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[Misc] Care Homes



Westdene Seagull

Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Patron
Oct 27, 2003
20,996
The arse end of Hangleton
Slightly Covid-19 related but thought this was more appropriate for the main board.

So my Dad has just been informed he is at high risk of Covid-19 by the NHS - he's 78 with COPD ( and all regular posters will remember this from BG - RIP ). This has 'encouraged' him to plan for my Mum's future. She has Primary Lateral Sclerosis which means she needs constant assistance for the most basic of functions. Myself and my siblings are discussing Power of Attorney and will discuss with my parents this week.

In the meantime I need to find a care home that could take my Mum at very short notice should my Dad be hospitalised and possibly long term should the worse happen.

Does anyone have experience of doing this ? My main concern is the horror stories you see on things like Watchdog about some places but I have no idea how I tell a good home from a bad one. Obviously I can read the CQC reports but how accurate are they ? Any recommendations in the Brighton ( Patcham, Westdene, Withdean area ) or Hove ( Hangleton area ) ?

Stressful time and I really want to do the best for my parents - it's just a challenge.

NB - before someone suggests it, my house isn't suitable for my Mum, my brother can't have her stay as he has severe MS and my sister lives over 200 miles away.
 
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Chicken Run

Chicken Run

Member Since Jul 2003
NSC Patron
Jul 17, 2003
18,430
Valley of Hangleton
A mate of mine found a private care home fairly quick yin Dyke Road, so I don’t think the short notice is an issue, the cost however will be and it may be If feasible, time to look into equity release schemes assuming that your parents own their home?

Edit, have just remembered that the care home seemed fairly happy to wait on payment till his mother’s house was sold, it was under offer though at time of moving in and they monitored the sale weekly.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
 


Tom Hark Preston Park

Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
70,143
Horrible dilemma and I wish you all the best. Can I ask, do your mum and dad live together? Do they have a spare room? When my mum started going seriously downhill healthwise, me and me bruvs managed to find a local carer willing to live-in. Can't remember the exact details now, think she got to live-in rent-free, and we chipped in to provide her with a reasonable level of wage on top. Probably flew in the face of all sorts of rules and regulations, but in the small village where me mum and the carer both lived it suited both parties (not to mention me and me far-flung bruvs) admirably
 


PILTDOWN MAN

PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
18,695
Hurst Green
Don't envy you at the moment.

Went through it number of years ago with my nan but unfortunately she never got to leave hospital.

it's very difficult currently as you would normally wish to see the place properly and even chat with some residents and their families. I don't know but is there a local chatroom/twitter group in Brighton for relatives of people in homes?
 


Westdene Seagull

Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Patron
Oct 27, 2003
20,996
The arse end of Hangleton
Tom Hark said:
Horrible dilemma and I wish you all the best. Can I ask, do your mum and dad live together? Do they have a spare room? When my mum started going seriously downhill healthwise, me and me bruvs managed to find a local carer willing to live-in. Can't remember the exact details now, think she got to live-in rent-free, and we chipped in to provide her with a reasonable level of wage on top. Probably flew in the face of all sorts of rules and regulations, but in the small village where me mum and the carer both lived it suited both parties (not to mention me and me far-flung bruvs) admirably
Click to expand...

Good idea - thank you, I will look into a live in carer.
 




AmexRuislip

AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,801
Ruislip
Westdene Seagull said:
Slightly Covid-19 related but thought this was more appropriate for the main board.

So my Dad has just been informed he is at high risk of Covid-19 by the NHS - he's 78 with COPD ( and all regular posters will remember this from BG - RIP ). This has 'encouraged' him to plan for my Mum's future. She has Primary Lateral Sclerosis which means she needs constant assistance for the most basic of functions. Myself and my siblings are discussing Power of Attorney and will discuss with my parents this week.

In the meantime I need to find a care home that could take my Mum at very short notice should my Dad be hospitalised and possibly long term should the worse happen.

