So I was bored... and I guess you dont need to go in to detail the way I do unless you really want to. But bring em out anyway - a squad of your favorite footballers, Albion or not.
Manager (I'll take three please)
Graham Potter - obvious.
Frank Rijkaard - I love this man. I had dinner with him (and some other football people and journos) ten years ago or so and he just oozes warmth. When you are saying something, he puts his hand on your shoulder and looks you in the eyes. It sound simple, but hundreds of small details like that just makes him a terrific human. Very funny as well. Him asking the restaurant manager if we could smoke inside just adds to it.
Lars Lagerbäck - you British people might know Lasse from events like "getting ****ed over by Iceland" and "not beating Sweden for 40 years". Known for being a tactical and boring coach playing "Social Democracy football", he still didnt give a **** about experts and fans flaming. Excellent results, dry and warm man.
Goalkeepers
Magnus Hedman - when I started following football in 2000, Hedman was probably the best Swedish keeper. He is a big city type of guy, likes fancy partying and stuff; I think its very uncool but when he started crying in media about his "drug addiction" I had to add him to some type of list. All these "EXTRA" headlines about some stupid blonde keepers habit to pour a bit of amphetamine in the morning coffee. Half of Sweden was snoring; other half would without their speed. Fun.
Martin Pieckenhagen - was secretly one of Bundesligas best goalkeepers for several years and then moved to Heracles where he remained brilliant. No one is ever gonna give this man any recognition, so I'll grab that chance.
Marco Ballotta - it was fun when Lazio signed a 41 year old backup keeper and it was hilarious when they ****ed up enough to force him to be the number one at age 44. Watching someones homeless uncle desperately struggling with all types of attempts was one of my great pleasures in his last Lazio season.
Defenders
Cafú
The second best player I've ever seen after Lionel Messi. Perfection. Complete player, excellent in more or less every appearance up until the end. As a human being I generally dont like perfection, but somehow accept it or even embrace it when it comes from a right back. Its more relatable; I cant be bothered by a Nobel prize winner, but a cleaner using a mop and bucket like a... wizard stick (is that the English expression for it..?) is something beautiful.
Olof Mellberg
Any Swede really would probably have Mellberg somewhere on the list. "I'm not interested in football, only in winning". To me he was a world class defender during all those Aston Villa years. Sure, he couldnt actually play - but boy could he defend. A monster.
Igors Stepanovs
Everyone hated him so naturally I decided to love him. Is seen as a joke but was actually underrated. In terms of win %, Tony Adams best central defense partner all time.
Sylvinho
The Brazilian left back was a backup in Arsenal, Barcelona and Manchester City but always, always played well. Friendly, professional, never complained about his situation.
Khalid Boulahrouz
When he got selected to Marco van Bastens Oranje for the first time it was a signal saying "ok, we're done with the De Boers and Stams and whatnot for a while... this is what you get". Boula couldnt play football, but he could do what the manager told him. In every game both in the Dutch NT, in Hamburg and in Chelsea, he would be carded for fouling a key player. I remember writing a preview about Holland - Portugal in 2004 (06? dont remember) where I said Boulahrouz would get a red for taking Cristian Ronaldo out of the game... it took like three minutes before Ronaldo was crying and I cheered like a madman.
Carles Puyol
To this date I wonder: was Puyol a world class player or did he just have a world class attitude? Either way he was a joy to watch, impossible not to respect regardless of what your favorite team might have been.
Gaetan Bong
Not yet a permanent addition but I just find his exceptional meaninglesness combined with an percieved arrogancy a very compelling combination.
Midfielders
Håkan Mild
Couldnt play, but could run. That was enough to win the bronze in the 1994 World cup. When I was 10 I read a long article about him, where he told the journalists that he would pinch opponents at corners or step on their feet randomly. From that day, it was not fun playing against me.
Georgino Wijnaldum
I saw his debut in Feyenoord and immediatly thought "this guy is gonna turn world class" (well, I said the same thing about Royston Drenthe...). It took far longer than I expected but now he's there. He was also one of the first players younger than me, which was sort of a horror.
Clarence Seedorf
He is in the Cafu category of absolute brilliance.If you ask "who was the best player you ever played against?" to almost any CL player from the mid 90s to 2010, surprisingly many would answer Seedorf. His skill, passing, shooting, even defending was just pure class all day every day.
Philip Cocu
When Barcelona was at their worst, Cocu was still great and when he returned to PSV. I had the opportunity to interview him once and I'm not sure I've ever met a more boring man, but on the field he was both excellent and underrated.
Mark van Bommel
Disgusting. I love him. Always burning. Very, very traditional Dutch - believes he is God's gift to mankind, knows everything and took no shit and no prisoners, yet a friendly, fun and intelligent person. Won lots of titles everywhere and it was no coincidence.
