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  1. #1
    Panic! At The Amex Tom Hark, Preston Park's Avatar
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    Bellcheeses In The Supermarket (Coronavirus Edition)


    10 Not allowed!
    Rich new seam of material here methinks, based on my first (and definitely last) trip to Saino's Local for a while

    LEVEL 1 - General Bellcheeses

    - Bellcheeses that appear to have no concept of 'one out, one in'. They'll happily stand outside there all day til somebody behind them in the queue gives them a prod
    - Bellcheeses that, having achieved the nirvana of being allowed access to the store, apparently decide never to come out again

    LEVEL 2 - Specific Bellcheeses

    - Bellcheese in front of me in the checkout queue rocks up, buys a packet of chewing gum and chucks a fistful of lottery tickets on the counter. Each must be checked and verified. Except the lottery machine is bust. And there's only two operators allowed on the tills. And both spend at least five minutes fannying around with the ****'s essential lottery shopping needs while the queues build up both inside and outside. Sake!

    And... RELAX

    Or... buy a TASER
    Last edited by Tom Hark, Preston Park; 02-04-2020 at 11:15.
    Buy The Ticket,Take The Ride - Hunter S. Thompson
  2. #2
    Members Tim Over Whelmed's Avatar
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    21 Not allowed!
    LEVEL 3 - The absolute f***wit who takes pleasure in encroaching on people's space, knowing it's making the other person uncomfortable and then laughs when you politely ask them to observe this.

    Come the revolution Bro, you'll be this first up against the wall and bloody shot, this sin't a f***ing joke, it's real!
  3. #3
    Members father_and_son's Avatar
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    1 Not allowed!
    Quote Originally Posted by Tim Over Whelmed View Post
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    LEVEL 3 - The absolute f***wit who takes pleasure in encroaching on people's space, knowing it's making the other person uncomfortable and then laughs when you politely ask them to observe this.

    Come the revolution Bro, you'll be this first up against the wall and bloody shot, this sin't a f***ing joke, it's real!
    Worse...
    Little old dear: at the meat fridge selecting which specific packet of bacon to buy (side cheesiness: look with your eyes not your f*"king hands).
    Me: respectful, social distancing gap, stood back, (not so) patiently waiting so I can approach said fridge.
    Bellcheese behind me:. "Grrr, tut, grr" at me for standing still in the middle of the aisle, waiting for little old dear.
  4. #4

    9 Not allowed!
    Fannying around generally

    It get's right on my tits
  5. #5
    Panic! At The Amex Tom Hark, Preston Park's Avatar
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    3 Not allowed!
    Quote Originally Posted by WATFORD zero View Post
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    Fannying around generally

    It get's right on my tits
    I have no problem with fannying around generally. It's fannying around at the back that gets my GOAT
    Buy The Ticket,Take The Ride - Hunter S. Thompson
  6. #6
    Brighton Bhuna Boy Beach Hut's Avatar
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    7 Not allowed!
    In the cheese shop today, waiting patiently outside as only one person at a time and after her husband directed from the door as to what to buy she promptly dropped the eggs on the floor - ****wittery of the highest order and ensured I had to wait another 5 minutes.
    I surrender all control
    To the desire that consumes me whole
    Leads me by the hand to infinity
    Lies in wait at the heart of me - the Albion of course !
  7. #7
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    0 Not allowed!
    Quote Originally Posted by Beach Hut View Post
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    In the cheese shop today, waiting patiently outside as only one person at a time and after her husband directed from the door as to what to buy she promptly dropped the eggs on the floor - ****wittery of the highest order and ensured I had to wait another 5 minutes.
    Smashing......

    Back on topic, Waitrose in Worthing have instigated a strict queuing system down the side of the building and then round the car park. Most shoppers respect the 2m in front and behind rule. Trouble is, the path on which shoppers queue is only about 1.5m wide, with a wall on one side and trolleys on the other. Now, rather than follow the route round the outside of the trolleys , a number of individuals choose to walk down the path, totally negating the social distancing rules those queuing are following. I don’t like them, I don’t........
    You're my guitar hero.
  8. #8
    Members Norman Potting's Avatar
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    1 Not allowed!
    Quote Originally Posted by Beach Hut View Post
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    In the cheese shop today, waiting patiently outside as only one person at a time and after her husband directed from the door as to what to buy she promptly dropped the eggs on the floor - ****wittery of the highest order and ensured I had to wait another 5 minutes.
    Did they have good stocks of Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
    1 -2 and Arsenal are still all over the place!
  9. #9
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    0 Not allowed!
    Quote Originally Posted by Beach Hut View Post
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    In the cheese shop today, waiting patiently outside as only one person at a time and after her husband directed from the door as to what to buy she promptly dropped the eggs on the floor - ****wittery of the highest order and ensured I had to wait another 5 minutes.
    There are currently 11 pages in this thread. I am the first to mention the fact that you (and others) are popping down to the cheese shop?
  10. #10
    Brighton Bhuna Boy Beach Hut's Avatar
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    0 Not allowed!
    Quote Originally Posted by Machiavelli View Post
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    There are currently 11 pages in this thread. I am the first to mention the fact that you (and others) are popping down to the cheese shop?
    Well it is open, near Hove lagoon so visited it on my bike ride - problem ?
    I surrender all control
    To the desire that consumes me whole
    Leads me by the hand to infinity
    Lies in wait at the heart of me - the Albion of course !

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