Does anyone have experience of doing this ? My main concern is the horror stories you see on things like Watchdog about some places but I have no idea how I tell a good home from a bad one. Obviously I can read the CQC reports but how accurate are they ? Any recommendations in the Brighton ( Patcham, Westdene, Withdean area ) or Hove ( Hangleton area ) ?

Stressful time and I really want to do the best for my parents - it's just a challenge.

NB - before someone suggests it, my house isn't suitable for my Mum, my brother can't have her stay as he has severe MS and my sister lives over 200 miles away.
Click to expand...


I do feel for you somewhat.
My mum developed vascular dementia two years ago, where she started to develop another side to her personality, all as per her illness.
As my sister and I live a fair distance away, my dad was left to face the brunt of my mums issues.
In the end my dad called the emergency services, who together with the local authorities had my mum placed in an home that deals with dementia, as an emergency placement, as my dad couldnt cope anymore.
Fast forward to now, my dad is basically happy now that my mum has settled in the home.
It's not an ideal situation for them, being married for all those years and being apart, but it's the best thing for all.
The CQC reports are quite revealing with different care homes and accurate (my opinion).
My advice would to be use your local authorities for help, and if you hit a door, keep knocking.

The home has set up an access so we can login to see how my mums care is recorded.
https://personcentredsoftware.com/

Hope this helps :)
 


D

Diablo

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 22, 2014
4,185
lewes
Westdene Seagull said:
Slightly Covid-19 related but thought this was more appropriate for the main board.

So my Dad has just been informed he is at high risk of Covid-19 by the NHS - he's 78 with COPD ( and all regular posters will remember this from BG - RIP ). This has 'encouraged' him to plan for my Mum's future. She has Primary Lateral Sclerosis which means she needs constant assistance for the most basic of functions. Myself and my siblings are discussing Power of Attorney and will discuss with my parents this week.

In the meantime I need to find a care home that could take my Mum at very short notice should my Dad be hospitalised and possibly long term should the worse happen.

Does anyone have experience of doing this ? My main concern is the horror stories you see on things like Watchdog about some places but I have no idea how I tell a good home from a bad one. Obviously I can read the CQC reports but how accurate are they ? Any recommendations in the Brighton ( Patcham, Westdene, Withdean area ) or Hove ( Hangleton area ) ?

Stressful time and I really want to do the best for my parents - it's just a challenge.

NB - before someone suggests it, my house isn't suitable for my Mum, my brother can't have her stay as he has severe MS and my sister lives over 200 miles away.
Click to expand...

Look at Wilbury Care Home in Hove. Very good reviews.
 


sydney

sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,750
town full of eejits
Westdene Seagull said:
Slightly Covid-19 related but thought this was more appropriate for the main board.

So my Dad has just been informed he is at high risk of Covid-19 by the NHS - he's 78 with COPD ( and all regular posters will remember this from BG - RIP ). This has 'encouraged' him to plan for my Mum's future. She has Primary Lateral Sclerosis which means she needs constant assistance for the most basic of functions. Myself and my siblings are discussing Power of Attorney and will discuss with my parents this week.

In the meantime I need to find a care home that could take my Mum at very short notice should my Dad be hospitalised and possibly long term should the worse happen.

Does anyone have experience of doing this ? My main concern is the horror stories you see on things like Watchdog about some places but I have no idea how I tell a good home from a bad one. Obviously I can read the CQC reports but how accurate are they ? Any recommendations in the Brighton ( Patcham, Westdene, Withdean area ) or Hove ( Hangleton area ) ?

Stressful time and I really want to do the best for my parents - it's just a challenge.

NB - before someone suggests it, my house isn't suitable for my Mum, my brother can't have her stay as he has severe MS and my sister lives over 200 miles away.
Click to expand...

ally can do is search them on line ,look for ratings , comments , testimonials etc and then call ones you like the look of and go for a look , the council will pay a portion of the fee if your folks own the house , however if a family member moves in and becomes a carer then once time comes for your mum go into a home the council will cover the full cost and the carer cannot be moved out of the house , your mum will need to be in a pretty poor state to get a place in a home in these circumstances....it's a head **** i'm afraid , after looking into all the options we sold the house , put the money in the bank and just paid the monthly fee minus my mums pension .....it's about 900 quid a week for a good one.....good luck , hope you don't need to act for a while...x
 




S

Sirnormangall

Well-known member
Sep 21, 2017
2,965
Westdene Seagull said:
Slightly Covid-19 related but thought this was more appropriate for the main board.

