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[Cricket] Snowflake Aussies



seagullwedgee

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2005
2,981
I went to Lords yesterday with my lads, sat in the Mound Stand, group of 5 pretty larey Aussies in front of us, giving Archer some serious abuse from ball one for doming their skipper Steve Smith.

We tried to explain that cricket is a hardball sport, and modern day body line attack is a legitimate tactic for the bowler to get on top of the one-on-one duel, and that the Umpires have a framework to ensure consistent governance over how much short pitched stuff is allowable. But these Aussies kept on and on, “he could have died out there mate, and you think that’s funny? You think that’s acceptable do you mate?” etc etc. We replied that we didn’t think it was funny, but we did think it was acceptable, and we thought it was a good outcome because now every time Smith goes to the crease this bowler will be in his head and all over him like a rash, because Smith can’t handle genuine pace. Repeat... “he could have died out there mate, you should be ashamed of yourselves...”

Since when have Aussies been the world leaders in snow flaking?! I asked them if when a big 6 feet 10 and 20 stone mountain gets injured in an Aussie rules game, to they all stop for 5 minutes to mop his brow and give him a cuddle, do they heck.

And that’s when the trouble started...
 


BRIGHT ON Q

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
9,087
Went on Thursday and Cummins bowled bounced after bouncer at us.
 


I went to Lords yesterday with my lads, sat in the Mound Stand, group of 5 pretty larey Aussies in front of us, giving Archer some serious abuse from ball one for doming their skipper Steve Smith.

We tried to explain that cricket is a hardball sport, and modern day body line attack is a legitimate tactic for the bowler to get on top of the one-on-one duel, and that the Umpires have a framework to ensure consistent governance over how much short pitched stuff is allowable. But these Aussies kept on and on, “he could have died out there mate, and you think that’s funny? You think that’s acceptable do you mate?” etc etc. We replied that we didn’t think it was funny, but we did think it was acceptable, and we thought it was a good outcome because now every time Smith goes to the crease this bowler will be in his head and all over him like a rash, because Smith can’t handle genuine pace. Repeat... “he could have died out there mate, you should be ashamed of yourselves...”

Since when have Aussies been the world leaders in snow flaking?! I asked them if when a big 6 feet 10 and 20 stone mountain gets injured in an Aussie rules game, to they all stop for 5 minutes to mop his brow and give him a cuddle, do they heck.

And that’s when the trouble started...

Did you get the list of January transfer targets while you were there ?
 


Sussex Nomad

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2010
18,185
EP
Did you also remind them that Smith, apart from being a cheat, is not their captain?
 


seagullwedgee

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2005
2,981
Of course, the four of us went into banter overdrive as it all played out. The orchestrated cheating, as skipper, the crying on TV, the choosing not to wear side neck guards (which just about everyone has had retro-fitted after the Hughes incident) we gave it everything.

And then, right at that pivotal moment of banter max, Smith’s concussion replacement Labuschagne faced Archer, who promptly smashed him on the lid with a 93mph bumper, which sent him to the floor. Well, you couldn’t have scripted it better, we stood up and cheered and high fived, it was carnage in the Mound Stand.... and the Snowflakes melted in the heat...
 




seagullwedgee

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2005
2,981
Did you get the list of January transfer targets while you were there ?


Not quite. But I did meet one of my sauces in a West Hampstead ruby murray house afterwards, and got some hilarious detail, but not very interesting in the greater scheme of things, on the Tomer Hemed Charlton debacle!
 


Sussex Nomad

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2010
18,185
EP
Of course, the four of us went into banter overdrive as it all played out. The orchestrated cheating, as skipper, the crying on TV, the choosing not to wear side neck guards (which just about everyone has had retro-fitted after the Hughes incident) we gave it everything.

And then, right at that pivotal moment of banter max, Smith’s concussion replacement Labuschagne faced Archer, who promptly smashed him on the lid with a 93mph bumper, which sent him to the floor. Well, you couldn’t have scripted it better, we stood up and cheered and high fived, it was carnage in the Mound Stand.... and the Snowflakes melted in the heat...

So, all in all, snowflakes. Aussie cricket cheating since 1882 (or whatever the year was).
 


Thunder Bolt

Ordinary Supporter
I went to Lords yesterday with my lads, sat in the Mound Stand, group of 5 pretty larey Aussies in front of us, giving Archer some serious abuse from ball one for doming their skipper Steve Smith.

We tried to explain that cricket is a hardball sport, and modern day body line attack is a legitimate tactic for the bowler to get on top of the one-on-one duel, and that the Umpires have a framework to ensure consistent governance over how much short pitched stuff is allowable. But these Aussies kept on and on, “he could have died out there mate, and you think that’s funny? You think that’s acceptable do you mate?” etc etc. We replied that we didn’t think it was funny, but we did think it was acceptable, and we thought it was a good outcome because now every time Smith goes to the crease this bowler will be in his head and all over him like a rash, because Smith can’t handle genuine pace. Repeat... “he could have died out there mate, you should be ashamed of yourselves...”

Since when have Aussies been the world leaders in snow flaking?! I asked them if when a big 6 feet 10 and 20 stone mountain gets injured in an Aussie rules game, to they all stop for 5 minutes to mop his brow and give him a cuddle, do they heck.

And that’s when the trouble started...

