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  1. #1

    A real virologist speaks...

    5 Not allowed!
    Copied.. read and comprehend you twats!

    As someone with a Masters in disease control, you can only imagine the sheer hell on earth that Facebook is for me at the moment.

    From Chantelle who has impressively made the leap from bath bomb retailer to consultant virologist in a matter of weeks and can tell you exactly why the government and their experts are wrong, to Bob who claims to have secret intel from a secret government group on the secret programme of secret treatment measures that the government are definitely bringing in at 3pm next Thursday, only itís a secret, but heís posting it on Facebook so he feels like 007, to Steve who thinks itís all a load of bollocks and if he wants to wander round town he bloody well can and why the **** is Ďspoons shut cos his granddad didnít fight the nazis for him to be told to stay inside even if pornhub premium is now free for a week.

    I tried as hard as I could in my studies and in my work in disease control to avoid viruses like the plague (see what I did there?) because they are absolute ********. Bacteria are so much easier to control and parasites are positively dreamy. Viruses are utter ******** (did I mention that?) because you can do almost **** all to them. To deal with viruses you have to deal with the viral vector instead. Thatís the weak point for a virus. Its vector. Only in this case the vector is humans, bloody stupid, ******** humans like Chantelle, Bob and Steve. Viral control is about psychology more than itís about medicine and thatís whatís scary about it. Giving everyone a pill is easy, getting everyone to listen and change their behaviour is a ****ing nightmare.

    The virus is just chugging along being a virus, itís living itís best life #livelaughcough. You canít ignore it out of existence, scaremonger it away or become magically immune by gargling with vinegar, donning a decorating mask or sticking a live frog up your arse and swanning round town like an immortal dickhead. You have to actually do what youíre being told to do. YOU.

    YOU. You can stop it. Do what youíre told. Stay the **** inside. Stop thinking youíre an expert, stop thinking you know best, stop thinking youíre a rebel, stop trying to be a special little cupcake. Be a sheeple. Do what youíve been asked to do. This is NOT your time to shine sweet cheeks, this isnít your opportunity to over throw the system and save mankind. Itís your opportunity to sit tight, watch Netflix and save mankind.

    The virus does not give a shit about you. Youíre just a stepping stone, a host, a nameless, faceless breeding ground and launchpad. All it gives a shit about is reproducing and finding new hosts. Donít let it. Break the chain. Shut the hell up. Stop spreading fake news, fear and gossip. Let the experts be the experts and do what they tell you because all the googling, all the conspiracy theories, all the spoilt princess routines and all the voodoo bullshit in the world is not going to help you one little bit. This is not about YOUR ego, itís about OUR survival. So act for the good of us all and do what youíre being asked to do.

    Stay inside, protect the NHS, save lives.


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