So my Dad has just been informed he is at high risk of Covid-19 by the NHS - he's 78 with COPD ( and all regular posters will remember this from BG - RIP ). This has 'encouraged' him to plan for my Mum's future. She has Primary Lateral Sclerosis which means she needs constant assistance for the most basic of functions. Myself and my siblings are discussing Power of Attorney and will discuss with my parents this week.

In the meantime I need to find a care home that could take my Mum at very short notice should my Dad be hospitalised and possibly long term should the worse happen.

Does anyone have experience of doing this ? My main concern is the horror stories you see on things like Watchdog about some places but I have no idea how I tell a good home from a bad one. Obviously I can read the CQC reports but how accurate are they ? Any recommendations in the Brighton ( Patcham, Westdene, Withdean area ) or Hove ( Hangleton area ) ?

Stressful time and I really want to do the best for my parents - it's just a challenge.

NB - before someone suggests it, my house isn't suitable for my Mum, my brother can't have her stay as he has severe MS and my sister lives over 200 miles away.
Click to expand...

So sorry to hear about your circumstances. My mother was admitted to Deanwood home in Woodingdean (next to the Nuffield) and was looked after exceptionally well in her last few months. It was clean, modern and peaceful. Importantly, it seemed to be staffed and managed by the right people. I hope you get it sorted as best as these things can be sorted.
 


Thunder Bolt

Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
Aug 18, 2009
65,429
Beside the seaside, beside the sea
My mother was going into Deanwood, but her health changed, so she went elsewhere, but my family really like the home.
 


Weststander

Weststander

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Aug 25, 2011
63,903
Withdean area
Always check out the CQC’s latest report for a care home, looking out for criticisms under their traffic lights system. It may not be a 100% perfect system, but through family in the sector, it works. They’re not afraid of dishing out scathing and deserved criticism. Steer clear of those establishments.
 




jessiejames

jessiejames

Never late in a V8
Jan 20, 2009
2,701
Brighton, United Kingdom
Westdene Seagull said:
Slightly Covid-19 related but thought this was more appropriate for the main board.

So my Dad has just been informed he is at high risk of Covid-19 by the NHS - he's 78 with COPD ( and all regular posters will remember this from BG - RIP ). This has 'encouraged' him to plan for my Mum's future. She has Primary Lateral Sclerosis which means she needs constant assistance for the most basic of functions. Myself and my siblings are discussing Power of Attorney and will discuss with my parents this week.

In the meantime I need to find a care home that could take my Mum at very short notice should my Dad be hospitalised and possibly long term should the worse happen.

Does anyone have experience of doing this ? My main concern is the horror stories you see on things like Watchdog about some places but I have no idea how I tell a good home from a bad one. Obviously I can read the CQC reports but how accurate are they ? Any recommendations in the Brighton ( Patcham, Westdene, Withdean area ) or Hove ( Hangleton area ) ?

Stressful time and I really want to do the best for my parents - it's just a challenge.

NB - before someone suggests it, my house isn't suitable for my Mum, my brother can't have her stay as he has severe MS and my sister lives over 200 miles away.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear about what's going on, sorry I can not help you but I am sure you will get some genuine good advice and help from many on hear. Just wish I could be of assistance. Hope everything works out well for your whole family.
 


Weststander

Weststander

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Aug 25, 2011
63,903
Withdean area
Weststander said:
Always check out the CQC’s latest report for a care home, looking out for criticisms under their traffic lights system. It may not be a 100% perfect system, but through family in the sector, it works. They’re not afraid of dishing out scathing and deserved criticism. Steer clear of those establishments.
Click to expand...