Whilst appreciating the sentiment of Aussie cheating, I hope you don't insist that Mooy or Ryan, if they get concussed in a game, just receive a cuddle and no treatment.
 








seagullwedgee

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2005
2,981
I did ask these Aussies if they thought we should perhaps play with a tennis ball as the game was so dangerous now. Don’t be so ridiculous came the reply. So I suggested we still play with a hard ball, but limit run-ups to five yards, to limit pace. Same reply. So I suggested lengthening the track to 24 yards to give more reaction time. Same reply. So I suggested leaving the track at 22 yards but the front foot line is the stump line. Same reply. In the end I ran out of ideas. So I asked them for theirs. They had none. Other than “he could have died out there...”

More trouble started when I came back with “WGACA...”
 




Springal

Well-known member
Feb 12, 2005
23,708
GOSBTS


seagullwedgee

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2005
2,981
We did get on to Mooy and Ryan. All 5 of them thought they were modern day Aussie sporting heroes, to be fair.
 


Mellotron

I've asked for soup
Jul 2, 2008
31,724
Brighton
There is no better example of "can give it but can't take it" in world sport than the Australian Cricket team. Genuinely pathetic.
 




maltaseagull

Well-known member
Feb 25, 2009
12,938
Zabbar- Malta
Went on Thursday and Cummins bowled bounced after bouncer at us.

Ahhh but that's different!
We aren't supposed to have fast bowlers.

Smith should have been wearing the proper protection but chose not to.
 




seagullwedgee

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2005
2,981
It probably didn’t show on TV very clearly, but when Archer was coming in full tilt to the lower order late on in the day, he had two forward short legs, a leg slip, a deep fine leg, a deep square leg just in front, and keeper and two slips. It was just beautiful to watch, we have not had a genuine “living inside your head” pace weapon for 10 years or more.
 


wellquickwoody

Many More Voting Years
NSC Patreon
Aug 10, 2007
13,584
Melbourne
I went to Lords yesterday with my lads, sat in the Mound Stand, group of 5 pretty larey Aussies in front of us, giving Archer some serious abuse from ball one for doming their skipper Steve Smith.

We tried to explain that cricket is a hardball sport, and modern day body line attack is a legitimate tactic for the bowler to get on top of the one-on-one duel, and that the Umpires have a framework to ensure consistent governance over how much short pitched stuff is allowable. But these Aussies kept on and on, “he could have died out there mate, and you think that’s funny? You think that’s acceptable do you mate?” etc etc. We replied that we didn’t think it was funny, but we did think it was acceptable, and we thought it was a good outcome because now every time Smith goes to the crease this bowler will be in his head and all over him like a rash, because Smith can’t handle genuine pace. Repeat... “he could have died out there mate, you should be ashamed of yourselves...”

Since when have Aussies been the world leaders in snow flaking?! I asked them if when a big 6 feet 10 and 20 stone mountain gets injured in an Aussie rules game, to they all stop for 5 minutes to mop his brow and give him a cuddle, do they heck.

And that’s when the trouble started...

Hello chap, Sure your boy will have plenty of opinions of this kind of behaviour from the Aussies. They really do have double standards.

A few weeks back during the Cricket World Cup the mainstream media here were all over the event. ,Our boys doing this, our boys playing brilliantly’ etc etc.,. Once they were knocked out the media coverage just vanished, not overnight, but during that very day. When the team were doing well they were the LEAD story on the news, later that day just a 30 second mention. When England won the tournament there was a seemingly slight pleasure that those from ‘over the ditch’ had lost but England had somehow ‘cheated’ their way to victory via the runs coming from the attempted run out. Cheated? Really?

Once the one day stuff was over we had the prospect of The Ashes. Mainstream media greeted this with slogans like ‘We’re going to smash the Poms!’, and ‘We have the only cricket trophy that matters’. I have learned that Aussies are very, very good salesmen of all that is good, be that sport, weather, a shiny new car whatever. They over enthuse about the slightest positive. When asked a standard greeting like ‘How do you do?’ (In Aussie that is ‘How are you travelling?’) they are always doing brilliantly, amazingly whatever the situation. As a Brit I sometimes give a standard UK response of ‘Not bad thank you, how about you?’. That is a negative answer here, you have not talked up the positive so you must be unhappy/doing badly/whatever.

And so to the Archer/Smith thing. The ball has been described as ‘violent’, as ‘vicious’, and ‘targetted’, as if it was something negative to be ashamed of. It was a great ball, a contest between two gladiators (one of whom is a cheating great player) and it was enthralling. The press here have even tried to say the later ball that caught the sub batsmen was ‘shameful’. In short, yes the Aussies are a tough bunch that face adversity with a strong chin and approach life with a can do attitude, and they will tell you all about it. Once things go against them they hide away and try to claim the moral high ground when the first opportunity arises, in short, yes, snowflakes.
 




Sussex Nomad

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2010
18,185
EP
It probably didn’t show on TV very clearly, but when Archer was coming in full tilt to the lower order late on in the day, he had two forward short legs, a leg slip, a deep fine leg, a deep square leg just in front, and keeper and two slips. It was just beautiful to watch, we have not had a genuine “living inside your head” pace weapon for 10 years or more.

And if that didn't tell the Aussies he is going to whistle it around your head they are quite frankly stupid.
 


Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
49,985
Goldstone
Not quite. But I did meet one of my sauces in a West Hampstead ruby murray house afterwards, and got some hilarious detail, but not very interesting in the greater scheme of things, on the Tomer Hemed Charlton debacle!
I didn't know they'd installed mirrors there.
 



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