A question: if ones parents become ill

herecomesaregular · Mar 24, 2020

Sorry but this has been bothering me.

My parents are 81 and 79, both in pretty good health and no symptoms. They've followed the advice and in fact started proper lock down two days before Boris' announcement last night. They live in Seaford and I'm in Brighton.

I'm worried if one of them did start symptoms how well the other might cope in supporting them (my mum supporting my dad especially).

If one of them did get the recognised symptoms, and self isolated in one room in the bungalow, am I allowed to go and live-in with them full time also in full isolation within the property? That's a risk to me but I wouldn't care, as a fit 47 yo, trying to care for them.

I'm thinking the answer is no..... but I want to put it out there... no dickhead comments would be appreciated.

WATFORD zero · Mar 24, 2020

herecomesaregular said:
Sorry but this has been bothering me.

My parents are 81 and 79, both in pretty good health and no symptoms. They've followed the advice and in fact started proper lock down two days before Boris' announcement last night. They live in Seaford and I'm in Brighton.

I'm worried if one of them did start symptoms how well the other might cope in supporting them (my mum supporting my dad especially).

If one of them did get the recognised symptoms, and self isolated in one room in the bungalow, am I allowed to go and live-in with them full time also in full isolation within the property? That's a risk to me but I wouldn't care, as a fit 47 yo, trying to care for them.

I'm thinking the answer is no..... but I want to put it out there... no dickhead comments would be appreciated.

That sounds eminently sensible. Mrs Wz and I both have one close relative each who would be at risk, who currently live on their own. (Both quite fit for their age, but 84 and 92 respectively).

We had discussed bringing them both to our house, but with myself, Mrs Wz and our daughter living with us, we think they are at less risk where they are, (we are delivering food etc). However, if either of them start to feel unwell, we would immediately bring them here to look after them.

Blue Valkyrie · Mar 24, 2020

herecomesaregular said:
Sorry but this has been bothering me.

My parents are 81 and 79, both in pretty good health and no symptoms. They've followed the advice and in fact started proper lock down two days before Boris' announcement last night. They live in Seaford and I'm in Brighton.

I'm worried if one of them did start symptoms how well the other might cope in supporting them (my mum supporting my dad especially).

If one of them did get the recognised symptoms, and self isolated in one room in the bungalow, am I allowed to go and live-in with them full time also in full isolation within the property? That's a risk to me but I wouldn't care, as a fit 47 yo, trying to care for them.

I'm thinking the answer is no..... but I want to put it out there... no dickhead comments would be appreciated.

Of course you can - as of today's lockdown.

If the lockdown gets harsher you may not be able to travel there, though.

BBassic · Mar 24, 2020

We've wondered this as well. My girlfriend's mum is nearing 70 and lives on her own. Think if her mum were to get ill she'd go over there and isolate with her.

Poojah · Mar 24, 2020

It’s a really difficult one. My parents are both in their early 70s, healthy but naturally becoming more frail as time goes by. Myself and the family live in Leeds, a city with lots of people moving in and out and far more official cases then where they live and are currently locked down.

For the time being, we’re keeping away from them. No one in our family is showing symptoms, but there’s still an inherent risk of one of us carrying it and transmitting it to them if we went to see them.

However, in a situation whereby one is having to care for the other with the virus, I’d imagine the chances of both getting it are reasonably high. In that context, I think the benefits of going to care for them outweigh the risks.

darkwolf666 · Mar 24, 2020

Blue Valkyrie said:
Of course you can - as of today's lockdown.

If the lockdown gets harsher you may not be able to travel there, though.

I'm fairly sure you would be able to travel to support someone with health issues. I am also sure no-one has ever suggested the vulnerable should be left to fend for themselves if ill.

Saladpack Seagull · Mar 24, 2020

I'm pretty sure I saw on the news that you CAN go to help vulnerable people, this being one of the few cases where travelling is allowed. Hope your parents remain fine anyway and that you don't have to step in.

herecomesaregular · Mar 24, 2020

Thanks Team NSC, I feel better about it now, if the worst was to happen and they went down with it. :thumbsup:

Petunia · Mar 24, 2020

My mum is 95, lives alone and is pretty much housebound anyway. Back in July, when my sister-in-law died, she made me promise that I would get the first flight back when ‘her time came’ as my brother wouldn’t cope on his own.
I am dreading what might happen over the coming months to be honest.
Stay safe one and all x

WATFORD zero · Mar 26, 2020

Petunia said:
My mum is 95, lives alone and is pretty much housebound anyway. Back in July, when my sister-in-law died, she made me promise that I would get the first flight back when ‘her time came’ as my brother wouldn’t cope on his own.
I am dreading what might happen over the coming months to be honest.
Stay safe one and all x

Are you 'down under' temporarily then ?

(untended euphemism) :wink:

Petunia · Mar 26, 2020

WATFORD zero said:
Are you 'down under' temporarily then ?

(untended euphemism)

No, I live here now but I fly back every year to visit my mum and the rest of the family**. She wants me to fly back to be with my brother to deal with the necessary arrangements when, as she puts it, ‘her time comes’.

Her aunt died a few years back aged 105 so I’ve told her she could well have another 10 years in her!

Fingers crossed I get back at some point in 2020 for my regular annual visit.

**I obviously aim to get a trip to the Amex too :thumbsup:

GT49er · Mar 26, 2020

herecomesaregular said:
Sorry but this has been bothering me.

My parents are 81 and 79, both in pretty good health and no symptoms. They've followed the advice and in fact started proper lock down two days before Boris' announcement last night. They live in Seaford and I'm in Brighton.

I'm worried if one of them did start symptoms how well the other might cope in supporting them (my mum supporting my dad especially).

If one of them did get the recognised symptoms, and self isolated in one room in the bungalow, am I allowed to go and live-in with them full time also in full isolation within the property? That's a risk to me but I wouldn't care, as a fit 47 yo, trying to care for them.

I'm thinking the answer is no..... but I want to put it out there... no dickhead comments would be appreciated.

I'd be thinking yes - but once you got there I think you'd have to stay. I don't think you can pop between your home and theirs (although professional carers obviously do).

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A question: if ones parents become ill

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