Kleberson
This man. Came from absolutely nowhere and won the World Cup in 2002, later signing with Manchester United where he was considered a joke. Then completely disappears for like seven years until he again out of nowhere gets in to the Brazil squad for the 2010 World Cup. Randomness at its best.
Alex de Souza
Attacking midfielder with 12 goals in 48 appearances for Brazil and insanely good in Fenerbahce 2004-2012. 171 goals and 136 assists in 341 games is no joke. For sooo many years I was hoping that the bigger audience would get to see his brilliance, but unfortunately it never happened.
Mohamed Aboutrika
The best African to never play in a club outside of Africa. Actually Egypt has had a few really good players over the years but Al Ahly has always been able to pay as much as European top clubs. Selected as the best player based in Africa four times, and with good reason. A joy to watch and the only player who has ever made me stream the Egyptian league.
Pablo Infante *
See podcast below
Strikers
Pierre van Hooijdonk
My favorite player all time. Excellent scorer, the best fee kick taker in the world and with his 193 cm, long legs and long hair he just looked extremely powerful. I was really happy when Van Basten made him his first choice striker in 2004, ahead of RvN, Kluivert, Makaay, Hasselbaink etc. 335 goals in 551 league appearances. His son Sydney is now a professional footballer, also a very good free kick taker and unignorably a very, very white boy.
Marco Delvecchio
Francesco Totti. Alessandro Del Piero. Filippo Inzaghi. Robert Baggio, Christian Vieri. Who would you pick for your Euro 2000 final? Dino Zoff went with Delvecchio. Its sort of like having Shearer, Owen, Rooney, Sheringham and Kane and then settle for Heskey. I have a certain thing for bad players in great teams.
Gaizka Toquero
Couldnt play football. Loved him.
* Pablo Infante
It was the most boring day of winter 2012; we were out of weed, there was no exciting football to watch and we had no alcohol either. Magic happened when a friend came over with a sack of ketamine, and me and my roomie decided to watch the Spanish cup where Mirandes were playing against Espanyol. Surprisingly the tier 3 side won and got into the quarterfinals. Star player was Pablo Infante, some kind of 30yo bank man who at the time was the top scorer of the Spanish cup.
Naturally, or possibly chemically, we decided to make art, music, blogs and podcasts about this man. If you dont overdo ketamine and just take exactly enough, you dont really get ****ed, you only get curious. Still, recording this 12 min podcast at that state of mind is something I consider one of my greatest achievments.
Warning: Its very boring and perhaps even more uninteresting.
Manager (I'll take three please)
Graham Potter - obvious.
Frank Rijkaard - I love this man. I had dinner with him (and some other football people and journos) ten years ago or so and he just oozes warmth. When you are saying something, he puts his hand on your shoulder and looks you in the eyes. It sound simple, but hundreds of small details like that just makes him a terrific human. Very funny as well. Him asking the restaurant manager if we could smoke inside just adds to it.
Lars Lagerbäck - you British people might know Lasse from events like "getting ****ed over by Iceland" and "not beating Sweden for 40 years". Known for being a tactical and boring coach playing "Social Democracy football", he still didnt give a **** about experts and fans flaming. Excellent results, dry and warm man.
Goalkeepers
Magnus Hedman - when I started following football in 2000, Hedman was probably the best Swedish keeper. He is a big city type of guy, likes fancy partying and stuff; I think its very uncool but when he started crying in media about his "drug addiction" I had to add him to some type of list. All these "EXTRA" headlines about some stupid blonde keepers habit to pour a bit of amphetamine in the morning coffee. Half of Sweden was snoring; other half would without their speed. Fun.
Martin Pieckenhagen - was secretly one of Bundesligas best goalkeepers for several years and then moved to Heracles where he remained brilliant. No one is ever gonna give this man any recognition, so I'll grab that chance.
Marco Ballotta - it was fun when Lazio signed a 41 year old backup keeper and it was hilarious when they ****ed up enough to force him to be the number one at age 44. Watching someones homeless uncle desperately struggling with all types of attempts was one of my great pleasures in his last Lazio season.
Defenders
Cafú
The second best player I've ever seen after Lionel Messi. Perfection. Complete player, excellent in more or less every appearance up until the end. As a human being I generally dont like perfection, but somehow accept it or even embrace it when it comes from a right back. Its more relatable; I cant be bothered by a Nobel prize winner, but a cleaner using a mop and bucket like a... wizard stick (is that the English expression for it..?) is something beautiful.
Olof Mellberg
Any Swede really would probably have Mellberg somewhere on the list. "I'm not interested in football, only in winning". To me he was a world class defender during all those Aston Villa years. Sure, he couldnt actually play - but boy could he defend. A monster.
Igors Stepanovs
Everyone hated him so naturally I decided to love him. Is seen as a joke but was actually underrated. In terms of win %, Tony Adams best central defense partner all time.
