km (30 miles) away without updating the two men. They then entered a home on the street of the original address.
When the resident noticed a light on in his kitchen at 06:15, he assumed it was a friend who came by daily to make morning coffee.
When the men called out the name of their client, the resident turned on the light and removed a sleep apnoea mask he was wearing.
It was then that he saw them standing above his bed with the machetes, which they appeared to have brought as props for the role play.

For me it was when the Dwarf element of a a 4 way didn’t show, I had to be content with the two hookers!!!
 


zefarelly

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
21,715
Sussex, by the sea
I thought this was going to be one of your fantasies, where you finally admit to be a lothario driving your lawnmower around Shoreham, offering your services to cutting ladies bushes and designer garden merkins :lol:

Bugger, that's my new business plan shot.
 




Biscuit Barrel

Well-known member
Jan 28, 2014
2,392
Southwick
When the resident noticed a light on in his kitchen at 06:15, he assumed it was a friend who came by daily to make morning coffee.

Who the hell has a friend come round every day at the crack of dawn to make coffee?
 




zefarelly

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
21,715
Sussex, by the sea
When the resident noticed a light on in his kitchen at 06:15, he assumed it was a friend who came by daily to make morning coffee.

Who the hell has a friend come round every day at the crack of dawn to make coffee?

You don't? :lolol:

The queen maybe? I make Mrs Zef a coffee every morning . . . . although I've upped my game in recent years so she lets me sleep in the house now
 


vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
27,867
I did hear a story doing the rounds in my friends extended circle of a couple in South Africa which was rather spicy. These were a white SA couple who seemed perfectly normal but, the wife rather liked rough sex with the locals..... apparently she would take a shine to one of the local gardeners or pool cleaners and slip them some cash and explain that she wanted them to creep in to the house at a given time while she was pretending to be asleep and effectively rape her !
 



Paying the bills

Latest Discussions

Paying the bills

Paying the bills

Paying the bills

Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here