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[Help] Social care/alcohol support in the US



Normal Rob

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
5,644
Somerset
Ok, this is a niche,complicated and difficult subject, but I have nowhere else to turn to so I’m testing the collective power of NSC to help. Bear with me, it needs some background details to set the scene.

My cousin, a single parent who lives near San Francisco, contacted me the other day, in what I can only describe as an act of desperation. 2 years ago, her mum (my aunt), moved from Chicago to live with her and her daughter following the death of her husband. At the time it seemed like a good solution. My cousin needed help with childcare, my aunt needed family for emotional support. They share a small 2 bed apartment, meaning that my cousin and niece are now having to share a room.

In the last 2 years my aunt has started drinking heavily, sustaining several nasty falls over this period, most notably both a broken arm and broken back. She suffers what my cousin describes a prolonged ‘dark moods’ taking the pain of her loss out on my cousin and also saying that life has treated her terribly due to both her husbands prior long term illness and that my cousin also suffers from a lifelong medical condition. To me, and I’m no expert, this is chronic depression. There is also the possibility of vascular dementia as my aunt has heart failure but has refused to get it sorted despite the possibility of a pacemaker being fitted. She drinks to deal with both emotional and physical pain, and is usually drunk when my cousin returns from work. Sadly even the child has now noticed the situation they are all living in.


Added to this, my niece is growing fast, and needs her own room, and my cousin needs her space back to live her life. It cannot go on like it is..


My cousin and I have always been close, despite the distance, and she has turned to me for help in this dire situation. So now, due to my complete lack of knowledge of social care, healthcare in the US, I'm turning to NSC to see if anyone can offer advice of who she needs to speak to. I assume that some kind of assessment of my aunts condition is required, but I have no idea how to do that in the UK, let alone the US.

It would be easy to say that my cousin needs to sort it out herself, but she is desperately trying to hold onto her job in order to keep her apartment and a roof over her daughter’s head. She will ,of course, do what she can but she needs help. Any previous attempts to tackle the situation with my aunt have ended in nasty confrontation. I’m willing to approach my aunt on the situation (though this could only be done by some form of online social media cam) , but I need some background knowledge on what support would be available to her if we can persuade her to seek help.

If anyone has any kind of understanding of health and welfare support in the USA, I’d really appreciate hearing from you.

Thanks.
 


dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Mar 27, 2013
52,009
Burgess Hill
Sorry to hear this - must be awful for you. I guess you know that without insurance any form of medical support (including for MH issues) in the US is very expensive. Afraid I can't help other than point you in the direction of this organisation that I know of through someone who did get some help from them. I can't vouch for them as I have no direct experience but maybe worth contacting.

https://www.nami.org/Find-Support
 


pearl

Well-known member
May 3, 2016
12,714
Behind My Eyes
Sorry to hear about your families situation. From what you say about your aunt's injuries/health it sounds like she must have some kind of insurance? Maybe your cousin she look into this? Sorry I can't help, but I know there are NSC posters in the US, maybe they can offer advice later (when their day starts)
 


LowKarate

New member
Jan 6, 2004
2,002
Wombling free
Not an expert in this, but this site may give you some leads to follow.

https://www.usa.gov/benefits#item-35462

The trouble is (and as hinted at on the same pages) that Medicaid is means tested and considers everyone’s income in the same household. If your cousin’s income is low enough then they might qualify, but if it exceeds the threshold then they may have to resolve / pay for any help themselves.
 


Lush

Mods' Pet
I have no knowledge of how you go about getting medical care in the US, but a good (and free) starting point could be for your aunt to seek help from AA, who are pretty widespread in the US.

However she may not want to.

If not, your cousin could find a local Al-Anon group (also very widespread in the US) who are for families of alcoholics. They will be very supportive and have experience of this situation, and it will be good for her to have people to talk to about what's going on for her and her mum.
 






Jim Van Winkle

Well-known member
Jul 14, 2010
3,125
Hawaii
This sounds like a terrible situation and even worse having to deal with it halfway across the world.

First of all, welcome to the minefield that is the American healthcare system. I hope you brought your wallet.

I would start by finding out what kind of health insurance she has if any or if she has Medicare/Medicaid. Visit her GP, he/she should recommend the appropriate help she needs or if that doesn’t bring success you can call a representative from the insurance/Medicare/Medicaid and they can recommend services that your Aunt needs that are in her network.

This is a good start. I hope it works out. Just bounce this thread if you need any more help after this step.
 


Juan Albion

Chicken Sniffer 3rd Class
If not, your cousin could find a local Al-Anon group (also very widespread in the US) who are for families of alcoholics. They will be very supportive and have experience of this situation, and it will be good for her to have people to talk to about what's going on for her and her mum.

Agreed, Al-Anon is what your cousin definitely needs. It will not only offer her counseling but also a group of friends going through the same thing. No doubt Al-Anon will also be up to date on what options are available to help your aunt (knowing the States, I wouldn't be surprised if this varied a bit from state to state, so local knowledge is probably vital.)
 



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