Sylvinho
The Brazilian left back was a backup in Arsenal, Barcelona and Manchester City but always, always played well. Friendly, professional, never complained about his situation.
Khalid Boulahrouz
When he got selected to Marco van Bastens Oranje for the first time it was a signal saying "ok, we're done with the De Boers and Stams and whatnot for a while... this is what you get". Boula couldnt play football, but he could do what the manager told him. In every game both in the Dutch NT, in Hamburg and in Chelsea, he would be carded for fouling a key player. I remember writing a preview about Holland - Portugal in 2004 (06? dont remember) where I said Boulahrouz would get a red for taking Cristian Ronaldo out of the game... it took like three minutes before Ronaldo was crying and I cheered like a madman.
Carles Puyol
To this date I wonder: was Puyol a world class player or did he just have a world class attitude? Either way he was a joy to watch, impossible not to respect regardless of what your favorite team might have been.
Gaetan Bong
Not yet a permanent addition but I just find his exceptional meaninglesness combined with an percieved arrogancy a very compelling combination.
Midfielders
Håkan Mild
Couldnt play, but could run. That was enough to win the bronze in the 1994 World cup. When I was 10 I read a long article about him, where he told the journalists that he would pinch opponents at corners or step on their feet randomly. From that day, it was not fun playing against me.
Georgino Wijnaldum
I saw his debut in Feyenoord and immediatly thought "this guy is gonna turn world class" (well, I said the same thing about Royston Drenthe...). It took far longer than I expected but now he's there. He was also one of the first players younger than me, which was sort of a horror.
Clarence Seedorf
He is in the Cafu category of absolute brilliance.If you ask "who was the best player you ever played against?" to almost any CL player from the mid 90s to 2010, surprisingly many would answer Seedorf. His skill, passing, shooting, even defending was just pure class all day every day.
Philip Cocu
When Barcelona was at their worst, Cocu was still great and when he returned to PSV. I had the opportunity to interview him once and I'm not sure I've ever met a more boring man, but on the field he was both excellent and underrated.
Mark van Bommel
Disgusting. I love him. Always burning. Very, very traditional Dutch - believes he is God's gift to mankind, knows everything and took no shit and no prisoners, yet a friendly, fun and intelligent person. Won lots of titles everywhere and it was no coincidence.
Kleberson
This man. Came from absolutely nowhere and won the World Cup in 2002, later signing with Manchester United where he was considered a joke. Then completely disappears for like seven years until he again out of nowhere gets in to the Brazil squad for the 2010 World Cup. Randomness at its best.
Alex de Souza
Attacking midfielder with 12 goals in 48 appearances for Brazil and insanely good in Fenerbahce 2004-2012. 171 goals and 136 assists in 341 games is no joke. For sooo many years I was hoping that the bigger audience would get to see his brilliance, but unfortunately it never happened.
Mohamed Aboutrika
The best African to never play in a club outside of Africa. Actually Egypt has had a few really good players over the years but Al Ahly has always been able to pay as much as European top clubs. Selected as the best player based in Africa four times, and with good reason. A joy to watch and the only player who has ever made me stream the Egyptian league.
Pablo Infante *
See podcast below
Strikers
Pierre van Hooijdonk
My favorite player all time. Excellent scorer, the best fee kick taker in the world and with his 193 cm, long legs and long hair he just looked extremely powerful. I was really happy when Van Basten made him his first choice striker in 2004, ahead of RvN, Kluivert, Makaay, Hasselbaink etc. 335 goals in 551 league appearances. His son Sydney is now a professional footballer, also a very good free kick taker and unignorably a very, very white boy.
Marco Delvecchio
Francesco Totti. Alessandro Del Piero. Filippo Inzaghi. Robert Baggio, Christian Vieri. Who would you pick for your Euro 2000 final? Dino Zoff went with Delvecchio. Its sort of like having Shearer, Owen, Rooney, Sheringham and Kane and then settle for Heskey. I have a certain thing for bad players in great teams.
Gaizka Toquero
Couldnt play football. Loved him.
* Pablo Infante
It was the most boring day of winter 2012; we were out of weed, there was no exciting football to watch and we had no alcohol either. Magic happened when a friend came over with a sack of ketamine, and me and my roomie decided to watch the Spanish cup where Mirandes were playing against Espanyol. Surprisingly the tier 3 side won and got into the quarterfinals. Star player was Pablo Infante, some kind of 30yo bank man who at the time was the top scorer of the Spanish cup.
Naturally, or possibly chemically, we decided to make art, music, blogs and podcasts about this man. If you dont overdo ketamine and just take exactly enough, you dont really get ****ed, you only get curious. Still, recording this 12 min podcast at that state of mind is something I consider one of my greatest achievments.
Warning: Its very boring and perhaps even more uninteresting.