[News] New office speek bowlocks

Publius Ovidius

Well-known member

Jul 5, 2003

46,017

at home

• Sep 3, 2019

• #1

Had a new one this morning

....we will be joined by vikram xxxxxx who is a innovator and “ thought leader”

Thought leader....FFS

 

schmunk

"Members"

Jan 19, 2018

9,496

Mid mid mid Sussex

• Sep 3, 2019

• #2

Publius Ovidius said:

Had a new one this morning

....we will be joined by vikram xxxxxx who is a innovator and “ thought leader”

Thought leader....FFS

Click to expand...

It is bollocks, but it's not new bollocks: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_leader

 

Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash

Jul 6, 2003

70,151

• Sep 3, 2019

• #3

schmunk said:

It is bollocks, but it's not new bollocks: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_leader

Click to expand...

According to that link, 'thought leaders' are often asked to speak at 'webinars'

 

D

Diablo

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Sep 22, 2014

4,187

lewes

• Sep 3, 2019

• #4

schmunk said:

It is bollocks, but it's not new bollocks: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_leader

Click to expand...

I have also been deep in thought re "Thought Leader" and like yourself the word that is coming into my head is also Bollocks.

 

Dick Swiveller

Well-known member

Sep 9, 2011

9,155

• Sep 3, 2019

• #5

Had the pleasure of speaking to a Client Onboarding Executive the other day about "Hot Housing" a project. Apparently ducks needed to be in a row as well.

 

Publius Ovidius

Well-known member

Jul 5, 2003

46,017

at home

• Sep 3, 2019

• Thread starter
• #6

I have been invited to a “webinar” where I have asked to “ clear my mind of all preconceptions and provide zen thinking and high level patterns to measure digital workflows on a multi tenanted platform...”

I despair

Tom Hark said:

According to that link, 'thought leaders' are often asked to speak at 'webinars'

Click to expand...

 

Nottseagull

Well-known member

Nov 28, 2006

8,419

The Tory stronghold of Mansfield (majority increas

• Sep 3, 2019

• #7

Dick Swiveller said:

Also had this in a project brief.

We need to find solutions to our limitations or nuisances and utilise everyone in the team to get over the line.

Everyone is valued, everyone is respected and everyone has a say but with critical path in mind as we must progress towards our goal. Please honour these values.

Click to expand...

You ridicule that yet you use 'project brief' yourself

 

Last edited: Sep 3, 2019

Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash

Jul 6, 2003

70,151

• Sep 3, 2019

• #8

Publius Ovidius said:

I have been invited to a “webinar” where I have asked to “ clear my mind of all preconceptions and provide zen thinking and high level patterns to measure digital workflows on a multi tenanted platform...”

Click to expand...

Well see that you do then

Have you tried explaining that you're from planet earth?

 

Dick Swiveller

Well-known member

Sep 9, 2011

9,155

• Sep 3, 2019

• #9

Also had this in a project brief.

We need to find solutions to our limitations or nuisances and utilise everyone in the team to get over the line.

Everyone is valued, everyone is respected and everyone has a say but with critical path in mind as we must progress towards our goal. Please honour these values.

 

Knocky's Nose

Mon nez est en Valenciennes..

May 7, 2017

4,137

Eastbourne

• Sep 3, 2019

• #10

Dick Swiveller said:

Had the pleasure of speaking to a Client Onboarding Executive the other day about "Hot Housing" a project. Apparently ducks needed to be in a row as well.

Click to expand...

That kind of talk makes me super excited...

 

Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash

Jul 6, 2003

70,151

• Sep 3, 2019

• #11

Wonder whatever happened to NSC's very own thought leader [MENTION=2159]Digweeds Trousers[/MENTION]?

 

Publius Ovidius

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Jul 5, 2003

46,017

at home

• Sep 3, 2019

• Thread starter
• #12

Nottseagull said:

You ridicule that yet you use 'project brief' yourself

Click to expand...

What?

 

Publius Ovidius

Well-known member

Jul 5, 2003

46,017

at home

• Sep 3, 2019

• Thread starter
• #13

Dick Swiveller said:

Also had this in a project brief.

We need to find solutions to our limitations or nuisances and utilise everyone in the team to get over the line.

Everyone is valued, everyone is respected and everyone has a say but with critical path in mind as we must progress towards our goal. Please honour these values.

View attachment 114906

Click to expand...

ha ha ha

 

Nottseagull

Well-known member

Nov 28, 2006

8,419

The Tory stronghold of Mansfield (majority increas

• Sep 3, 2019

• #14

Publius Ovidius said:

What?

Click to expand...

Inexplicably, my post was displayed before the one I was replying to (I expected it to appear directly underneath so didn't use the quote, which I subsequently added).
It's the second oddity I've mentioned in the last couple of days so possibly a minor concern for Bozza?

 

Last edited: Sep 3, 2019

Bakero

Languidly clinical

Oct 9, 2010

13,761

Almería

• Sep 3, 2019

• #15

A company I work for was recently bought out/merged, which has released a wave of corporabollocks, such as the appointment of 'engagement champions'. Every member of staff from directors to cleaners has had to attend a 3 hour workshop on 'enhancing the customer experience journey' in which one learns that everyone is a customer- from the postman, to the HR manager to the IT bods. Also, the primary objective of the business is not to make profit but to 'provide exceptional customer experiences' . This has all come against the backdrop of redundancies, cutbacks and a general pissing everybody off.

 

maltaseagull

Well-known member

Feb 25, 2009

12,990

Zabbar- Malta

• Sep 3, 2019

• #16

https://www.scrumassembly.org/?gcli...jwEJrbWli4u57aLjuRq8xXSrIBEEIOoBoCLr0QAvD_BwE

I thought scrums were in rugby!

 

Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat

Aug 18, 2009

65,443

Beside the seaside, beside the sea

• Sep 3, 2019

• #17

I'm retired now, so has everyone stopped pushing the envelope (how quaint) and blue sky thinking?

 

Publius Ovidius

Well-known member

Jul 5, 2003

46,017

at home

• Sep 3, 2019

• Thread starter
• #18

There is a site called modern toss......the best for this sort of stuff

I’ll find the link

 

Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash

Jul 6, 2003

70,151

• Sep 3, 2019

• #19

Bakero said:

A company I work for was recently bought out/merged, which has released a wave of corporabollocks, such as the appointment of 'engagement champions'.

Click to expand...

Wondered how long it would be before 'champions' got a mention. Where I worked people were anointed 'champions' to do the shit jobs nobody else wanted to do. Paper jam? Seek ye out thee Photocopier Champion.

 

Publius Ovidius

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Jul 5, 2003

46,017

at home

• Sep 3, 2019

• Thread starter
• #20

We have all wanted to say this in “ brainstorming “ meetings