Edit, I’ve just asked my itk, these are rated well:

Deanwood
Patcham Nursing Home
All the Victoria nursing homes
Lindridge
 


FamilyGuy

FamilyGuy

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
2,381
Crawley
I had similar issues for my mum - albeit in Hertfordshire - my advice, involve Social Services and also ask AgeUK. Both organisations were very helpful to me and my mum. The former helped to get things moving and both provided advice and guidance.
PoA is essential and easy to do online.
Care Homes will defer payments until mums house is sold if that is an issue. Social Services/Local Council both subsidised my mums costs for us.

Good luck.
 




spongy

spongy

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2011
2,764
Burgess Hill
Sirnormangall said:
So sorry to hear about your circumstances. My mother was admitted to Deanwood home in Woodingdean (next to the Nuffield) and was looked after exceptionally well in her last few months. It was clean, modern and peaceful. Importantly, it seemed to be staffed and managed by the right people. I hope you get it sorted as best as these things can be sorted.
Click to expand...

Thunder Bolt said:
My mother was going into Deanwood, but her health changed, so she went elsewhere, but my family really like the home.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't go near Deanwood at the moment. Its a good home but it is currently dealing with a Covid19 outbreak.

I only know this because my wifes Nan was in there until a fortnight ago. She died from Covid19 and there have been other deaths too. The funeral is tomorrow.
 


Live by the sea

Live by the sea

Well-known member
Oct 21, 2016
4,718
Totally agree with the live in carer idea. If there is sufficient space , they need their own bedroom and usually want their own bathroom . A proper qualified carer that is living in , would charge around £500 PW whereas a decent quality care home charges approx £1000 per week.

Usually staying at home in your own environment is better as well and at the moment with the virus far far safer .

I also agree about care quality Commission, they are excellent at honest & constructive feedback .
 
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T

Trevor

In my Fifties, still know nothing
NSC Patron
Dec 16, 2012
2,158
Milton Keynes
Westdene Seagull said:
Slightly Covid-19 related but thought this was more appropriate for the main board.

So my Dad has just been informed he is at high risk of Covid-19 by the NHS - he's 78 with COPD ( and all regular posters will remember this from BG - RIP ). This has 'encouraged' him to plan for my Mum's future. She has Primary Lateral Sclerosis which means she needs constant assistance for the most basic of functions. Myself and my siblings are discussing Power of Attorney and will discuss with my parents this week.

In the meantime I need to find a care home that could take my Mum at very short notice should my Dad be hospitalised and possibly long term should the worse happen.

Does anyone have experience of doing this ? My main concern is the horror stories you see on things like Watchdog about some places but I have no idea how I tell a good home from a bad one. Obviously I can read the CQC reports but how accurate are they ? Any recommendations in the Brighton ( Patcham, Westdene, Withdean area ) or Hove ( Hangleton area ) ?

Stressful time and I really want to do the best for my parents - it's just a challenge.

NB - before someone suggests it, my house isn't suitable for my Mum, my brother can't have her stay as he has severe MS and my sister lives over 200 miles away.
Click to expand...
We put my Dad into a dementia care home last year - it took him a little while to settle but he did and is happier than when he was at home with Mum (he had been her carer - tough story really). We had started to visit care homes hadn't found one we liked when there was a minor violent incident which forced our hand. Luckily he ended up in by far the best we had seen. I had by this stage got a little mental checklist - very short - go on a visit
Find out the ratio of patients to staff (your Mum's condition differs to my Dad's so I don't know what a good ratio is - sorry - but try to compare a few)
Do the residents appear engaged / moderately happy
In the care home was it tidy/ does it smell?
Read the latest CQC report (they are not perfect but they are the best thing we have in terms of a professional opinion - they are written in a style that we can all understand)
Ask the staff about whether there are any restrictions on visiting.
Speak to staff - ask how long they've been there - a stable workforce with a little or no temporary staff helps a lot (I had concluded this before this all kicked off)
I think that's it, good luck
 
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